Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hello Bill,
Here's an exchange while Harley riding thru rural West Virginia. Use
it if you think it's worth a smile.
I went into a local variety store and asked the young girl at the
counter how to get to Wheeling.
"You gots ta take a bus."
"No problem, I've got my own wheels."
"All I knows is ya gots ta take a bus ta get ta Wheeling."
Entering into the spirit of the conversation: "Which way does the bus
go when it leaves town."
"Toward Wheeling."
(Why bikers go grey)
Roger
I got a late start today. I woke up and my computer was off and at
first
I thought it had been a power failure so I restarted it and let it
scan itself
and then went in and started working on a friend's computer that was
freezing up after start up. I found a Trojan and several bad files
and repaired
those and got rid of Norton 2005 and installed Avast and Malware Bytes
on the computer so that was ready to go and I came out and sat down
at my computer and started to sort through mail when I heard a
chirping
sound like a little bird. As it happened the second time I noticed I
had
developed an audience. The cats were staring at me and at the computer
as it chirped every few minutes. At first I was amused then it
started to
get annoying and finally I was cringing as it made that awful sound
in an
otherwise quiet room. I also suspected that somehow that fan had
shut down last night and I didn't want to run the risk of it
happening again
so I shut the computer down and cleaned the radiator and power supply
fan and while I had the fan off of the CPU I pulled the sticker of
the back
and dropped a little oil in the bearings and worked it till it was
spinning
freely. I put it back together and hit the button and it was so quiet.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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BK Chips
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A link on MSNBC.COM explained why the "Hire The Mentally Handicapped
Program" has taken on such a foothold at Burger King...... The King
has teamed up with . . . sigh . . . AOL.
Holy shit. Can you just see it now?
"Hi, this is AOL / Time / Warner / Burger King, how can I help you?"
"My hamburger isn't done the way I want it."
"Did you install salt and pepper, mustard and ketchup?"
"No, I didn't."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Alien jokes
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Woman's Rebuttal"
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our
underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about
armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you
successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding -
it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have
to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you
wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers,
research the number of accidents caused by rubber-
necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends
keep track of "who's easy"?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don 't
care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your
appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite
outfit rather than "yours" - the torn jeans and dirty
T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system
to indicate a Positive vs. A negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and
then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work";
besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is
it then you never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling...
However, very few raises or promotions were gained by
arm wrestling the boss.
Randy
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's teacher decided that the children should learn about
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stood up in front of the class:
"Ladies (grabbing chest) and gentlemen (grabbing crotch)..."
Little Johnny's teacher wasn't amused, so she sent him to the
Principal's office. Little Johnny explained what happened, so the
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"Ladies (motioning woman's curves) and gentlemen (making a muscle
with his arm)..."
Little Johnny went back to class and proceeded to give his speech
again:
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with his arm), it gives me great pleasure (whacking-off motion)..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would
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Did you hear about the circumciser who missed? He got the sack.
Okay, so the Viagra my boyfriend took was still having an effect
hours
later -- does that give him the right to go running to the emergency
room asking to see the head nurse?
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink
spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
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A waste of fuckin' time.
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of Assorted Creams!
What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
Squatters.
What do you call a herd of masturbating bulls?
Beef strokin' off. (Richard Lederer).
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Slogan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rejected Slogans
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Bag Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just little paper
bag!" "Then there can be only one explanation.
doctor. "Your
mother must have been a carrier."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPS Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the
neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches
one of the homes he noticed that both cars were
still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by
Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of
empty beer and liquor bottles.
'Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a
party last night,' the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies, 'Actually we had it
Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like
moving since *4:00 am* Sunday morning. We had
about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood
over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell,
we all got so drunk around midnight that we started
playing WHO AM I.'
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, 'How do you
play WHO AM I?'
Bob says, 'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and
we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us,
with only our 'privates' showing through a hole i n the
sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'
The UPS man laughs and says, 'Damn, I'm sorry I
missed that.'
'Probably a good thing you did,' Bob responds. 'Your
name came up seven times.'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
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Oh Fuck
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.
The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her
Then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her
Suzie Wong and her sister looked tight.
They seduced Stephen Wright one hot night.
He resisted just one,
But a pair? Too much fun!
So you see, two Wongs can make a Wright!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four priests board a train for a long journey to a church council
conference. Shortly into the trip, one pries says, "Well, we've all
worked together for many years, but don't really know one another. I
suggest we tell each other one of our sins."
They look nervously at each other, but nod OK. The first priest says,
"Since I suggested it, I'll go first. With me, it's the drink. Once a
year I take off my collar and go out of town to a pub and drink myself
blind for a few days. Get it out of my system."
They all look each other again nervously, but the next priest slowly
starts, "Well....with me, it's gambling. Periodically, I snitch the
money out of the poor box and go to the races. Spend it all! I get it
out of my system."
The third, who is really nervous now, reluctantly says, "This is very
difficult. My sin is worse. I take off my collar and go into the red
light district, pick out a lass, and spend a week with her, fucking
her
every which way. I REALLY get it out of my system."
They all look at the fourth priest waiting. He doesn't say anything.
Then one of the four speaks up saying, "Come now, brother, we've all
told our innermost faults. It's your turn." He looks at the others,
obviously not sure whether he should say anything, and then suddenly
blurts out, "Well ... I'm an inveterate gossip, and I just can't wait
to
get off this train!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny walks into a city bus and sits right behind
the driver. Little Johnny starts yelling, 'If my dad was
a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who
continued with, 'If my dad was an elephant and my mom
a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'
Little Johnny went on with several animals until the
bus driver got angry and yelled at him, 'What if your
dad was a faggot and your mom a prostitute?!
Little Johnny smiled and said, 'I would be a bus driver!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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