THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  COSMOPOLITAN VS. VOGUE(R) Choose your favorite magazine and receive a FREE 1 Year Subscription! Act now to get your favorite fashion magazine delivered right to your doorsteps for FREE! Simply choose between COSMOPOLITAN and VOGUE(R) and you'll get a FREE 1 Year Subscription to the magazine you selected! http://www.thepostm  FREE* SAMPLE of NEW COLGATE MAX FRESH Whitening Toothpaste! Breath strips & whitening toothpaste combine to create COLGATE MAX FRESH! COLGATE MAX FRESH is your daily anti-cavity toothpaste with the added benefits of teeth-whitening agents plus mini breath strips that dissolve instantly inside your mouth for a lasting fresh breath experience. http://www.thepostm  Which Soft Drink do you prefer this summer? PEPSI or DIET PEPSI? Vote now and get 12 Cases FREE*! http://www.thepostm  PLAYTEX Gentle Glide Unscented Multi-Pack - FREE* SAMPLE At the gym or at a sleepover, on the road, or in a dress, feel 100% confident with PLAYTEX Gentle Glide protection. Your FREE* PLAYTEX Gentle Glide Unscented Multi-Pack offers a selection of absorbencies to provide you with the variety of comfort you need both at the start and end of your cycle. http://www.thepostm The "war department returns home this afternoon from Tennessee. I have to admit, I am looking forward to. I don't do well as a bachelor! In the news today, President Bush in his last month of service, called a meeting of politicians from both parties. The meeting was intended to be a bi partisan relationship builder. Barack Obama, the democratic presidential nominee, was invited and was present as well. The meeting was hailed as a success and many bi partisan ideas were exchanged.  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics online affair http://www.thepostm brother Bruce http://www.thepostm yesterday, the same as today http://www.thepostm in the morning http://www.thepostm accusations http://www.thepostm desperation http://www.thepostm business isn't good http://www.thepostm  Being a virgin, Bob was very nervous about his upcoming wedding night, so he decided to seek the advice of his friend John, who was quite the local Romeo. "Just relax, Bob," counseled John. "After all, you grew up on a farm - just do like the dogs do. "Right after the honeymoon the bride stormed over to her mother's house in tears and announced that she wasn't going to live under the same roof as Bob for even one more night. "He's totally disgusting!" she wailed. At first Bob's bride resisted her mother's attempts to find out the exact nature of the problem, but finally she broke down. "Ma, he doesn't know anything at all about how to be romantic, how to make love.... he just keeps smelling my ass and pissing on the bedpost!" ____________ Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Bubba's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Jim Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Bubba stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother. 'Grandma,' he asked, 'it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?' Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said, 'Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you idiot.' ____________ Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life. As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities. One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife. One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven." God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere." I m sorry to hear that", the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again." "You can see him if you wish", God said "I will give you the power to gaze into hell." So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde. The good brother turned to God and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell can not be that bad." God explained. "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn't." ____________ A man goes to the doctor and reports that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up," the doctor says. "Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, Doc, exactly what's my problem?" Says the doctor, "You're not drinking enough water." ____________ A man is walking down the street, when he sees a machine with two holes and with a sign overhead that reads: 'Blow Job'. The machine has two slots, one for one dollar and one for a quarter. He looks in his pockets and finds a dollar and a quarter. He throws the dollar in the machine and sticks his penis into the first hole. And, surprisingly, it feels good . . . it feels very good . . . And just when he's about to come, the machine stops.So he puts his dick in the other hole and puts the quarter in. And it hurts, it hurts. At first he is not even able to take his dick out, but when he does, it's raw and covered with blood. He's crying because of the pain. An old lady comes from behind the machine and stops to ask what's the matter. He tells her about the first hole and how *wonderful* it felt. Then he describes the hell of the second hole, and shows her his red and torn penis. And the little old biddy smiles sweetly and says, "You don't expect me to take out my false teeth for a quarter, do you?" ____________ A polar bear and a penguin were walking along the snow dunes one day when the polar bear fell down a chasm. Try as he might, the poor polar bear couldn't get out. The penguin did everything he could think of, but he couldn't rescue his friend. Then a thought struck him! He said, "Hold on for a few minutes, I'll be right back!" He then ran off and returned in a few minutes driving his red Ferrarri. He backed it up to the edge of the chasm and tied a rope to the end. With his friend holding on to the rope, he was able to pull him out to safety. After the polar bear thanked the penguin for saving his life, they continued on their walk. Later on that very same day, the penguin fell into a similar chasm. Now, as everyone knows, polar bears can't drive. So it looked bad for the penguin. Then the polar bear had an idea! He allowed his penis to swing down into the chasm, all the way to the bottom. The penguin gladly used it to climb his way to the top! The moral of this story is: If you have a big enough penis, you don't need a Ferrarri. Fun pages from Lorraine Slim or Die Man Sheds 44 Stone http://tinyurl. Stars Most Heavenly Bodies http://tinyurl. Immoral and Illegal http://tinyurl. Buffalo Bill Viagra Side Effects http://www.buffalos Immature Man http://www.buffalos Formatting The Harddrive http://www.buffalos Papa Thorn Things happen... http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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