THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! The difference between gossip and news depends on whether you heard it or told it.  JOIN FOR FREE! Don't let love pass you by! view photos of singles in your area! http://www.thepostm  Pick your favorite topping. Get $250 in Papa John's(R) Gift Cards, FREE Bettter ingredients, better pizza! Get yours FREE! http://www.thepostm  NEW! HOSTESS 100 Calorie Packs Get 2 Boxes of Your Favorite Flavor FREE*! Ever wish you could eat 3 Cupcakes without adding on the pounds? Consider your wish granted with NEW HOSTESS 100 Calorie Packs! Get 2 Boxes of either Golden Cupcakes with Chocolate Icing or Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Icing, FREE*! 3 Mini cakes per serving. Only 100 Calories! http://www.thepostm Did you happen to catch the headline news for Yahoo today? WASHINGTON - Days after it got a federal bailout, American International Group Inc. spent $440,000 on a posh California retreat for its executives, complete with spa treatments, banquets and golf outings, according to lawmakers investigating the company's meltdown. AIG sent its executives to the coastal St. Regis resort south of Los Angeles even as the company tapped into an $85 billion loan from the government it needed to stave off bankruptcy. The resort tab included $23,380 worth of spa treatments for AIG employees, according to invoices the resort turned over to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. This is what our fed intervention with 700 billion dollars worth of taxpayers money is buying us. isn't that wonderful to know? In other news, there was an article that talked about how counselors are seeing a lot more people because of depression over economic woes and hardships. Now, here is an interesting thot, Altho the 700 billion bux of the bailout bill, er sorry, rescue bill, does not help any homeowners who are getting foreclosed on, I wonder: Will depression over the economy give us a better reason for filing for Social Security disability? On a happier note, the CABIN CUDDLER is back! Its a wonderful blanket wrap, the postman clan has discovered. While we don't really travel that much, we use them around the house. I ordered 4..its a good bargain for a twenty. And if you get 2 or more you can get a third for free. !!!! Its also why I am mentioning it at this point...its a good deal right now. You really cannot go wrong with it for the price...turn down the furnace this winter and save some money! Recommended by Martin aka the postman  Cabin cuddler Buy 3...get a fourth for FREE Thanks giving sale The cabin cuddler is a lightweight travel blanket with a foot pocket and shoulder wrap that keeps you warm in cold airplane cabins, car trips or just curled up at home http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS a lucky man http://www.thepostm what really hurts http://www.thepostm our special song http://www.thepostm pulling the plug http://www.thepostm impalin Palin...now playing at a theatre near you! http://www.thepostm father son day http://www.thepostm muslims get old http://www.thepostm suggestion box http://www.thepostm the gynecologist http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Happy days http://www.thepostm my everything http://www.thepostm a redneck carnival ride http://www.thepostm pick up lines http://www.thepostm kitties n puppies http://www.thepostm bottom of the nineth http://www.thepostm ____________ POWER POINT DISPLAYS mmm, nice-power point display http://www.thepostm COOL STUFF impossible golf shot http://www.thepostm break dancing http://www.thepostm Beverly Hillbilly trivia http://www.thepostm going deeper http://www.thepostm ____________ <RRRrrrrinnggg!> "Hello?" "Hello! Mr. Michaels?" "Speaking." "How are you today?" "OK so far..." "My name is Debbie from Pointless Industries, and I'm calling to offer you a fabulous new offer that we are offering.... "Who is this really?" "My name is Debbie from---" "How did you get this number?" "Well.. you are on our list of preferred--- <urgent whisper> "Listen to me, and listen good! You tell Hugo and his goons I lived up to my end of the deal! I cut up the bodies like he said, I ditched the car like he said, now I'm out of it, understand? You tell him he bothers me or my family again and I take everything I know to the Man, and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!" <hang up> ____________ There were three women who's husband's had all died on the same day, and the same hospital. All three of the wife's met each other, and starting talking about what they were going to do with their husband. All three of them said that their husbands were going to be cremated. The third wife asks the first where she's going to put her husbands ashes. The first replys "I'm going to go skydiving one last time, and then dump all of his ashes all over the place. That was the one thing that reminds me the most of him, so I'll do it." The first asks the second where she's going to put her husbands ashes. The second tells them "Well, there's this one lake where we used to always go and fish there for many hours at a time. Yes, I think that would be the best place for him." Then the second wife asks the third the same question as the other two. The third answers "What I'm going to do is this: I'm going to make a great big bowl of chili, with everything in it that he and I used to always eat, put the best and most expensive of everything though this time. And I'm going to put his ashes in it, and then eat it, so that he can tear my ass up one more time before he is totally out of my life." ____________ Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Dave says, "John, what are you so happy for?" "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!" After a couple of days Dave walks again into that bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says, "What are you happy about today John?" "Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I told her 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave! She couldn't swim!" A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer. Dave says, "John, what are you so sad for?" "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave. Tits WAY out to here. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said "It's either screw or swim!" She pulled down her pants and..... She had a dick, Dave! She had this great BIG dick! ... and I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!" ____________ Your momma is so fat she gets stuck in her dreams! Your momma is so poor that when she wrote a check the whole bank bounced! Your momma is so fat she went to the beach and sold shade! Your mommas lips are so big that she needs a kick stand to hold them up! Your momma is so ugly she has to sneak up on a cup of water! Your mommas so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas! Your mommas throat is so tough she could gargle peanut butter! Your momma is so fat when she broke her leg gravy poured out! Your momma is so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck! Your momma is so fat she uses a VCR as a beeper! ____________ Two Newfies are in a mental hospital and their psychiatrist tells them to go clean their room. A little while later the psychiatrist enters their room and sees one of them suspended from the ceiling. "What are you doing up there?" he asks in surprise. "I'm a light bulb," answers the Newf. "Get down from there and come with me right now!" exclaims the doctor. As he's going down the hall, the doctor sees that both of the Newfies are following him. "Why are you here?" the doctor asks the second Newf. "You don't think I'm going to clean the room in the dark???" ____________ Procrastination http://able2laugh. ____________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Microsoft Merger With McDonalds http://tinyurl. Pitbull Palin http://tinyurl. Olympic Event http://www.buffalos Anal Retentive http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: |
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