THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I never did give them hell. I just told the truth,
and they thought it was hell.
- Harry S Truman
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
This will be my last message for a couple of days.
The war department has decided to conviscate my
computer. She has declared this necessary so that
I can concentrate on taking care of a couple of health
issues. My apologies and don't worry.
I will be back as soon as possible.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
mingle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k032.html
in the hole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k033.html
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k034.html
fuckface
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k035.html
forget it harold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k036.html
forget it harry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k037.html
you don't understand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k038.html
testing the water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k039.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
it sleeps!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/0010.html
one two one two
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/0020.html
the pilot says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/0030.html
indestructible drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/0040.html
chinese mass production
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/0050.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd322.html
Arizona
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd323.html
Baarrios of Dubai
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd324.html
trimmed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd325.html
______________
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing
what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked
for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better
treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train
a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP
hollow point cartridge.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that's why California is broke.
___________
Since his wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband
decides to sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable 'mistake'
which might happen, for he has been desperate for sex for quite a
while now...
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees
the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes staring widely into the
empty air, filled with hopeless desire...
Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of the
cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to him. She says...
"Awww, honey you're so depressed... Here, take this and go to the
woman next door, and she will let you sleep with her tonight...
But remember that this happens only once... Ok?... Don't ever
talk about it or ask me to do this again."
The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may
change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly.
A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife
and says with much disappointment, "She said this isn't enough,
she wants sixty dollars..."
The wife's face slowly turns red with anger:
"Damn that bitch... When she was pregnant and her husband came
over here... I only charged him fifty..."
___________
A schoolteacher asks one of her students, "What do you consider
to be the opposite of laughing?"
The student replies, "It's sex!"
"Shame on you!" the teacher said "How can you say that?"
"Ma'am, laughing is 'Ha, ha, ha.'
Sex is 'Ah, ah, ah," the student answers.
________________
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered
around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.
An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman..
______________
Bob goes on a blind date with this Canadian chick named
Cindy. Later, after dinner and a movie, Cindy invites Bob
up to her apartment to fool around.She reclines on the couch,
spreads her legs and says, "Stick a finger in me."
Bob obliges. Then Cindy says, "Stick in the other three."
Once again, Bob obliges. Then Cindy says, "Just go ahead
and shove your whole hand in there."
So Bob eases his hand into Cindy, who then says,
"Now shove in your other hand."
Bob does so, and Cindy says, "Now CLAP!"
Bob tries, but nothing doing. "I can't!" he says.
Cindy looks at him with a smile and says, "Pretty tight, eh?"
BUFFALO BILL
Taint
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgffdesw.htm
Taint Taster
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nbcfsxfd.htm
Time to Leave Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mhfdesere.htm
___________
FUN PAGES
Motorcycle Sounds
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38548&s=n
Drag Race Demon
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41614&s=n
Illegal Swim
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41426&s=n
Dead Love
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41408&s=n
That's all folks!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
__._,_.___
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