Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got up this morning about 1000 and noticed it was already
hot in the house. We ran out of soda last night so I made
a run to the store and it was already 89 degrees outside.
Had to go to several places to find Diet Coke which is not
something they normally run out of. I also restocked on
Popsicles and headed back home. When I got there Buffy
was waiting for the Suburban to go pay some bills. I pointed
the fan at my bed and laid down to nap until the place cooled
down.
While Buffy was out she picked up several packs of batteries
and when she got back Sandy and Buffy tried to set up the
sidewalk spray painter. They got the paint mixed but couldn't
get it to work so they came in and woke me out of a sound
sleep to try and fix it. I glanced at the instructions and the first
thing was that the nozzle had to be pointed downward for it to
work so I pointed it at the floor and squeezed the trigger, and
squirted pink paint on Sandy's leg. I told them it appeared to be
working fine and went back to my nap, Sandy went into the bathroom
to wash the paint off and Buffy and Eva went out to spray the
sidewalk.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Record Chips
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I was at a music store and checking out the records, (I'm really
into vinyl) and find nothing that interests me, so I say, "Have a
nice day"
and as I was walking out of a music store I tucked in my shirt. The
guy at the door stops me and says "All right, Bubba, I know you have
got a record in your pants." I pull away from him and say "I don't.
I have nothing of yours buddy!" He refuses to let me go and pulls me
into the back room where his boss, the owner or the store, who was
this tall sexy redhead, was. She takes hold of me and the door man
walks back to his position. She interrogates me, and I hold my
ground.
She said if I don't produce a record, she will call the cops. Right
about then I got so frustrated that I pull down my pants and show
her what I got. She starts giving me a blow job telling me how
sorry she was for falsely accusing me, and she insists on walking me
out of the store. As we passed the door man he shouts "Was there a
record? Did he have the record? "The owner said " No, but he
missed it by only a half inch."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
ceremony
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champagne
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charm toon
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charmin
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cheap
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Court Chips
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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666 Chips
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666 is the Number of the BEAST
670 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9999954 - Number of the Pentium Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 x sq. rt (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast 6
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
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$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement
soul
$606.66 - Wal-Mart price of the Beast
$566.66 - Costco/Price Club price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National
Bank, $666 -minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast uh... what was that number again?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two ladies were discussing a news article concerning gasoline
fumes causing impotence in the male. "Aren't you worried about your
husband's new job at the gas station? Those fumes could cause him
to lose the lead in his pencil." "Doesn't matter." giggled the other
lady. "He doesn't do all my writing anyway."
Tom in deep thoughts is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong with
you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I'm your best friend. You can talk
to me." "My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant." "That's
not possible." "No, he did." "How?" "He punctured my condoms!"
"That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned
Rich to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the
wrong word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but
can't feel." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Lonely Chips
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I miss my husband. I really do. He's traveling and I'm home all
alone and this weather sucks and I want company. So, I'd like to
propose the following:
I'm looking for a surrogate husband, just for today. I will cook a
great meal for you and greet you at the door wearing nothing but
lingerie.
You must agree to:
-- come home by 7:00pm, but not actually show up until 8:00pm.
Please don't apologize for being late and don't call to let me know
you are going to be late.
-- walk in the door without actually greeting me.
-- the first words out of your mouth, after you get out of the
bathroom, should be: "What's for dinner?"
-- take your plate from the table and walk into the living room and
sit down in front of the TV, leaving me alone.
-- put your feet up on the coffee table, chew with your mouth open
and ask me to grab you a beer.
-- not compliment me on the fact that the house is clean or that the
food that took me several hours to cook is any good.
-- ignore me for the rest of the night and watch ESPN instead.
-- tell me to stop when I try to cuddle up to you on the couch and
ask me to get you a beer instead.
-- come to bed without showering, even though you've been at work
all day.
-- fart in bed and then fluff the covers.
-- wake me up to ask me for a blow job.
Please, please, please help me out! I miss the asshole.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/First Love
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Marlene/Beulah Land
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Stay The Knight
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Surfin Surfari
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120 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power
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World's Largest Things
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Worldometers - real time world statistics
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Firefox 4 beta
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Free Sound Effects
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Free Movie Editing Software for Mac
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Like YouTube for Video Games
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
Taking A Catbath
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Movie Links
Swan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjhsk.htm
Texas Shoot Out
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Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssjssd.htm
What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
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Workout Bra
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Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsdj.htm
Parking 1
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Parking 2
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Parking3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfgds.htm
Peeling
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elephant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the height of ambition?
A: An ant climbing an elephant's leg with the intention of rape.
Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"
Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?
Q: Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?
A: So they can jump up in trees and rape monkeys.
Q: What sound do monkeys hate most?
A:
Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back
seat of your car?
A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What is more difficult than getting 2 elephants in the back seat
of your car?
A: Getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of your car!
Q: Whats more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in the back
seat of your car?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in the back seat of your car!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Talk To Hot Women
I must admit, a woman is a mans best friend.
While I was in college, I did the typical guy thing.
Went to bars, and tried to hang out with chicks; but actually
talking to them was another story. When I was fortunate enough to
finally score, it was guaranteed embarrassment. Thats what brought
me to this site. Not knowing how to carry on a convo cant be the
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Visit site->
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the kitchen he wanted to boff her.
Satisfaction he tried to proffer.
She replied, "I am sold,
But the floor is too cold."
So he made her a counter-offer.
_______________________________
I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,
Double-jointed she was I suppose.
And I watched fascinated,
As Rose masturbated;
Herself with the tip of her nose.
_______________________________
There's a fire at a circus. A man
Sees the flames and devises a plan.
The heat is in tents,
The pressure immense.
He is doing asbestos he can.
(Kirk Miller)
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A king's jester one day found his majesty bent over the washbowl,
engaged in his morning ablutions. In a spirit of fun the jester
gave the king a resounding slap on the most exposed part of his
sacred person. Deeply enraged, his majesty ordered the instant
execution of the audacious joker, but finally consented to pardon
him, if he should make an apology more outrageous than the original
insult. The condemned humorist thought a moment, and offered his
apology: Your
Majesty will forgive me; I did not know it was you. I thought it
was the Queen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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