Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It has only been getting up into the low 70's each day and it seems
every other day or so a thunderstorm hits us. Out in the country
people
are getting a second cutting of clover hay off and the grain is
ripening in the fields. Hopefully with Labor Day approaching we will
get the usual warm dry spell for a week or so, allowing me to finish
all of the things I had planned to do before winter gets here. I
stopped
out at Nancy's house today and they were doing a little yard
cleaning
prior to an insurance inspection. Nancy had a Dodge motor home
that has been sitting behind the garage since before they started
rebuilding her house after the fire. It had sunk way down into the
clay over the years and they hadn't been able to move it with a Jeep
a few night's before so they enlisted Don and his Case tractor to
move
it. I didn't volunteer for the task because besides steering and
brakes
being rusted up there was a hornet's nest in the driver's window
and the Don had a cooler full of beer. It took a few pulls to get
it rolling
and then Scott jumped out of the motor home with the steering wheel
in
his hands. After it broke off in his hands he decided to get out of
there
which was probably the best idea.
It was great however sitting around with family and friends and
everybody
joking and telling stories just has we have done for decades. The
parents
are gone as is brother Pat and we know that Nancy may only have a
year
or so left with us but it is still important to get together and not
to dwell
on life's miseries and mysteries but instead build memories that
will
have to last us till we can be together again.
I hope you enjoy the chips and your weekend .... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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On the first day of Kindergarten, Johnnie's
teacher asked the students to count to 50.
Many of them did very well, some getting
as high as 37. But Johnnie did extremely well;
he made it to 100 with only 3 mistakes.
At home he told his Dad how well he had done.
Dad told him, "That's because you are from
Texas, son."
The next day, in language class, the teacher asked
students to recite the alphabet. Some made it to the
letter "k" with only one mistake, but Johnnie outdid
them again. He made it all the way through, missing
only the letter "m".
That evening he once again brought his Dad up to
date and Dad explained to him, "That's because you
are from Texas, son".
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were
taking showers. Johnnie noted that, compared to the
other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed".
This confused him. That night, he asked his Dad,
"Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times
bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Texas?"
"No, son, "explained Dad, "That's because you're 18!"
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here's trouble
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Short Chips
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I went for piano lessons when I was a young man... I loved the
finger exercises, but then my instructor would put on her clothes
and say the lesson was over. It wasn't until many years later that
I discovered that I was going into the wrong building... The Music
school was right next door to a bordello... I can't play squat on
the piano... but boy, can I finger!
There was a club in New York called the G-Spot. If you can't find
it you can't come.
One day while a man was working he cut off the end of his finger
while panicking he calls his wife and says, "Honey, I need to go to
the hospital. I cut off my finger." The wife replies "Your whole
finger?"
The man replies "No, the one next to it."
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to
her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She
jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and
explained, "I'm sorry,. I thought you were my wife. You look
exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable
asshole!" she screamed. "That's really odd," he muttered, "You even
sound exactly like her."
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Golf Chips
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Four old duffers are pounding their balls around the links
when a sudden thunderstorm pops up. >>ZAP<< A bolt of
lightning kills all four in one stroke. Soon, they find
themselves at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter is all upset, papers flying in the air, "You guys
aren't supposed to be here yet. It's not your time! I'll
tell ya what...I can put you all back on Earth to finish out
your days, but you have to decide how. That is, everyone
down there already knows you're all dead, so I can't send
you back as who you were. Figure it out amongst yourselves
and I'll check back with you later."
Some time goes by and St. Peter returns, "Well, have you
decided how you want to go back?"
One of the golfers steps forward, "St. Peter, we've decided
that we all want to go back to earth as lesbians."
"LESBIANS!" St. Peter shouts, "why lesbians?"
"Well, sir, we all love to eat pussy and we wanna hit from
the red tees."
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Dog Chips
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A man wanted an attack dog to protect his business, so he
visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs.
The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the
biggest,meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the
owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came
upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing
at the cage.
"He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.
"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something
better in mind for you."
They continued walking around the premises, and after a while
they found an even larger,meaner dog than the first.
He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire
on his cage.
"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to
earlier."
"Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for
you."
The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly
large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his ass.
He did not seem to notice as the men approached.
"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.
The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed.
"This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like an attack
dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his ass!"
"I know, I know," said the owner. "But you see, he just ate a
lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Irish Chips
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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy
said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man
and tapped him on the shoulder. 'Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was
a sissy.' 'Oh really, hmm, didn't know that.' Puzzled, the English
man walked back to his buddies. 'I told him St.
Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!' 'You just don't know how to
set him off, watch and learn.' The second English man walked over
and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder.
'I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!' 'Oh, wow, I didn't
know that, thank you.' Shocked beyond belief, the English man went
back to his buddies.
'Your right, he is unshakable!' The third English man said, 'No, no,
no, I will really piss him off, you just watch.' The English man
walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said,
'I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!' 'Yeah, that's what
your buddies were trying to tell me.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Forever My Darling
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A Little Lamb
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Overseer
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Movie Links
Mum
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My New Country Song
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Message Chips
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My son often leaves yellow sticky messages for me on my computer
monitor, things like "I need pencils" or "PTA wants money"... All
manner of semi-important things I generally need reminding of get
posted this way. It works. I usually take care of the message right
away, or by days end if at all possible. One day I went to the
computer and found a yellow Post-it with the following note; "My
Dixie wrecked." I read it a few times but whatever it meant refused
to sink in. I tried putting it out of my mind but it kept coming
back. My Dixie wrecked, my dixie wrecked... Wierd how that puzzling
note refused to leave my awareness.... It would go quietly to the
back of my mind and play over and over but never would it leave. I'd
bring it to the front of my attention and review it closely; My
Dixie wrecked... Hmmm....I got up for coffee and muttered to myself;
"My Dixie wrecked" I wonder what that means? I even said it out loud
a few times; "My Dixie wrecked! What's the meaning of that? I even
asked my Mom; I said to her; "My Dixie wrecked. What does that mean?
I'd change the accents; my-dixie-Wrecked. My-dixie-wrecked.
My-Dixie-wrecked. It was driving me nuts. My son finally got home
from school and I blurted out... "My Dicks Erect! What the hell does
that mean?" My son is such a creep. Sometimes I think he's even
better than me.
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Toon Chips
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candle new scent
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candy
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cane
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can man
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can opener
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a woman from Timbuktu
who was still a virgin at twenty two
till her boyfriend came along
and pumped her all night long
now she's at home with a baby named lulu.
~~~~
There once was this guy called Mike,
who met this chick he really liked,
He tried to get near,
and she gave him a sneer,
cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.
~~~~
There once was a man from Peru
Who had a lot of growing up to do,
He'd ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22
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Check out the deals at
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Parting Chips
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Paul and I were talking one day when Paul says, "I went to see the
doctor the other day for that pain in my back."
"So what happened?" I asked.
"Well, he ran a bunch of tests, gave me some pills and sent me home.
Told me to stay in bed for a week. He also told me to sit down
whenever I had to pee. Can you imagine that? A grown man having to
sit to pee?"
"Why would he want you to sit to pee?" I asked.
"Well", said Paul, "With my bad back, he doesn't want me picking up
anything too big."
buffalo says I know the feeling.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1862
Visitors and Katie
Diana and the dogs came to Guthrie to pack and help our son-in-law
load two pickup loads and a horse trailer full of items yesterday.
Diana had to leave that night and when it was time to go, Rudy
jumped
in the car, Val jumped in the car, Sandi jumped in the car.but no
sign of
Katie.
BJ: I know you have to go so I will find her and bring her with me
tomorrow evening.
Diana: Okay, well we will see you then.
Diana and the dogs leave in the car, as they leave BJ sees a shadow
figure behind a tree.
BJ looks and it is Katie she is wearing a mask.
BJ: Katherine what are you doing?
Katie grinning from ear to ear: I just wanted to stay with you
father.
BJ: All you had to do was ask. Come on in and let's watch some TV
and pop some popcorn.
Katie: Can I take off this silly mask?
BJ: Of course ole girl.
Katie: Can I sleep with you tonight?
BJ: I would be disappointed if you didn't.
The herd
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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