Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was lying in bed last night last night watching Pawn Stars
and Buffy was playing on my two computers in the corner
when Eva came running in and said something that I couldn't
understand and sent her to Buffy and Buffy listened and told
her to go play. A couple of minutes later Eva was back with the
same story and Buffy sent her off and a couple of minutes later
she came right back. As Buffy sent her away I asked Buffy what
she wanted. Buffy told me that Eva was saying something about
grandma and toilet paper and about that time Buffy remembered
she hadn't replaced the roll earlier and finally brought a roll in
so her mom could get off of the toilet.
Eva was doing exactly what grandma asked, we just had trouble
deciphering it. Lassie couldn't have done a better job. Even though
she had getting help for someone who fell down a well, you never
once heard her bark that mom was stuck in the outhouse because
someone had used the last page of the Sears-Roebuck catalog.
The thermostat is set for 65 degrees and this morning it kicked the
furnace on. I woke up this morning to the sweet chalky smell of
dead skin cells and dust mites being barbecued in the furnace.
Gross, but at least it won't be as bad when we have to use it in a
month or two.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny and his friends were talking about condoms in school
one day. Basically he knew where they were used and their purpose,
but not much more than that. So he decided to go to a local drug
store to buy a few in order to learn more about them. As to not
waste too much time, he asked the pharmacist if he had any condoms
for sale.
The pharmacist replied, why yes, we have them three for a dollar.
Johnny replied, I'll take three then.
When the pharmacist tallied the amount the register, the total came
to one-dollar and six cents.
Johnny said, wait a minute, what's the six cents for, I thought you
told me they were three for a dollar.
The pharmacist replied... that's the tax we put on them.
Little Johnny said, oohh, I thought they stayed on by themselves.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
relax dear
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human rights
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Woman Chips
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One day, the Lord decided to make a companion for Adam. He summoned
St. Peter and told him of his decision. He told St. Peter that he
wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different,
and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure. The Lord
said he would call this being a woman.
So St. Peter went about creating this being which was similar to
man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could
provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished
creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The
Lord.
"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job," said
The Lord.
"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter. "I am now ready to
provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to the being, this ..
woman. I require your assistance on this matter, Lord."
"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive,
more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's,"
said The Lord.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I put in her
hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The Lord.
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?"
inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet, so they benefit
from having less nerve endings there. Do the same for woman," said
the Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals?" inquired
St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra
pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman," said The
Lord.
"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord. "Screw it, give her ten thousand! I
want her to scream my name!"
Well....... now you know!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Mouse Chips
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Back in her drinking days, Donna walks into a bar and asks for a
beer and a shot of whiskey. A few minutes later the bartender hands
her the order. Donna drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey
into her pocketbook. She orders another round of the same, so the
bartender takes Donna's two glasses and refills them. Once again,
Donna drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into her
pocketbook.
The bartender says, "Look Miss, I don't mean to bug you, but my
curiosity is killing me. Why do you keep pouring the shots into your
pocketbook?"
Donna says, "It's none of your damn business! And if you be givin'
me a hard time, Ill be breakin' yer face!"
Suddenly a mouse pops his head out of Donna's pocketbook and says,
"And that goes for your fuckin' cat too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Rating Chips
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Three men are walking down the street. One is from California, one
is from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.
A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California states
"She's about an 8."
The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."
The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."
The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other
and say, "Well, she was not that good looking."
All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.
The man from California exclaims "9"
The man from New York cries "8.5"
The man from St. Louis says "2"
The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all
types."
Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.
The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"
The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"
The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell is
wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"
The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the
Budweiser method."
The man from California asks "What is that?"
The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Picnic Chips
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A young intern was making a morning visit in
the maternity pre-partum ward at the local hospital.
He stopped at the first bed and said: "What is
the expected due date for your baby?"
"June 8th." she answered.
He went on to the next bed and repeated his
question.
"June 8th." came the reply.
He asked the woman in the next bed the same
question.
Again the response was "June 8th."
After getting the same answer seven times in
a row, he found the next patient asleep.
He turned to the woman he had just questioned,
and asked: "Does Mrs. W. here also expect her
baby to be born on June 8th?"
"I don't know," was the reply. "You see, she didn't
go to our company's Labor Day picnic."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Papa's Bible
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/B/P_B.html
Marlene/Flute/Amazing-Grace
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John w/ Country Churches around the world
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carolyn w/ Could I Fall In Love ~ Elvis Presley
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Surfin Surfari
Bridge Walk 2010
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Product Manuals
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What's for Dinner ? Via Wesley
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USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
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Freaky Art Vans
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
My Life As A Blog
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QuickTime Alternative
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PIXresizer
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Zoo Animals
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Movie Links
Jamacos
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsdw.htm
Just Walk It ff Sissy
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The Vasectomy Song
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Kangaroo Court
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Kilted Scotsman
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Robbery
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Roll Over Donner Pass
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Russian Bar Trio
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Snow Plow
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Sex Chips
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This is a sex test for old people.
The object is to see how fast can you guess the words.
Hey, who said old people don't think about sex!!!
How fast can you guess these words?
1. B o o _ s
2. P u _ s _
3. F _ _ k
4. P _ n _ s
5. _ _ n d o m
6. _ _ g i n a
7. _ i c k
8. _ o r n
9. _ i m p
10. _ u m p
11. _ u c k
12. _ e x M e _
Answers Below, Try guessing first. Don't cheat
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
Answers:
1. Books
2. Pulse
3. Fork
4. Pants
5. Random
6. Angina
7. Sick
8. Corn
9. Limp
10. Lump
11. Luck
12. Tex Mex
You got all them wrong DIDN'T YOU?
Tom Roberts
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Toon Chips
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call ahead
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call girl
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call the paramedic
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calorie1
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camel toe
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Limerick Chips
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Juan's wife's stories--never a borer.
For her cooking he'll really adore 'er.
His one complaint deep?
The sounds when you sleep!
You're a hell of a noisy señora."
There was a young laundress named Springer,
Who went on to become a good singer...
She acquired her range,
In a manner most strange;
When she caught both her tits in the wringer!
- - - - - - - - - -
There once was a goddess named Venus,
Whose disarming was awful and heinous,
For her name didn't rhyme,
With sweet words such as "thyme,"
So Zeus punished her for writing "penis."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Check out the deals at
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Parting Chips
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There was a very unusual hospital where one of the main treatments
was that the nurses would take the male patients home and sleep with
them. But there was one patient, Rob, no one wanted to take him
home. He was a small man, and he had tattooed on his penis the word
SHORTY.
Well, finally, Valerie, feels sorry for him and takes him home and
sleeps with him. She comes back to work the next day smiling. The
other nurses ask what she could possibly be so happy about after
sleeping with a guy with SHORTY written on his penis.
"Yes," replies Valerie, "but when he becomes aroused, it says,
SHORTY'S RESTAURANT AND PIZZERIA."
"Wow!" they say.
"ORDERS TO TAKE OUT," Valerie continues. "ALL BAKING DONE ON
PREMISES...ESTABLISHED 1922...PARTIES ARE OUR SPECIALTY."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1860
You Can't Keep a Good or Bad Dog Down Ding Dong!
BJ: I will get it.
BJ opens the door… Katie: Avon calling.
BJ: How did you get outside? Did you pole vault?
Katie: Hrumpt! Of course not. I promised you I would not.
BJ: Come in and we will talk later.
BJ goes outside and looks around the backyard. Hidden behind a tree
is a small shovel, an army issue style.
BJ: Aha! That is how she is doing it.
BJ Goes back into the house.
BJ: Katie I have confiscated your shovel.
Katie: Awww… I just got it in the mail from the army surplus store.
BJ: Promise me no more digging your way out.
Katie: I promise.
The herd
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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