Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The temperature has dropped ten degrees since yesterday
and with it the humidity so I took Sandy and went to pick up
groceries with the pick-up. It was her first chance to ride in it
and we were admiring the sound system that GM had put in it.
Unlike the people who drive by my house I like to listen to
multiple channels of sound so I can tell that the drums are over
there and the lead guitar is over there and the singer is in the
center. Instead with these people, the thumping that is making
the wheels bounce is the drums and that distortion that just
blew the windshield out was the singer and that loud squealing
is either a guitar or a bad water pump. I guess it's part of
growing old that you want to enjoy the music and save what
little bit of your hearing you have left..
Anyhow hope you enjoy the chips ..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
WnW_BigList
Adult orientated, Semi-Moderated humor list.
Filled with jokes and toons, pix n info, Basically anything but
SPAM!
ABSOLUTELY NO GRAPHIC, KIDDIE or BESTALITY nudity ALLOWED
But toons of any nature are acceptable.
To access the home pages files n folders you must have a PROFILE
With a legal AGE of 18 or older!
We are a fun loving group, promising smiles and laughter for all!
Sign up today and see what we got!
Invite your friends as well, the more the merrier!
Visit group on web at:
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School Chips
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Two high school sweethearts had been dating for four years, they had
enjoyed losing their virginity together, and they were inseparable
until they graduated.
They had planned on going to college together, but he was accepted
to a school on the west coast, and she was accepted to a school on
the east coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to
spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be
home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return his letters.
Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around.
He didn't take this very well, so he increased the number of phone
calls, letters and e-mails in an attempt to save their relationship.
She became very annoyed with this when she started seeing a new
fellow, and she wanted to get the old boyfriend off her back, so she
took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's
unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading,
"I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone!"
Needless to say, he was heartbroken, and very ticked off. So,...
he wrote a note on the back of her photo:
"Dear Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time at college.
Please send more money!"
...and then mailed the picture to her parents.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Reality Chips
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Youngest son asked his father: "Daddy what is the difference between
"potential" and "reality"?
Dad: I will show you, Dad turned to his wife and ask her: "Would you
sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 Million Dollars? Wife answers: "Yes of
Course! I would never waste such an opportunity to be a
millionaire"
Then Dad asked his daughter if she would sleep with Will Smith for 2
million dollars?
Daughter: "Wow! Yes Yes! I will, that's my fantasy"
So Dad turned to his elder son and asks him: Son, will you sleep
with Denzel Washington for 1 Million dollars? Elder Son replied: "
Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 Million dollars, I
would never hesitate!"
So the Father turns to his younger son and said: "You see son,
"POTENTIALLY" we are sitting on 4 Million dollars, But in "REALITY"
we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chief Chips
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One day a big Indian Chief goes to his local pharmacy. He goes up
to the clerk and says, "Last night me fuck squaw, left nut go
'oomph', right nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph', condom go BOOM!"
Now the clerk was quite impressed by this sexual feat so he grabbed
some Trojans for professionals and tells the Chief to come back and
tell him how they work for him.
The next day, the big Chief comes back to the pharmacy, goes right
up to the clerk and gruffly says, "Last night me fuck squaw, left
nut go 'oomph', right nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph', condom go
BOOM!"
The clerk thinks to himself, "Damn, this guy must have some kind of
super ejaculation going on." So he goes into the back of the store
and gets a prototype condom for the Chief. The description on the
box reads, "This is a joint effort between Goodyear and Michelin.
This condom is steel belted and should only be used in extreme
circumstances."
The clerk hands the condom to the Chief and tells him about the
special condoms, and to report back to him on how well they work for
him.
The next day, the Chief comes back on crutches with a shotgun under
his arm. He storms up to the clerk. The clerk is thinking, "Oh
Shit!
The condom must not have worked and he's really pissed."
The Chief looks at the clerk and yells, "Last night me fuck squaw!!
Left nut go 'oomph', right nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph, condom go
'oomph, left nut go 'BOOM'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Revival Chips
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On the first night he pulled his revival meeting tent into the
Southern town, Preacher Bob had a full house. After a long, rousing
and sweaty revival meeting, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I
know that some of you have been he'in and she'in without the benefit
of the sacrament of marriage. Those of you guilty of this grievous
sin are not welcome back in this tent until you have gotten right
with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent is only half full.
After going through the same long, rousing and sweaty revival
meeting, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that some of
you have been he'in and he'in without the benefit of the sacrament
of marriage.
Those of you guilty of this grievous sin are not welcome back in
this tent until you have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent in only one quarter full.
After going through the long, rousing and sweaty revival meeting the
third night, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that some
of you have been she'in and she'in without the benefit of the
sacrament of marriage. Those of you guilty of this grievous sin are
not welcome back in this tent until you have gotten right with
Jesus."
The next night there is only one man left in the audience. It was
ol' Klem, a middle aged virgin due to his lack of sex appeal, even
by hillbilly standards.
Preacher Bob says, "Now brother, you should feel proud that you are
still able to come to this tent tonight. I want you to testify!
Testify how it is that you are able to join me tonight in this holy
tent!"
Klem responds, "Shit preacher, you didn't say nothin' bout me-in and
me-in!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Church Chips
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Jordan, my 3-year-old son, has expressed an insatiable curiosity
about human anatomy. This completely innocent curiosity recently
led to the most embarrassing moment of my life!
A few weeks ago, our family chose to sit in the front row at Mass on
a Sunday. During the homily, when the priest was speaking, Jordan
decided that it would be a good time to ask questions which he
deemed appropriate. Being 3, Jordan has not learned the difference
between whispering and speaking out loud.
Jordan (loud): "Mom, look at my penis, it's standing up!"
Mom (whispering, attempting to distract): "That's interesting, dear.
Let's read this book I brought for you about how Jesus loves all the
little children."
Jordan (louder): "But Mom, I can't get my penis to go back down.
It's coming out of my pants! Look, Dad!"
Dad: "Jordan, be quiet, we're at Mass!"
Jordan (upset now): "Mom, look at my penis!"
Justine (my 9-year-old daughter, whispering agitatedly): "Mom, make
him be quiet, take him out!"
Mom (continuing the calm and collected facade):
"Jordan, look at these great blocks Mom brought for you to build
with."
Jordan (louder): "Mom, why is it sticking up?" Then, without waiting
for an answer, Jordan began talking to his penis.
Jordan (very loud, in a commanding voice): "Penis, go back down
where you belong and stop bugging me!"
At this point, I was trying to grab Jordan to take him out, and at
the same time cover his mouth. I heard chuckling and laughter from
the pews around us, and a distinct break in the priest's homily as
he pondered this unexpected interruption. My daughter was hanging
her head and shaking it, and my husband mouthed the words "Get him
out of here."
My face was three shades of red as I led Jordan out down the long
aisle and listened to him continually repeat the same inquiry: "Mom,
why won't it go down?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Weep Not When I Am Risen
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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advantage of this:
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Gym
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Handling Road Rage
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Home & Garden TV
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Hot Tub Mishap
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How To Get A Divorce
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McRonalds
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My First Rescue
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Never Underestimate An Old Girl
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Obongo 08
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Oeufs Poussins
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Thumb Chips
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Little Lucy loved sucking her thumb so much. She was now five years
old but hadn´t stopped the bad habit. With an effort to stop her
from this bad practice, Lucy´s mother lied to her that her stomach
will swell and will finally burst if she doesn´t stop the habit.
The lie scared little Lucy that she actually stopped the habit
immediately.
A month later, expectant Mrs. Blecker pays them a visit. When Lucy
comes in to greet her she stops first to stare at Mrs. Blecker,
then goes ahead with her greeting. Mrs. Blecker notices the
hesitation and asks, "Hi, Lucy! I guess you are wondering where
I´ve been, aren´t you?"
The little girl answers, "Not exactly, Mrs. Blecker, I know what
you´ve been doing and you better stop it fast."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
coca cola
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big wood
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
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A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
There was a young fellow named Pell
Who didn't like cunt very well.
He would finger and fuck one,
But never would suck one---
He just couldn't get used to the smell.
There was a young girl from Seattle
Who got her kicks sucking off cattle,
'til a bull from the South
Popped a load in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.
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Check out the deals at
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charles was taking his out-of-town buddy Clyde on a walking tour of
the city. Clyde saw a good-looking girl and asked Charles if he
knew her.
"Yes, that's Jacqueline -- one hundred and twenty dollars."
A little further along, Clyde spotted an even more stunning girl and
asked if Charles happened to know her also.
"Yes, that Rosalynn -- one hundred and eighty dollars."
After the process was repeated twice more, Clyde remarked, "Good
Heavens! Aren't there any respectable women in this city?"
"Of course!" replied Charles, highly offended. "But you couldn't
afford them either."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1858
Sandi, the Rascal
Ding Dong!
BJ: I will get it.
BJ opens the door and there is Sandi.
BJ: How did you get outside?
Sandi just grins and heads on in the house.
Diana: Maybe I left the door open or something.
Later that evening…
Ding Dong!
Diana: My turn.
Diana opens the door and it is Sandi again.
Diana: How is she getting outside?
The other dogs are snickering…
BJ: Okay Sandi how do you do it?
Sandi: Well when you do not close the door to the garage very well,
I can open that door and go into the garage. When I get into the
garage,
I have found that I can stand on my back legs and with my front paws
hit the garage door opener and open the garage door and the rest is
history. Ta-dah!
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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