THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I will never put off until tomorrow,
what I can forget about forever.
__________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, And a time
to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
--Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
blame everything
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j040.html
excessive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j041.html
too much fiber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j042.html
don't see what you want?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j043.html
but you said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j044.html
hig blood pressure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j045.html
ignore him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j046.html
insult to injury
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j047.html
no groom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j048.html
mom was right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j049.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
an irate mother deer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10017.html
FRIENDSHIP OR LOVE
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10018.html
a fear of spiders, don't watch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10019.html
put a smile on your face
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10020.html
ahhhhhh!!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10021.html
an old one-Cagney and Hope
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10022.html
_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
nice lookin lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd304.html
strange landscapes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd305.html
guncatalog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd306.html
God
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd307.html
______________
A mathematician and a physicist agree to take part in an
experiment.Both enter the experiment in a state of hunger,
and the mathematician is chosen to go first.He is put in a
chair in a large empty room. His favorite meal, perfectly
prepared, is placed at the other end of the room.
The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair.
Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway
between its current location and the meal."
The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust.
"What?! I'm not going through this! You know I'll never reach the food!"
And he gets up and storms out.
The psychologist then ushers the physicist in. He explains
the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts to drool.
The psychologist is a bit confused. "You DO realize that
you'll never reach the food... don't you?"
The physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I'll get
close enough for all practical purposes!"
____________
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She
dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun and proceeded to
scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know
how to use it! Get out of the car you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and
ran like mad. Whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to
load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the
driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the
ignition. She tried and tried, to no avail. And then it dawned on
her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five
spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove
to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in
two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses,
curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed. AH ......... SENIOR MOMENTS !!!!
____________
Jenny had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was
constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet.."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after
dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away..
Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she
stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in
his birthday suit.Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore,
but down there I am still in mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.
The following night was the same- she stood there wearing the black
panties, and he was in his birthday suit - but now he was wearing
a black condom.She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences.."
_____________
How fast can you guess these words?
1. BOO_S
2. _ _NDOM
3. F_ _K
4. P_N_S
5. PU_S_
6. S_X
Answers:
1. BOOKS
2. RANDOM
3. FORK
4. PANTS
5. PULSE
6. SIX
You got all 6 wrong.... didn't you?
_____________
Old Jack was in his club on a Friday night when he pulled a $100,000
jackpot on a poker (slot) machine. When the club manager was
presenting him with the cheque, he asked Jack how he was going to
spend the money."Well", said Jack, "first I'll spend $25,000 at
racecourse, and I'll spend $25,000 on beer, wine and whisky
and another $25,000 on loose, fast women."
"Goodness!", said the manager. "Then what are you going to spend the
other $25,000 on?"
"Ah ... geez," said old Jack, scratching his head, " I'll probably
just bloody squander that."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Strip Poker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81824.htm
Sumsing Turbo 3000
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81825.htm
Sure Lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81826.htm
Swan Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81827.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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