Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Another power outage today, that makes 5 in the past month.
I know one happened when it was windy out and today's outage
was caused by a contractor hitting a power cable but I am
worried that one of these days they are going to kill all of my
computers. I do have several UPS boxes but they don't have
enough capacity left to run monitor, cpu, phone etc long enough
to do a shut down but at least they do condition the power
which has prevented hardware damage. The old owners of the
utility were at least helpful when you called to say your power
was out and usually gave a reason in the newspaper. Oh well
at least it gave everyone on the block a reason to go outside
and say hello to each other and I ran to the store and picked up
sodas and a few other things and the lights came back on just as I
pulled into the back yard.
Eva and the girl next door were out drawing on the sidewalk while
I was gone. I don't like it but I put up with it, so what does Buffy
do?
She goes out and buys her a Crayola Sidewalk spray paint gun. It
is battery powered and has blue and pink paint in that I hope washes
off with water because I know I am going to end up with the house or
the truck painted. So far though I haven't picked up batteries for
it
but eventually someone is going to pull a set from something around
here and I'll have a pink Chevy.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
"MUSICAL MAGIC"
is all about sharing Music of all Genre!!!
Everyone is welcome to post their favorite Singer, Song, Midi, Music
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This is a SHARING GROUP
Share YOUR MUSIC and you can share other members music.
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Mixed Chips
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A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her
to push. She does and the baby's head pops out.
The doctor says, "Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes."
To which she replies "Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty
good, so I decided to give them a try.
The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the
baby's body comes out.
"Holy Shit, your baby has a white body," the doctor says.
"Yeah I heard them white men were pretty good so I decided to give
them a try," she said.
The doctor shrugs it off again and tells her to push again and that
will be it. So she does and the legs come out.
"Holy Shit! Your baby has black legs," the doctor said. "Yeah I
heard them black men were pretty good so I decided to give them a
try,"
she said.
So the doctor shrugs it off again and ties the umbilical cord and
slaps the baby on the ass, it starts to cry.
The doctor turns to the woman and asks, "How are you going to deal
with a baby who has slanted eyes, white body, and black legs?"
The woman replies "I'm just glad it didn't bark!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tired Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy goes to the doctor and complains of constant fatigue.
The doctor examines him and says "I can find absolutely nothing
wrong with you. Everything seems in normal working order, but I
wonder how often you're making love to your wife."
"About 3-4 times a day, doctor."
"Well, that may explain it. You must be 'hot to trot,' as they say."
"I guess so, doctor, but then there's the maid. She gets really
upset if I don't come to her room every night."
"Hmmm, well, aside from your wife and the maid, anything else?"
"Uh, yes. To be honest, I have to see my mistress several times a
week, and then there's the gardener's wife who likes me to make love
to her while her husband is busy planting flowers.
"Is that all?"
"Uh, no, doctor, you see, there's the young chauffeur, whom I can't
pay very much, so I have to accommodate him several times a week."
"My word!" says the doctor, "your wife, the maid, your mistress, the
gardener's wife, the chauffeur... and you wonder why you're tired!
Well, there's your answer."
"Thank God," says the guy, "I was afraid that I was jerking off too
much."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two necrophiliacs are walking down the street when they pass a
funeral home. One turns to the other and says: "Hey, you wanna go
in for a couple of cold ones?"
Two gays are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side
of the road licking his prick. "I sure wish I could do that," said
the one gay. To which the other replied, "Don't you think you ought
to pet him first??"
Bob's internist referred him to a female urologist. When she came
into the examining room, Bob was overwhelmed by how beautiful and
unbelievably sexy she was. The Doctor told Bob, "You have to stop
masturbating." When Bob asked why, she replied, "Because I'm trying
to examine you..."
At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the
class, and she discovered Little Johnny with a cat up his pants.
She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?" Little Johnny
started crying.
"I woke up this morning to hear the mailman tell my Mummy 'I'm gonna
eat your pussy today'!"
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Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher was giving a lesson in sex education to
her fourth grade class. After showing a brief film
and reading the lesson, she asked if anyone had
any questions.
One little boy held up his hand shyly. "Teacher, I
have a boy dog and he jumps over the fence and
wrestles with this girl dog and she has puppies.
Is this sex?"
"Yes, that's sex," the teacher replied.
A little girl raised her hand. "Teacher, I have a girl
cat and there's a boy cat that jumps on her out in
the yard and they wrestle. Then she has kittens.
Is that sex?"
"Yes, that's sex," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny then raised his hand. "Teacher, the
other night I saw a movie where three guys wrestled
with Sylvester Stallone. Is that sex?"
"No, that was not sex," the teacher replied.
"Good," Little Johnny replied. "I always thought it
would take more than three guys to screw Sylvester
Stallone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Water Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad and Dave, having made some serious money with booming wool
prices, decided to spend a bit of the proceeds down in the Big
Smoke. They booked into their hotel, a commodious Edwardian pile
not far from the CBD. They repaired to the saloon bar for a quite a
few jugs, and continued their piss-up well into the evening.
Finally they retired to their room with its huge four-poster. Soon
snores filled the room. Suddenly Dad woke up, shook his recumbent
son and shouted, 'Dave, wake up! I'm as thirsty as buggery. Nip
down to the bathroom, there's a good lad, and bring me back a glass
of water.' Dave did as he was bidden and came back with a brimming
tumbler. Dad gulped it in one swallow and said, 'Geez, that's
better
- now for a bit more shut-eye.
After an hour or so he woke again and made the same request of Dave.
The procedure was repeated several more times. But on the last
occasion Dave returned without the water.
'Where's me drink, son?' 'Gee Dad, I'm sorry,' Dave replied, 'but
when I went down to the bathroom, I couldn't get any. Some silly
old bastard was sitting on the bloody water supply.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Key
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Struggles
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Thoughts For Today
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John w/ 16 Tons
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Driving Test
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From Russia With Love
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Calorie Counter
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El Chupacabra
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
World Of Big Cats
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Movie Links
Saddam The Unseen Video
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Santa Shopping
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Saudi
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Scotsman's Song
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If my nose was running money
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Important Message
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Impossible
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Jet Engine
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John McCain
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very
excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give
a talk onproductive salesmanship. Little Mary led off: "I sold girl
scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach
was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that
approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and
I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of
current events." "Very good, Sally," said the teacher. Eventually,
it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little
Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of
cash on the teacher's desk."$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the
teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Tooth brushes," said
Little Johnny. "Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you
possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I
found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a
Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They
all said the same thing. Hey, this tastes like shit! Then I would
say.............." It is shit." Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bad cat
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cat batteries
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cat doggy style
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cat enlarger
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Threesome Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pros & Cons of Having a Threesome:
Pros:
1. It can get really weird
2. Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings
3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13
5. You get to watch your best friends making love
6. You get to get watched making love
7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be
experienced to be believed
8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison
shopping for condoms
10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies
without actually doing anything about it
12. Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a
problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
13. Three-person showers are fantastic
14. Three-person naked belly laughs are even better
15. Three-person kisses are best
Cons:
1. It can get really weird
2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
3. Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off
4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the
bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt
5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows
6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends
like
7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them
8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your
notebooks
9. Morning breath multiplied by 3
10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or
want
11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends
you didn't suspect or want
12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of
relationships
13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
14. Sorting clothes quickly when the boyfriend/spouse walks in
assumes comical proportions
15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiger Direct is your Back-To-School Headquarters
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife and her husband attended a very important business
party thrown by her boss.
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her
husband, "Have I ever
told you how handsome and sexy and totally irresistible
to all women you are?"
"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.
"Then what the hell gave you that stupid fucking idea
at the party?!" she yelled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Talk To Hot Women
I must admit, a woman is a mans best friend.
While I was in college, I did the typical guy thing.
Went to bars, and tried to hang out with chicks; but actually
talking to them was another story.
When I was fortunate enough to finally score, it was guaranteed
embarrassment.
Thats what brought me to this site.
Not knowing how to carry on a convo cant be the most popular thing
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Now that Ive tried how to talk 2 hot women, actually talking is no
longer my biggest worry.
Will she be able to handle this my monster confidence? Thats what I
ask myself now.
Thank You !
Jeff, Phoenix, AZ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From BJ in Oz (Oklahoma and Kansas)
When reading the newspaper in Wichita, it says that the
Republicans in Kansas are leading in every race in the state
and by double digits. I am following the races in Oklahoma
and it looks like a rout in Oklahoma also.
BJ in Oz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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