THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Try not to become a man of success,
but rather to become a man of value.
~ Albert Einstein
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
As a gun advocate, I just need to take a minute
to make a public service announcement:
As a gun owner and shooter you must pay heed to
the safety aspects of shooting !!!
...the first thing I noticed is that she's not
wearing any ear or eye protection.!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________________
THE COMICS
farmers daughter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j050.html
I never knew
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j051.html
tail gators
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j052.html
transformer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j053.html
black suspenders
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j054.html
patent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j055.html
wow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j056.html
roadrunner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j057.html
jollly green giant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j058.html
don't be upset
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j059.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jet Fuelled School Bus Clocks 367mph
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10023.html
Largest Crash in NASCAR History
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10024.html
singing pipi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10025.html
sheepy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10026.html
upskirt shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10027.html
cookies for sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10028.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
animal lovers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd308.html
a new virus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd309.html
Russian rednecks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd310.html
An 85-year-old couple had been married for 60 years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by
because they watched their pennies.Though not young,
they were both in very good health, largely due to the
wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the
last decade.One day their good health didn't help when they
went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending
them off to Heaven.They reached the Pearly Gates and Saint
Peter escorted them inside.. He took them to a beautiful
mansion furnished in gold and fine silks with a fully
stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid
could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven.
This will be your home now."The old man asked Peter how much
all this was going to cost."Why, nothing," Peter replied,
"Remember, this is your reward in Heaven."The old man looked
out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course,
finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free, every day...."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them from
seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven,
it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked."That's the best part," St. Peter
replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever
you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your f*#*ing
bran flakes. We could have been here 10 years ago!"
_________________
A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West
African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the
Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and
On the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the
Penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower,
His wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
String-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string
And a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
Tribal experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."
__________________
Father O'Brian, a young priest, was sent to a very small church
in the backwoods of Alaska. After a couple of years the Bishop
decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.
Father O'Brian said "this is a very lonely job and I don't think
that I could have made it this long without my Rosary and two
martinis each day.""What?!" Exclaimed the Bishop. "You've taken
to drinking? What kind of example is that to set for the community?
This doesn't reflect well on the church.""But the loneliness,
I just couldn't stand it. If it weren't for my Rosary and those
two martinis a day, I would surely have gone insane." The Bishop
thought a moment, then said "I guess that is understandable considering..."
With that the priest said to the Bishop, "Would you like to have a
martini with me?" The Bishop said, "well, I really shouldn't
but...Yes, that would be nice. I think I will, but just this once."
The priest turned around and hollered toward the kitchen,
"Hey Rosary, would you fix us two martinis please?"
___________
Sheila and Samantha were best of friends and tried to do everything
together. Sheila announced that she was going to start a diet to
lose some pounds she had put on recently.
"Great," Samantha exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet. too.
We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I
feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries,
I'll call you first."
"Wonderful," Sheila replied. "I'll go with you."
______________
Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a
used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he
figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was
*like brand-new* and had only been driven by a little old lady
on Sundays. He tried that approach on every prospective buyer,
but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day.
His boss was furious and threatened to fire Bill if he didn't
sell any cars the following day.
The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure
enough he sold three cars.
The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked
what he had done to bring about all these sales.
Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story,
so I told them that the car had previously been owned by your
daughter who only used the backseat."
______________
Why do Sharks swim circles around you before attacking?
Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors
of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said
to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of
our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we
swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing."
And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why
didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?
His wise father replied,
"Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
BUFFALO BILL
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
________________
FUN PAGES
Easy Meal in Africa
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38552&s=n
Pac-Man Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41547&s=n
Fastest Firefly
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41423&s=n
Must Wash Hands
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41409&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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