Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva has been busy this afternoon, parked at the screen door
and asking questions as one of the college boys that rented
the apartment upstairs and his family unloaded a couple of pick-up
loads of furniture and carried it upstairs. It only took 10 showings
this time and the renters were one of the first to
see it. While the ad was running I also managed to rent a
house nearby and sent some people over to look at a place
that will be renting Sept. !st. It is registration week for the
freshman
and transfers and then everything will go full blast after Labor
Day.
Sci-fi channel has been advertising a new movie called Apocalypse
Meteor or such. The scenario is that in three days a meteor is going
to wipe out Los Angeles and no one knows what to do. Here is my
suggestion, call Mexico and tell them they can have Los Angeles
back.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to personally invite you to be a part of the most
comprehensive diabetes community on the web.
DiabeticConnect.com was designed by people who understand what it's
like to deal with the challenges of living with diabetes every day.
We've made it easy to:
Share recipes, advice, and product reviews
Read the latest diabetes news
Watch informative diabetes videos
Connect with new friends who understand diabetes
http://buffaloschips.com/dibcon
Join Now, It's free and you may receive a free glucose meter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Food Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you think of it, there are only two things people need.
You got to have sex. You got to have food. That's it. You don't need
clothing, shelter, or TV. Okay, maybe TV, but otherwise, it's sex
and food.
But for some reason, some people think sex is dirty. Maybe God was a
Republican.
Somebody said, "All right, you want to propagate, go ahead, but only
late at night, with all the doors closed, man on top, once a week,
that's it." But not only can you eat the charred decaying flesh of
other major mammals, you can do it in broad daylight and invite all
your friends to watch: "Hey, Chuck, why don't you come over on
Sunday? We're going to kill a pig, cut him up, burn him, and eat
him. Bring the kids, we'll have a hell of a time."
What if they had been switched around? What if, through a simple
twist of fate, sex was clean but food was dirty? Our entire culture
would change. Food would become a four-letter word.
When people got angry at you, they'd yell out "Oh yeah? Well, food
you. Suck cheese you Popsicle slurper." Punks in passing cars would
flip you the fork. Flashers would have pizzas strapped to their
chests. "Oh my god. It's a pepperoni."
Locker room talk would change.
"Hey, man, how'd you do this weekend?"
"Two burgers and a bag of fries. Crinkle cut."
Garlic would be illegal in most Southern states.
Supermarkets would check I.D.'s and charge admission to the poultry
section. Frederick's of Hollywood would feature peekaboo napkins and
day-of-the-week paper plates. Foreplay would be listed as a menu
selection.
Vice squads would conduct raids on backyard barbecues.
"All right, put down your meat.
Just back away from the buns, mister."
Vegetarians would be prohibited from becoming teachers and a lot of
them would move to the Bay Area. Hookers would become cooks.
You'd be accosted on street corners by plump ladies in Day-Glo
aprons. "Hey, big boy, looking for a hot meal? Wanna crack some
crab?"
Fudamental Christians would make meat and potatoes a religious
tenet. Many sexual positions would be found to be carcinogenic.
Parents would tell their children not to play with their food or
they'll go blind. Kids would remember the first time their mother
caught them marinating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
cave search
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdkfgdf.htm
cclub
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mvnkbgdfg.htm
consent
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjkdfgldf.htm
cell phone vibrator
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjkdgdfkgfd.htm
censorship
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgidfgjdf.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Let us assume," said the professor, "that you are aboard a small
craft alone in the Pacific, and you spot a vessel approaching you
with several thousand sex-starved sailors on board. What would you
do in this situation to avoid any problem?"
"I would attempt to turn my craft in the opposite direction," stated
the brunette.
"I would pass them, trusting my knife and a bottle of mace to keep
me safe," responded the redhead.
"Frankly" murmured the blonde, "I understand the situation, but I
fail to see the problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Create A Permanent Bond To Any Surface Instantly
UGlu is an industrial adhesive with the convenience of tape. Sticks
permanently like glue, but removes easily without residue or mess.
Now you can easily transform a room with crown molding, char rails
and picture all without using nails.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/gluu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is worse than a piano out of tune?
A. An organ that goes flat in the middle of a piece.
1. What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
Answer: Hair balls.
2. How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
Answer: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive
3. What can Life Savers do that men cannot?
Answer: Come in five flavors
4. What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
Answer: Crust
5. Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Answer: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork
6. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
Answer: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing OMG! OMG! OMG !
7. What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough
Boy together?
Answer: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection
8. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
Answer: By sticking your finger in his honey
9. What is the ultimate rejection?
Answer: When your masturbating and your hand falls asleep
10. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
Answer: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
11. What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
Answer: Both can smell it but can't eat it
12. What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
Answer: A blow job with handle bars
13. What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
Answer: A mobile sperm bank.
14. What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
Answer: All you can eat for under a buck.
15. What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?
Answer: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
lightweight binoculars include features such as:
Wide-angle viewing
Shatterproof lenses
Soft rubber eye cups
Comfort neck strap
Center focusing wheel
http://buffaloschips.com/opti
Only $29.95+s/h. Plus you'll receive the bonus Spy Scope & carrying
case!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman was pregnant with triplets.
One of the kids said, "I wish I was a plumber to get rid of all this
water in here".
The second kid said, "I wish I was an electrician so I can get some
light in here."
The third kid said," I wish I was a hunter so I could shoot that god
damn gopher that keeps poppin up in here."
A sergeant and two men from his platoon went to a tavern near the
base one night. The sergeant asked an attractive army nurse to join
him in a game of pool.
The nurse said, "I would rather play with your privates."
An archaeologist discovered a family living in an ancient cave in
France. He was excited by his discovery but he was even more excited
when the husband told him that they had 10 more Commandments that
had been handed down from Moses. They had been written on a
tabletop.
"May I see them, please?" the archaeologist asked.
"Well, I'm sorry," the man said, "but we sanded them off quite a
while ago."
"What did they say?" the archaeologist asked. "Do you remember?"
The man said, "well, I've forgotten most of them, but I do remember
number 17. It said, 'I've changed my mind about adultery'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Superfood Recipes For Diabetics
Are you a Diabetic, struggling with your diet? These Superfoods have
been specially selected to help you beat Diabetes.
Get Yours Now! - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/sufood
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BJ Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A groom passes down the aisle of the church
to take his place by the altar and the best
man notices the groom has the biggest,
brightest smile on his face. The best man
says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be
getting married, but what's up - you look
so excited!"
The groom replies, "I just had the best
blow job I have ever had in my entire life
and I am marrying the wonderful woman who
gave it to me."
Now the bride comes walking down the aisle
and she, too, has the biggest, brightest
smile on her face. The maid of honour notices
this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you
are happy to be getting married, but what's
up - you look so excited!"
The bride replies "I have just given the
last blow job of my entire life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Timeshares can be a huge drain during these
difficult economic times.
Get paid top dollar for your unused property today!
Rent or sell that cash cow today...
Our agents are helpful and friendly!
We give your time share maximum exposure..
http://buffaloschips.com/tshare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/White as Snow
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/A/Wa.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
Marlene/Beulah Land by Squire Parsons
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/Html/Beulahland.html
The Caregiver
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/thecaregiver.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
It's a REAL tour of Hershey's Factory.. Via Peggy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo3-AEO-rR0
International Observe the Moon Night" Next Month Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/25f9599
Color Test
http://www.xrite.com/custom_page.aspx?PageID=77
Odd Things in Wrong Places !
http://tinyurl.com/nybwmz
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Perl Scripts
http://www.freeperlcode.com/guide/
Midi Music
http://www.rockparade.com/body_midi_list.html
Guide To Computer Hardware Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/ktd7os
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses2.html
Kitty Korner
http://community-2.webtv.net/harryswallace/CABOODLERANCHFORCATS/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Streaker Goal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skskwoi.htm
Sunrise Gold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsdkjsdk.htm
Super Gra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjak.htm
Surprise During Meal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksjadj.htm
Surprise Her Mechanics
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjquis.htm
Man Cheats DEA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asgs.htm
Missile
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkhjg.htm
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsdv.htm
OK
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsijj.htm
Oops
http://www.buffaloschips.com/yuiu.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An ad found in the Canberra Times, Personal Section: This is
good! I reckon this bloke should have got a few replies simply
for taking the time to think of this!
Wanted A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
Interested?
Then please only read lines 1, 3 and 5;
still interested?
Call me at...... 8250-0327
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Talk To Hot Women
I must admit, a woman is a mans best friend.
While I was in college, I did the typical guy thing.
Went to bars, and tried to hang out with chicks; but actually
talking to them was another story.
When I was fortunate enough to finally score, it was guaranteed
embarrassment.
Thats what brought me to this site.
Not knowing how to carry on a convo cant be the most popular thing
among them.
Now that Ive tried how to talk 2 hot women, actually talking is no
longer my biggest worry.
Will she be able to handle this my monster confidence? Thats what I
ask myself now.
Thank You !
Jeff, Phoenix, AZ
Visit site->
http://buffaloschips.com/hotwo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A singer named Ursula Greville
Had a lousy affair with the devil
Her bush was so thick
It obstructed his prick
So he sent for the Barber of Seville
____________________________
A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
____________________________
A soldier known only as Sarge
Had sex with a hooker named Marge
Though only a grunt
He assaulted her cunt
And gave her an hon'rable discharge.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's our Best BOGO offer yet!
Buy 250 Business Cards, Get 250 More FREE!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Choose which Business Cards is best for you.
Premium Business Cards
250 Start at $19.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $3.99 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Premium Business Cards for just $3.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Folded Business Cards
250 Start at $29.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $14.99 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Folded Business Cards for just $14.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Recycled Business Cards
250 Start at $34.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $17.50 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Recycled Business Cards for just $17.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Vertical Business Cards
250 Start at $19.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $3.99 Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Recycled Business Cards for just $3.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
This sale is here today, gone tomorrow. Order now!
Dont delay. Get 2x the business cards today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of
cosmetic surgery.
The first woman said, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a
boob job."
The second woman responded, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm thinking of
having my asshole bleached!"
"Whoa," replied the first woman. "I just can't picture your husband
as a blonde!"
Dukie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brain Oxygen-Boosting Miracle Energizes Mind, Mood and Memory
New pill sharpens focus, clears away brain fog, erases 15 years of
lost memory power!
For those readers seiously concerned or even embarrassed by
forgetting that important name, date or to-do item again, here's
some welcome news!
A world-renowned brain university has announced the successfull
testing of a memory pill that can reclaim as much as 10, even 15
years of mental decline and lost brainpower.
It's a fast-acting formula developed by US clinical research
scientist and best-selling author Joshua Reynolds that took years to
perfect.
For close to 40 years, Reynolds studied more than 1.5 million human
brains, analyzing countless brain scans of older people and
researching thousands of natural ingredients.
Procera AVH contains the three premier brain energy nutrients in
precise, clinically tested doses. Reynolds calls acetyl
-l-carnitine, huperzine and vinpocetine, "the 3 Miracle Memory
Molecules!"
Are Aging Brains Starved for Oxygen?
Reynolds explains his formula's success. "It's a simple concept; an
aging brain can't catch its breath. Once you reach 50, you may have
already lost half your brain power. At that age, your brain is
litterally gasping for oxygen."
"With each passing birthday, less and less oxygen gets to your
starving brain cells as a result of toxic build-up and impaired
neurotransmitter capacity." he adds.
"I was forgetting my employees' names and it was really
embarrassing," says user Jeff P. "After a week on Procera, I started
remembering them again and I was much more focused and
self-confident."
Procera AVH increases the blood circulation in the brain, flooding
oxygen-starved cells with fresh supplies of energizing oxygen and
vital brain nutrients. It gets the neurons fired up again!
The result? Users say the effects are felt quickly, like putting on
a pair of prescription eye glasses for the very first time.
Everything becomes clear and focused like when we were young.
Not yet available in stores, Reynolds is now making this clinically
tested, non-prescription formula available risk-free.
All New Users Receive One Month Free!
Reynolds is also including, with the first 500 orders, a FREE supply
of his powerful brain detox formula, Ceraplex, scientifically
designed to rapidly flush away environmental toxins from the brain
to help enhance memory and focus even further. This is a special
introductory offer and supplies are limited, so call now.
100% Secure and Confidential
http://buffaloschips.com/cerap
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1680
The Level of Badness
Rudy: I am bad.
Katie: No, I am bad.
Sandi: I am watching.
Rudy: I am going to run to the edge of that cliff.
Katie: I am going to run to the edge of the cliff and maybe a
little beyond and back.
Rudy: Oh yeah!
Katie: Oh yeah!
Sandi: I am watching.
Rudy: Let's go.
Katie: Start us off Sandi.
Sandi: Go!
Zoom!
Zoom!
A few moments later...
Rudy/Katie: Help!!!!
Sandi walks slowly over to the cliff where Rudy and Katie are
hanging on to the edge by their paws.
Sandi: Who is the baddest of all?
Rudy/Katie: You are!
Sandi extends a paw to each dog and pulls them up.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment