Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The title came in for the Chevy on Saturday, a week after they sent
it
off so I picked up Don after work and headed back up to the
Secretary
of State Office. Tomorrow I will get Buffy to go with me and drive
the
Jimmy back so I have a chance to check it out. Every vehicle has
its own peculiarities and even though you mention what you think
a person needs to know there is always a learning curve and Yooper
Vehicles are even worse. Little things like don't take it to the
car
wash because the rust is the only thing holding the rear end on and
don't roll the windows down because they will fall out of the bottom
of the door, that sort of thing. The Explorer has a broken door
handle on the inside driver's door. The locks lock when you have
the motor running and Buff decided to play Incredible Hulk and try
to
force the door to open and snapped the handle linkage. I usually
don't mind taking the panels off but I'll let Don worry about those
and all of the switches in the handles.
Speaking of the Incredible Hulk I was watching the Hulk land a 747
on WLLZ this afternoon which was kind of surprising as their
schedule
said it was My Name is Earl. There are some good shows on there
but they are never what is listed.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
buffalo says
If you love Halloween and you want a ton of stuff from G to X
this is a great list that only sends mail out for 3 months a year.
Jokes are greatand the toons and artwork are spectacular.
Its that time of year again. The sheep and me welcome you to
HALLOWEINIE-SCREAMIE 2010.
Get that big volume mailbox ready and prepare for some of the most
glorious, terrifying, spooky artwork, graphics, animations, seasonal
jokes, Autumn recipes and horrifyingly disgusting creations.
This list methinks is in its 13th year. Lets make it special.
Ewe must bee over 18 to join this list. Some witch pictures can bee
pretty sleazy.
So get a witches shawl on, a broomstick you can call on…..and some
sheep!
The Halloween list opens August 1, 2010 and will close sometime
during the day of November 1, 2010. Have fun, mates!
Send a blank email to
HALLOWEINIE-SCREAMIE2010-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Paulaaaaaa will co-moderate.
Bleat
ßáá¿-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiger Direct is your Back-To-School Headquarters
Whether it is a Netbook, Notebook, Desktop Computer or maybe
a TV for the dorm room, Tiger Direct has it along with fantastic
deals on software. Even better idea give the kid your 32 " flat
panel and get yourself an even larger one for you to watch. They
have better eyes and should be doing their homework anyhow.
Check out the deals at
http://buffaloschips.com/tigbts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Test Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a sex test for old people.
The object is to see how fast can you guess the words.
Hey, who said old people don't think about sex!!!
How fast can you guess these words?
1. B o o _ s
2. _ _ n d o m
3. F _ _ k
4. P _ n _ s
5. P u _ s _
Answers Below, Don't cheat
Answers:
1. Books
2. Random
3. Fork
4. Pants
5. Pulse
You got all 5 wrong DIDN'T YOU?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
just eat me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j007.html
company morale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j008.html
15 years
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j009.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quickie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom &Dad decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon
"quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him
out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the
neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted.
A few moments passed.
"An ambulance just drove by"
A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company" he
called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike....."
"The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!
Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex??"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony with a Popsicle too
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Create A Permanent Bond To Any Surface Instantly
UGlu is an industrial adhesive with the convenience of tape. Sticks
permanently like glue, but removes easily without residue or mess.
Now you can easily transform a room with crown molding, char rails
and picture all without using nails.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/adhes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His
mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he
acts.
She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the
money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't
you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead.
After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He
finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a
new bicycle. Your Friend, Little Johnny Now Little Johnny knew that
Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (Brat). So, he ripped up
the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours Truly, Little Johnny Well, Little Johnny knew this wasn't
totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.
Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I
have a new bicycle? Signed, Little Johnny Well, Little Johnny
looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother
was really wanting. He crumpled up the letter threw it in the trash
can and went wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated
his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found
himself in front of a Catholic Church.
Little Johnny went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing
what he should really do. Little Johnny finally got up and began to
walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a
sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home
hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.
Jesus, I've broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in
school, tore up my sister's Barbie doll and lots more. I'm
desperate.
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a
bike.
Signed, You know who.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The New Spray & Wipe Hair Remover
Depil Silk is the fantastic pain and mess-free way to remove hair
instantly. Now you can say goodbye to unwanted hair. The kit
includes the Depil Silk spray, the special facial hair remover and a
cotton towel to easily remove unwanted hair.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/depil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good News Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walter, the hypocondriac,checked himself into the hospital for his
weekly physical and diagnostic examination. After a battery of
fluid tests, an alphabet of electronic scans, and several probings
and proddings, Walter was resting in his room.
The doctor came in, and said to Walter, " I have good news and bad
news, Walter. Which do you want to hear first?"
"I knew it. Give it to me straight. I can take it. I am dying, I
know it. that's the bad news, right?"
"yes, Walter, you are dying. You have a very rare, but always
fatal, illness. It has no cure or even a treatment option. The
pain will be excrutiating, there is no pain medication that will
work, and in a week or so of terrible suffering you will be gone."
"Huh??" was all Walter could say.
"I am sorry Walter, but there really is nothing we can do for you."
"Wait a minute, Doctor, didn't you say that you had good news as
well?"
"Oh right, I forgot -- I will be screwing your nurse tonight!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs
With the combination of memory and supporting foam, now your pets
can get the comfort they deserve. This bed conforms to your dog's
body giving them overall support and relieves arthritis, hip, joint
and muscle pain. Best of all, the waterproof liner prevents stains
and odors and stops liquid damage.
This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
http://buffaloschips.com/dped
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Midget Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time.
The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The
doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the
examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger
under his left giggleberry and told the Midget to turn his head and
cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and as he put his finger under the right
man-
meatball, he asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical
scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on
the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with
amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the
midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles
still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and
discovered his boys were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What
did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy
boots."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Petzoom sonic pet trainer -Instantly train your cat and dog.
The Petzoom sonic pet trainer is lightweight and small, so it fits
in your pocket. No shocking is used by the pet trainer. It is gentle
and humane. It's easy to take with you when you go for walks, ride
your bicycle, or even when you're hiking to keep other dogs and pets
safely away.
http://buffaloschips.com/ptz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Gift of Friendship
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/GC/Gi.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week.
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
His Presence
http://www.loratrue2000.com/poems/hispresence.htm
I Pledge My Love
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/Ipledgemylove.htm
Woman
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womandbd.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Grandparents
http://www.grandparents.com
Sleep Disorders
http://www.sleepnet.com/sleeptest.html
Hurricane Survival
http://www.hurricanesafety.org/home2.cfm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Revo Uninstaller
http://download.cnet.com/Revo-Uninstaller/3000-2096_4-10687648.html
Keyboard Cleaning In A Dishwasher
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_uCvGYherU&feature=related
Automate Weekly PC Maintenance
http://www.microsoft.com/athome/moredone/maintenance.mspx
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.whippettalk.com/forums/index.php
Kitty Korner
http://www.thecatgallery.com/himalayan_cat_models_page_8.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Hot Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8298.htm
How I crashed my Harley
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8299.htm
How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
http://www.buffaloschips.com/82910.htm
How to get rid of a one night stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83101.htm
How to carry plywood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83102.htm
Love Bird
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjhiouoi.htm
Love Hurts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jajka.htm
Megan True Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkdl.htm
Men Invented Everything
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkdak.htm
Mouse
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdkoo.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JW Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses:
1.Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results)
2.Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see
how long their spirit of charity lasts.
3.Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by
that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can
have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to
get flustered and leave.
4.Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the
"Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly.
You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid
of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
5.Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) ...
and don't come back.
6.Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls.
(booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if
they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for
the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)
7.Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus,
heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If
they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very
even tones, and giggle again.
8.Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.
9.(males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil.
Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress,
the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...]
throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7)
If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if they
would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.
10.Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280505.htm
Bad Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280506.htm
Cards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/020280507.htm
Stripper Strike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280508.htm
Billy's Plan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280509.htm
Coke Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280510.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? It's true! There are no claim
forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschips.com/hove
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about young Henry Lockett,
Who went for a ride in a rocket?
The force of the blast
Blew his balls up his ass,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.
______________________________
Felix the most evil cat,
Cared not a jot where he shat,
In slippers or shoes,
He don't care where he poos,
And he laughs when he hears your feet splat.....
______________________________
A young exhibitionist Kay,
Having tossing all her panties away,
Has invited us lads
(Via newspaper ads)
To a pubic performance today.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you know that there are billions of dollars now easily available
to Americans?
FileForGrants.com is the fastest way for you to apply for grants
online. You can search for grants online, find grant services, find
grant training programs, and much more! Filing for your grant online
is faster and more convenient than any other method.
Get Started Now!
http://buffaloschips.com/ffg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for
many retirees, I lasted less than a day...
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with
her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance. I said pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell. no, they
ain't twins. The oldest one's nine, and the other one's seven. Why
the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind? or stupid?"
I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't
believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank
you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bionic hearing aid - Rechargeable bionic hearing aid.
The Lee Majors Rechargeable bionic hearing aid combines digital
hearing aid technology with the convenience of a rechargeable
battery. You will love the noticeable, digital quality hearing
improvement it makes without having the hassle of traditional
battery-operated hearing aids.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/leema
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment