THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries
of the earth are never alone or weary of life."
~Rachel Carson
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have learned a new word! Actually, it should be called
a "phrase". its called "Intellectual masterbation!"
How bout that!! now that is an impressive one.
the urban dictionary says that the definition is:
"Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose."
As an example, the dictionary says...
We debated and created a perfect system of government,
but it was all just mental masturbation, really.
It is
The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating
conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive
action in your life.
Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom,
I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then
now she would be my girlfriend."
Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and
go out and meet a new girl!"
What do you think? should I attempt to turn THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
into intellectual masterbation? I have been thinking about it.
While there may be very little around here that is intellectual,
the masterbation part does seem to fit in, doesn't it?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
I'm guessin that's Helen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j000.html
lawyers at the bar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j001.html
for your tip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j002.html
would you mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j003.html
out with the girls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j004.html
wasting your time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j005.html
playing ostriche
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j006.html
just eat me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j007.html
company morale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j008.html
15 years
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j009.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
its a contact sport
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100150.html
toilet prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100151.html
hardly the usual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100152.html
a romantic evening
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100153.html
if gravy matters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100154.html
like walking a dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100155.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
wet t shirts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd293.html
nice girls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd294.html
A penis is a splendid thing; you ladies should be jealous.
An organ with such lovely skin, it's smooth and mostly hairless.
It starts to grow so quickly when a guy's about thirteen, His
testicles on either side, his willy in between.
It dangles neatly down below; it's softly warm and loyal.
But at the slightest hint of lust, it's ready to uncoil.
It seems to have a mind all of its own; it's like an untamed
beast, It squirms and writhes and stretches out, just when
you 'spect it least. Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves, erecting
when it shouldn't. A bumpy
train ride sets it off, and then I wish it wouldn't.
During summer, wearing little, sunning on the beach, A glimpse of
wobbly boobs or bums will make it squirm and reach.
But handle it with love and care, for it will give great pleasure. I
often check if it has grown - now when did I last measure?
Some men will fret about their size: they give it lots of thought; Is
seven inches long enough? It makes them quite distraught.
They sneak a look in toilets, wondering what they'll see, But if
another glances back at them, there's no way they can pee!
Masturbating is a sin - at least some folks believe. That's just some
old wives' tale, 'cause it really can relieve.
Without this super organ, no shag would be complete. Lesbians can try
their best, but must admit defeat.
It has some splendid functions, I'm sure you will agree: To start a
whole new life, and more than that - to pee!
But what seems most amazing about my one-eyed flute, Whatever it is
doing, it knows which juice to shoot.
And better yet, it stays with one, until one's old and frail. Don't
take it out in public though, or you'll be thrown in jail
_______________
When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her
ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.
As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered,
"My son is a lawyer."
As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services
of an attorney.
"Only to mow my lawn."
____________
Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't
afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also
couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home
with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because
she couldn't sleep. When she went past her oldest daughter's
room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters
room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest
daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.
The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest
daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?"
The daughter replied, "Mom you always told me if something
hurt I should scream." "That's true."
She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so
much last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something
tickled you should laugh."
"That's also true."
Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter.
"Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should
never talk with my mouth full."
______________
A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi
at the airport. It was after midnight.
While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would come in with
him and be a witness.
The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch
her in the act.For $100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket
back and there was his wife in bed screwing another man.
The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't
do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I
inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you.
He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your Green Bay Packer
season tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for
our country club membership and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a
cold!
_________________
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I
had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after
several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but
not for lunch.""Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me
to join him afterwards. "We could have lunch at that Chinese place
we both like," he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the
next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My
husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes, and said, "Separate checks,
please..."
________________
A beautiful, young lady about 21 went to a doctor and asked for a
check-up. The doctor claimed that he had to use a thermometer for
the check-up. So the doctor asked her, "Where shall I put the thermometer?"
The girl replied, "...uh ...not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow it."
"Okay...let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested.
"Well, it might tickle me, Doc. How about my butt?" the girl queried.
"Okay then," so he put the thing in the girls butt.
Later, the girl while giggling exclaimed, "that's not my butt, Doc!"
The doctor replied, "That's okay dear... it's not the thermometer, either."
____________________
BUFFALO BILL
Drunk trust
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83103.htm
How to drive a hummer in Iraq
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83104.htm
How to peel a banana
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83105.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES
Table Soccer Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38555&s=n
Ski Jump Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41824&s=n
Blue Lobster
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41430&s=n
Beans in Space
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39813&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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