Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We have had a variety of weather hot to cold, wet to dry and
back to wet again, and a wind this morning that was blowing the rain
in horizontally and the sun was shining above. That isn't all that
uncommon when you live near the water and we seem to have
a good breeze most of the time. For that reason it never made
a lot of sense when the city placed a moratorium on wind
generators as there are wind farms to the north and south and
several businesses out in the county that generate a good portion
of their electric bill with windmills. They cited reasons that
noise,
appearance, and reflected light would disturb neighbors. They
proposed a new ordnance tonight that would allow people
with larger lots to have a windmill without a permit and people
with smaller lots would require one. That is a step in the right
direction at a time when utility rates are going to go up.
The other discussion tonight involved smoking in public parks.
Michigan law no longer allows smoking inside of bars so you
always see a few people sitting on the bench outside the local
watering hole having a smoke. There was a suggestion to
prohibit smoking in all city park areas but instead they decided
on mainly those areas where children play, leaving the adult
ball fields and boat dock areas as smoking havens. No
wonder so many people become recluses, it's hard enough
to get Sandy out to do the shopping without a smoke break
in the middle.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
Here is a newsletter you may enjoy
Echoes from the Past: A Sagerose Publication
"Free Weekly Newsletter"
"Western History, Sagebrush Inspirations
and Other Things"
http://www.rtconnect.net/~rosiec/news.htm
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African Chips
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This British explorer is in the dark jungle,
going where no Western man has gone before.
Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter,
cook, and troubleshooter in one. One day early in
the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a
handsome dark young man engaged in "playful
activities" with ten beautiful, dark, young women,
all in the nude. The young man had the biggest,
strongest male unit the Britisher had ever seen, or
even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked
his guide who this man was.
"He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other
side of the lake, Sir," came the reply. "This is his
morning ritual."
"Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion,
"How did his member get to be this size?"
The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man,
who seems to get very agitated by the conversation.
"Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his
assistant on his return.
"He said, 'There's nothing wrong with my penis.
Doesn't the white man's shrink in cold water?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
so far
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anger management
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l008.html
Barbara
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l0009.html
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Short Chips
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The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got
ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws. At last, he took
his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the
forceps, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open,
and the tooth was easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the
root went that deep!"
My wife said " Honey, go get a dozen condoms, I'm horny! I said,
"Great Darling, I'll be right back.
When I got back, she said "Thanks" and walked out the door.
"Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?"
"It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied.
"Whatever do you mean by that?"
"It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress
with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my
pair annoy ya'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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I got up at halftime and went into the bathroom to make room for
some more beer. When I came out my wife said, "Did you wash your
hands?"
I said, "No. Why make such a big deal about it?" "Well, you went to
the bathroom, your hands are dirty," she complained, "Go back and
wash them!" "I don't know what you're complaining about, I didn? t
touch anything in there you haven't had in your mouth!" I slept on
the couch that night.
Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine
husband called home to tell me he would be late again. He went on
to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's
quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. I launched
into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their
quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be
penalized for something trivial. My husband calmly listened to my
gripes and then explained, "Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from
their rifles had not been cleaned."
Gay Man's Motto: My body is a temple. With ample parking in the
rear.
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Marine Chips
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Bumper stickers seen on Marine Corps Base "U.S. Marines --
Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club"
" Water-boarding is out so kill them all!"
"Interrogators can't water board dead guys"
" U.S. Marines -- Travel Agents To Allah"
"Stop Global Whining"
"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine" Naval Corollary; Dead men don't
testify.
"The Marine Corps -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be
Destroyed Overnight"
"Death Smiles At Everyone -- Marines Smile Back"
"Marine Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!"
"What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? .... A little Recoil"
"Marines -- Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For
their Country Since 1775"*
"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"
"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"
"It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The
Meeting"
"Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl"
"One Shot, Twelve Kills -- US Navy Gun Fire Support"
"Do draft dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?"
"My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college"
"Machine Gunners -- Accuracy by Volume"
"A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers"
"If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English,
Thank A Veteran"
"Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has
Never Solved Anything.*
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a
difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem."
- Ronald Reagan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Chips
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An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will
prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for
a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my
life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be
possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to
the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the
will. The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me
what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed
under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I
have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive
life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice
when I pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a
funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting
impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But
tell me," he continued, "what would you like to do with the
remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived
alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a
man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a
man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll
see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you." That evening,
the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster
and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could do
around the house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her
husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car
until you're finished." The next morning, she drove him to the
spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She
waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out. So she
blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his
head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow! She's going to let the
County bury her!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Symbol of Friendship
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/SOF.html
Bring Ryder Home
http://bringryderhome.wordpress.com/
Different Time
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/differenttime.htm
John w/ A Day Of Memories
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/softlyasileaveyou/
Carol w/Childhood Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/hood.html
Friendship
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendship.html
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Surfin Surfari
The Flea Circus Research Library Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/6ymrye
Habitat for Humanity Via Wesley
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HydroElectric Power~How it Works
http://wwwga.usgs.gov/edu/hyhowworks.html
Doormat Humor
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doormat.html
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Memeo Send
http://xrl.in/2xdh
Find the ISP and Country of Origin Via Wesley
http://aruljohn.com/track.pl
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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World's Largest Rodent!
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Movie Links
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjhjkh.htm
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjhk.htm
How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkhjk.htm
It can Make You suck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghjhgjhg.htm
It's Cool To Wear A Scottish Kilt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asda.htm
Olympic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/es3.htm
Perception
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkj89.htm
Person Of The Week
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksdaa.htm
Puppy VS Mirror
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjdskjd.htm
Recession USA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklslkw.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's mother decided to tell him all about making
babies, so she had "the talk" with him. Afterwards Little
Johnny just sat there silently for awhile.
"Do you understand?" his mother asked.
"Yes," replied Little Johnny.
"Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother.
"Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked Little
Johnny.
"In exactly the same way as with babies", answered his Mom.
"Wow!" Little Johnny exclaimed. "My daddy will fuck
ANYTHING!"
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
c&m
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfhsgkfldg.htm
c chicken
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cable guy
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cafe
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penis boxer
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coin with boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxgjdfgdf'.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A critic refused, as reviewer,
To read the obscene and impure;
He soon left the scene
For the books that were clean,
just kept getting fewer and fewer.
_______________________
I once loved a woman named Gert,
Who climbed mountain peaks in a skirt,
She said, "It feels nice,
On the steep rocks and ice,
And it keeps those below more alert!"
_______________________
There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiger Direct is your Back-To-School Headquarters
Whether it is a Netbook, Notebook, Desktop Computer or maybe
a TV for the dorm room, Tiger Direct has it along with fantastic
deals on software. Even better idea give the kid your 32 " flat
panel and get yourself an even larger one for you to watch. They
have better eyes and should be doing their homework anyhow.
Check out the deals at
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does the Old Woman Who Lived in A Shoe feed her children?
Filet of sole.
What is her oldest daughter's name?
Lacie.
What kind of drugs does she take?
Uppers.
How much does each kid grow in a year?
A foot.
Who does the Old Woman call when her car is not running properly?
The toe truck.
Where does she get her water?
Pumps.
What kind of animals do they have on their farm?
Mules.
Where will the children to college?
Oxford.
What happens when all the children use the sink to wash their hair?
Clogs.
Why was there no Old Man Who Lived in the Shoe?
The old woman divorced him because he was such a low heel, and a
loafer ever since his boss gave him the boot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1859
The Great Escape Ding Dong!
BJ: I will get it.
BJ: Hello, may I help you?
Postman: I could not help but notice your fawn colored dog using a
pole to pole vault over your backyard fence. Quite clever actually.
BJ: Ack! Thank you, I need to go chase down. Diana, there is a
pole in the backyard go hide it or something. Katie is using it to
escape.
Sandi: Yes, she has been testing her form for some time now.
BJ: Why didn't you tell me?
Rudy: Well, we didn't think she would actually do it.
Val: She is after all, Katie.
BJ: My point exactly. About an hour later...
BJ: And furthermore Miss Katherine.if I ever hear of you pole
vaulting again.
Katie: I shan't pole vault again. I promise.
To be continued The herd
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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