Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From the archives
One of the fondest memories of childhood summer is Wed. nights at the drive-in theatre. It was carload night or family night and a carload cost a dollar instead of the usual 1.00 a person. In the upholstered seats of a big old Buick or Mercury it was almost like sitting at home on your couch and if you got restless there was a playground under the screen with swings and a merry-go-round. You could eat at the concessions stand but we always brought a large bag of popcorn and sodas from home to save money. Lynnlynn told me one time that her father brought his grill and would cook hotdogs and if someone outside the family wanted one he would undersell the concessions stand. Even though the theater made the bulk of it sales on food items and not the tickets, the people that ran it were members of the communities and friends and wanted everyone to have a good time and it was good for business, if you treat your customers right they will spend their money there later when their situation improves.
Drive-in season here started just before school got out and went full time when school got out. Light rain never dampened anyone's spirits or stopped the films but thunderstorms warranted a rain check that would get you in the next night. maybe that is where that term came from, who knows? Later I remember they started selling magnetic visors for a 1.50 that stuck to your roof and two little poles that had suction cups on them. As long as there wasn't a wind you could see the movie and actually use it more than once. Maintenance on a drive-in wasn't much as once you had the dirt mounded up and roads in place and your wiring laid the only maintenance was clean up and painting the screen every few years. Oh and I almost forgot the job of replacing the speakers that people would forget to remove from their windows. Did you ever drive off and forget to put the speaker back? I had friends who had several in their trunk, can't remember if they were blond or not but eventually they went to a little clip for your antenna and you tuned your radio to a certain station. Sometimes the signal was so strong you could listen as you were leaving the theater.
Enough memories for today, if you are leaving before the end of the chips please leave you lights off until you exit the theater so you don't disturb the other patrons. Have a great evening... buffalo
A Newsletter you may enjoy
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was playing in his room
when his dad walked in and explained
that he and his mom were getting a divorce.
"Why Daddy?" asked a confused Little
Johnny.
"Well, son" he explained, "Your mother
and I are no longer in love."
Now more confused, Little Johnny asked,
"What does being in love mean?"
The father explained, "Let me give you
an example, son. Love is when a husband
rushes home from a long day at work to
embrace and kiss his wife at the door.
Your mom and I have lost that love..."
Then little Johnny said, "But Daddy,
I see Mommy getting excited lots of times
right when you come home, so she must
still be in love with you."
The father was rather confused with his son's
statement since he had personally never
experienced this as of late. "I don't understand,
son. When has your mother recently been
excited when I arrive home from work?"
Little Johnny replied, "Well, sometimes when
Mommy is still playing in bed with the neighbor,
and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at
the top of her lungs, 'My husband's home!
My husband's home!!'"
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Parking Chips
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What Should Sex and Parking Spaces have in common:
You should never have to wait to find one.
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Spaces in the front are always the best.
When there are no spaces in front, spaces in the rear are just fine.
It makes you jealous when you see someone else is double-parked.
Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back.
People are willing to wait in line for the good spaces.
Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying.
We're all looking for the free space with the "unlimited" time limit.
A house isn't a home without a parking space.
Some people are uncomfortable with a space in the rear, just do it.
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Duck Chips
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LAWYER: "On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duckpond?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And did you observe anything?"
WITNESS: "I did." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?"
WITNESS: "I saw George."
LAWYER: " You saw George, the defendant in this case?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Can you tell the Court what George was doing?"
WITNESS: "Yes." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, would you kindly do so?"
WITNESS: " He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks."
LAWYER: "His 'thing?'"
WITNESS: "You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis."
LAWYER: "You passed close by the duckpond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Did you say anything to him?"
WITNESS: "Of course, I did!"
LAWYER: "What did you say to him?"
WITNESS: "Morning, George."
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Luigi Chips
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An Italian and his 6 year old son, Luigi, go into a clothing shop. "May I help you?" asks the salesman.
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"Why do I keep hitting Luigi - WITH THE BIG FAT HEAD?' yells the father, bashing Luigi again. 'Well, I'll tell you!" he says. "When I met his mamma, Maria, she wassa eighteen years old, she hada a perfect body, the most beautiful breasts 1 ever saw - and the nicest, tighta pussy ina the whole suburb - until along comma Luigi WITH THE BIG FAT HEAD!"'
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Short Chips
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Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally
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~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Friendship Memories http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/J_F.M.html
I'm Not Alone
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Surfin Surfari
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Japan's Crop Art
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Color Blind test
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iResize Photo Resizer for Mac Free http://mac.softpedia.com/get/Graphics/iResize.shtml
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Movie Links
Kind Of Scary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/werww.htm
Kitchen Table
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Law Enforcement.. Dealing With The Public
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Lil Red Riding Hood Chunk
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Lucky Louie
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The Mom Song
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Tolerant Cat
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Uncle Jay
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Walk-in Closet
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Who Needs Pockets
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Obama Chips
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From BJ in Oz
Since the election, I have come up with some new words and their definitions.
John and Mary were just married and could not wait to get to their motel so they could Obama their brains out.
I could not go to the bathroom for three days so I took an laxative and when I went, I took a huge Obama.
Yeah, my taxes are going up again, my boss yelled at me, my day has been just Obama'd again.
Harry what is wrong with you?
Harry: Tied one on last night, got really wasted.
No wonder you really look like Obama.
Jake I asked for a Phillips screwdriver not a regular screwdriver. Do you have Obama for brains?
Jake: Sorry Dude I guess I just Obama'd up.
Did you hear that little Johnny got his mouth washed out
with soap for telling too many Obamas?
BJ
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Toon Chips
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camel huge
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camel toe cup
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camel toe 2
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camel toe3
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came too soon
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Limerick Chips
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A Sailor, Ashore In Peru
Said ''Señora, Quanto Por La Screw?''
''For Only One Peso
I Will, If You Say So,
Be Buggered And Nibble It Too.''
________________________
A pirate, so history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically worthless on dates.
________________________
A Rabbi who came from Peru
Was vainly attempting to screw
His wife said "Oy vey!
If you keep up this way
The Messiah will come before you."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A fellow went to a Halloween costume party dressed in only a grass skirt. The theme of the party was "My Favorite Song" and attendees were supposed to dress as that song title. When the judging was set to begin, the fellow realized that the woman in line next to him was nude, and quite attractive. The judges asked the naked lady what song her "costume" represented. She smiled coyly, and said "Just As I Am". The judges then asked the fellow in the grass skirt which song his costume depicted, and he replied, "It was going to be "Little Grass Shack in Hawaii, but since that naked broad showed up, I changed it to "Coming Through The Rye!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1861
Katie and John Valentine
Katie is in the backyard using some wire cutters to cut
her way out and as she is trying to cut herself a way out
when John Valentine rides up on his horse in the alley
and asks her what she is doing?
Gulp! Well, I am just, err, I am... ah,
Well, Little girl, I think you should think twice about
what you are doing. You have a nice home here. Out in
the world, life is much more dangerous and you might
find yourself in serious trouble.
Katie: What can happen out in the real world?
JV: Well, I just happen to be chasing a demon to this town.
Katie shaking: a a demon...?
JV: Whoa I think I see it now.
A large creature with devilish eyes and wings flies down into the alley and confronts John Valentine who swings out his sword and the two do battle just a few feet from a shaking Katie.
A few minutes pass and the demon is killed and turns to a black mist.
JV: Still want out girl?
Katie: No, I think I will stay here in the safety of my backyard.
JV: Wise choice. See you later.
Katie: A question. I thought you were just a story.
JV: Am I here or not?
The herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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