Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Water Department was over at Buffy's house this morning and they
wanted to change her water meter. We had never seen the meter and
figured it was in the crawl space. The only problem with that was
that a previous tenant had put a piece of carpeting in the bedroom
and nailed it down covering the opening to the crawl space. Buffy
and the water dept. guy moved the furniture and took up the carpet
and surprise, surprise no meter in the
crawl space, it was under the bathroom sink.
I am playing property manager again and the phone has been
ringing off the hook with college kids trying to find a place to
live at the last minute. I rented the apartment above me last week
and I have already sent about a dozen or so to look at a house that
is owned by the same person that won't even be ready for
another week as it is getting carpeting and paint.
People that hear me on the phone, who know me, generally laugh
because I switch from swear like a sailor mode to business mode and
can talk for ten minutes straight without swearing. This is from
years of telephone etiquette training starting in third grade when
you were given little books on how to use a phone and those old
heavy dial phones to practice on. Of course in my house you weren't
allowed to answer the phone unless the parents weren't there and
then you better take a perfect message. My dad was on call for
overtime work so if he was at home we weren't allowed to call our
friends.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
A newsletter you may be interested in
BREAKING NEWS !!
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Vet Chips
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home
from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a
long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they
had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?"
asked an elderly lady's voice.
"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of
cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't
get to sleep. What can I do about it?"
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently
replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone"
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"
"Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the church speaks out! http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l037.html
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terror
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Drink Chips
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Three 7 year old girls were walking down the street wearing their
mothers' clothing; large hats, high heels, and long dresses. They
passed a bar and one of the girls said, "let's go in for a drink."
They went in and crawled up onto the bar stools. The bartender
laughed and thought he would have some fun. He spoke to the first
little girl and said, "What will you have young lady?" The girl
replied, "I'll have a Martini." The bartender could not give them
any liquor so he filled up a martini glass with 7-UP, placed an
olive in it and put it in front of her. He said to the second girl,
"What will you have today?" She replied, "A Manhattan." The
bartender then filled a Manhattan glass with Ginger- Ale, put in a
cherry in it, and set it in front of her. Next he asked the third
little girl, "What will you have today?" After a long pause she
replied, "I'll have a douche. Mother says they're so refreshing."
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dwarf Chips
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Questions for Snow White and the 7 Dwarves
1. If Doc is a doctor, why couldn't
he cure Sneezy?
2. Doc, a doctor or not, why didn't
Sneezy go buy some Allerest?
3. Should we call Happy, "You're OK"
and Grumpy, "You're not OK"?
4. If the dwarfs were diamond miners,
why did they live in a shack?
5. Could the Dwarfs beat the Keebler
Elves in a basketball game?
6. Why did the Dwarfs wear condoms
on their heads?
7. If Doc is a doctor, why couldn't he
cure Sleepy's narcolepsy?
8. What if one of the Dwarfs was really
a bewitched prince who awakened
Snow White.
9. What was he doing kissing the sleeping
Snow White?
(not that there is anything wrong with that.)
10. Would the kiss have changed the prince/
dwarf into a frog?
11. Would a lawsuit be filed accusing said
prince/dwarf/frog of sexual harassment?
12. Should there be a Starrgate investigation
of the prince/dwarf/frog's sexual behavior?
13. Were The Brothers Grimm and Disney
guilty of obstruction of justice?
Please send your solutions to the nearest
convening authority!
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Job Chips
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few
beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both
doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How
about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll
just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes
in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into
the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she
goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't
you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we
started."
"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman.
"You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?"
"Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know?"
The woman answers, "Because I slept through most of it and I didn't
feel a thing."
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Payback Chips
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What little boys will do, its called Pay Back.
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking
down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a
string behind him.
He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute,
and knocked on the door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy
and asked what he wanted
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women
inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not
leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come
in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the
girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no! ! .
He said, "I heard all the men talking a bout having to
get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S
the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the
money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the
first room on the right. He headed down the hall,
dragging the squashed frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the
frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did
you pick the only girl in the place with a disease,
instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get
home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to
eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After
they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me
because she just happens to be very fond of cute
little boys. She will then get the disease that I just
caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will
take the baby-sitter home. On t he way, he' ll jump
the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the
disease. Then when Dad gets home from the
baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have
sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when
Dad goes to work, the milkman will deliver the
milk, have a quickie with Mom, and catch the
disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran
over my FROG."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Coming Soon
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/A/Co.html
Fooling Yourself
http://www.poetrybyken.us/lpoems51/Fooling%20Myself.html
Awesome School
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gschool.html
Believe In Your Dreams
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Surfin Surfari
Find A Quote Via Wesley
http://www.quotestumbler.com/
May I set your table? Via Wesley
http://www.wholesale-table-linens.com/setup-tableware.html
World's Biggest Diamond Heist Via Wesley http://tinyurl.com/bt8uhj
Wave Photography Art
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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advantage of this:
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Create printable flyers online
http://www.band-flyers.com/
Virus-built Battery
http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2009/virus-battery-0402.html
Watch Horror Movies Online For Free
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Making Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjks.htm
Mama's Boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aka.htm
Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkak.htm
Money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkllp.htm
What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaol.htm
Why College Takes 5 Years
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdskjhkdsj.htm
Wild
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkskjsd.htm
Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm
Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm
Dog in Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm
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Short Chips
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A married couple had a wild passionate session one Saturday morning
before breakfast. They were really into it, even performing oral
sex on each other. I'm still trying to understand just why the
husband went ballistic when his wife wanted to use his toothbrush
after breakfast.
Do you remember when Drive-ins had young chicks on roller skates who
wheeled up to your car window to take your order? Back in '55 I
pulled in to one those and when the little lady came to my window to
ask for my order I said, "I want a sheepherder sandwich." She said,
"That's not on the menu, what is it?" Confidently I replied, "A
piece of ewe." The bitch slapped me.
Recession Tip: An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps
makes an inexpensive vibrator.
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Toon Chips
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camp tent feet
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camping
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campus
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can of shut the fuck up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mbncvbvc.htm
can you see my penis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnjckbcv.htm
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Limerick Chips
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A young exhibitionist named Kay,
Having tossed all her panties away,
Has invited us lads
(Via newspaper ads)
To a pubic performance today.
A young English lass named Tess
Had herself in a terrible mess
She offered a fuck
For a fresh U.S. buck
But found out she was worth even less.
To music I must have been born,
'Cause, man, I love blowing a horn!
While cornets get cornier
Horns make me hornier
My mouth's full-time pursed, I must warn.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
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Parting Chips
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A young Jew and an old Jew are riding on a bus
in Jerusalem.
The young Jew asks, "Excuse me, sir, what time
is it?"
The old Jew doesn't answer.
"Excuse me, sir," the young Jew asks again,
"what time is it?"
The old Jew looks up him, but still doesn't
answer.
The young Jew is puzzled, "Sir, forgive me for
interrupting you all the time, but I really
want to know what time it is. Why won't you
answer me?"
The old Jew turns toward the young man and says,
"Son, the next stop is the last on this route.
I don't know you, so you must be a stranger to
this land. If I answer you now, according to
Jewish tradition, I must invite you to my
home. You're handsome and I have a beautiful
daughter. You would fall in love with her and
you'd want to get married. And tell me, why
would I want a son-in-law who can't even afford
a fucking watch?"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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