Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says This joke struck me as funny after my pizza story.
A new Kelly wife, who had conceived, was in her 9th month of
pregnancy. She KNEW it was just a matter of time until she would be
going into labor.
That evening, just after supper, her husband received a phone call
from his boss. "Kelly, we need you to make a three-day trip to
California. Meet me at the airport at 6:30 tonight. I'll have all
the other material for you to take along with you."
Immediately after he hung up the phone, he explained to his VERY
pregnant wife that he had to go to the West Coast. "I apologize,
but I'm afraid if you go into labor, I won't be here to help you in
the delivery room."
"But honey," she replied, "the only way our obstetrician will work
is with both parties there."
"Hell with him," replied Kelly. "I got a better idea in mind for
that
-- and we will save about forty thousand dollars."
"OH?" the young thang asked, "And what is your money-saving
brainstorm THIS time gonna be?"
The husband replied, "Try this. It is a 4-step arrangement. 1.
YOU go into labor. Since this is your first child, you know it will
not be quick. 2. YOU call and order a pizza. Hell, tell 'em you
want it with everything on it! 3. When the driver gets here with
the pizza, hand him a $20 bill. 4. You grab him by the arm, and
pull him inside the house and lock the door."
"OH BROTHER!" the wife replied. "This has GOT to be the most
hairbrained scheme I heard in my life! What good will ordering a
pizza do?"
"Turn your brains on," Kelly replied. "Haven't you ever heard the
phrase, 'Domino's Pizza Delivers?' Well, make 'em DELIVER!"
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Receive 1 - 4 Family Friendly wallpapers in your email every day.
Vistas Flora Wildlife Domestic Animals Cars Aircraft Digital
Art & Fantasy Scenes
Plus many others. Special request welcomed.
No ads or pleadings to click on a link & vote for the group
Just wallpapers and nothing but wallpapers each & every day.
Sign up today & start receiving 1 - 4 wallpapers each day.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wolfswallpapers
Sign up email
Wolfswallpapers-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Banana Tree - Grow Your Own Delicious Bananas
Bananas are the perfect ingredient for cereal, pancakes, muffins and
bread. Five times the vitamin A, five times the iron, 3 times the
phosphorus and lots of potassium.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/bana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repairs Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife
interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's
been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it
look like I have a G. E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't
think so."
"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."
To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have
Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."
"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the
front door? They're about to break."
"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he
says.
"Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I
don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.
He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides
to go home and help out.
As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he
goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either
give him a blow job and fuck him, or bake him a cake."
He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
She replied, "Hellooooooo! Do you see Betty Crocker written on my
forehead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
It's Back
polish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c028.html
bored at the nudist colony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c029.html
options
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c030.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEN RECOMMENDATIONS FROM MEN TO WOMEN
1. Never buy a "new" brand of beer because "it was on sale."
2. If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't
mean we're not watching it.
3. Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want
one.
4. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
5. Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories
are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the
punchline.
6. The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's
just not crying. Big difference!
7. When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple "Yes" is fine.
8. What do you mean, "leering?" She's obstructing my view.
9. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
10. When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp,
saying "Oh, this is our exit, Honey" is not really necessary.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rotoshave - The World's #1 Electric Razor
Rotoshave gives you the closest shave you'll ever get in 90 seconds.
With its patented multi-angled blade technology and curved head
design it adjusts to your shape while giving you a safe and smooth
shave.
Offer includes two cartridges, travel case, personal grooming kit
and demonstration DVD.
Get More Info
http://buffaloschips.com/roto
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fart Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Farter Chart .... Types Of Farters
VAIN : One who loves the smell of his own fart
AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart
LAZY : Just fizzle
AMIABLE : Likes o smell others' farts
PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant
SHY : Blushes when he farts silently
IRREVERENT : Farts in church
SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present
CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time
SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts for later sniffing
STINGY : Belches to save his ass hole
TIMID : Jumps when he farts
CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest
UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself
FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours
BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others
NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart
MISERABLE : Can't fart at all
CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to
go
GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart
SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog
DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell
CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles
FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts
BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others
DUMB : Enjoys others' farts, thinks they are his own
CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating
WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit
DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head
MUSICAL : Tenor or bass, clear as a bell, smells like shit and
sounds
like hell
ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3
times
SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear
IMPUDENT : Farts out loud and then laughs
ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the
pollution
HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason
DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog
THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve
ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private
STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter
INTELLECTUAL : Analyzes the smell of his neighbors' fart
WIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion
SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers
SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying
AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes
MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing Pillow Helps Correct Your Sleep Posture
The SideSleeper Pro Pillow was developed by a chiropractor and
designed to give you the proper support while you sleep for a better
nights rest. With an improved sleep posture you will wake up with
less stiffness and feel more refreshed. The SideSleeper Pro comes
complete with a 30-day money back guarantee.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/sidesl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This morning someone called saying they were conducting a survey
about Television, and I agreed to answer their questions. At some
point she asked, "Could you tell me what you think of sex on the
television?"
Quite truthfully, I replied, " I prefer the older models. I think
it has become extremely uncomfortable, especially when you got one
of the newer models, that are much wider than deep." She muttered
"Pervert"
and hung up. What did I say?
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. Bachelor: One complained
to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this
month, I'm going to lose my fuckin' arse." Too late he noticed a
beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he
apologized for his bad language. "That's okay," the blonde replied,
"If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my fuckin'
car."
The local Parent Teachers Association is running a lottery. "Third
prize-a 32-inch color television-goes to Mrs. Carson!" "Second
prize-a cookbook-goes to Mr. Jennings!" "Wait a minute!" grouse's
Joe Jennings to his wife. "How come Myrtle Carson gets a big color
television as third prize and I get a lousy cookbook for second?"
"That's because the cookbook is written by the president of the PTA,
and she's even signed it," explains Mrs. Jennings. "Big deal!"
whispers Joe. "F*ck the president of the PTA! "But that's first
prize."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ab Coaster - The Fast Track to Great Abs
The Ab Coaster system will get you incredible abs faster than ever.
It's the revolutionary fitness product that is changing the way
you'll work your abs. No more crunches, no more getting on the
floor, no more strain on your neck or back.
http://buffaloschips.com/abco
View Web Version
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oral Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was approached by a co-worker at lunch who invited him out
for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would
never go for it, that she did not allow him to go drinking with
the guys after work.
The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem:
"When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down
under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give
her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention
that you were out late with the boys."
So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself.
Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the
sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral
sex.
She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while,
he realized he had to take a leak, so he got out of bed and
walked down the hall to the bathroom.
When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to
see his wife sitting on the john.
"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pajama Jeans - As Seen on The View!
Just because youre busy doesnt mean you cant look sharp! Put your
best self out there and wear your Pajama Jeans!
Available in 8 sizes for only $39.99 plus P&H.
Order now and receive free grey crewneck tee.
http://buffaloschips.com/pajeans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 2
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Gp/SiteMap.html
Marlene-In loving Memory
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/IN-MEMORY-OF-CODY.HTML
Carolyn w/ My Wish Came True ~ Elvis
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/mywishcametrue.html
John w/ Mansion Over The Hilltop
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/mansion/
~~~~~The Altar~~~~~
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/thealtar.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Mardi Gras, its history and origin and culture
http://www.theholidayspot.com/mardigras/origin.htm
Ancient Worlds
http://www.ancientsites.com/
Gasoline Price Humor!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gasoline.html
High Tech Toys!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Windows 7 SP1 Via Mike
http://tinyurl.com/Winin7SP1
Tandem Twinkies~Wings
http://www.simplysally.com/twinkies/index.php
Pop Peeper E mail Notifier
http://www.poppeeper.com:80/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
WORMS!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worms.html
The Real Bambi And Thumper!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Amazing cucumber vine - Grow your own long, slender and crispy
giant cucumbers.
Bright green skin so thin, tender & non-bitter. Eat them fresh off the
vine or fresh sliced into salads. Arrow straight cukes in
only 50 days.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/cuke
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Nandos Chips NAND
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhakjjk.htm
Naughty Song From The Bible Belt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjkaj.htm
Never Trust A Women
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjhkjbg.htm
New Zealand Anti Drinking Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhghggv.htm
Oh Shit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjghkjhg.htm
An Intellectual Blonde
http://www.buffaloschips.com/klalka.htm
Asking For Directions
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qiwiopq.htm
Baby & Dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sshssm.htm
Baxter Black So Lucky To Be An American
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksksks.htm
Beer Pong
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jaskal.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Task Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Ask A Man To Do Something
Always remember these five important rules when asking a man to do
something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
1a. Then give him a Blow Job
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with
the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or four
hours, max.
3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will usually do
just fine. Or, offer to cook him something that doesn't have a
peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote
on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again
for another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to not give him a blow job.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or "do
as I say and no one will get hurt".
7. When all else fails ... Blow Job.
OK, seven rules.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
clear coat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkvfdvnxc.htm
holy dress
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nkxgxklvx.htm
bug
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kfkxvx.htm
christmas sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfdkfgjxkf.htm
bugs and lola
http://www.buffaloschips.com/m,fksdfds.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow of Harold
Whose john was the size of a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"How's this for a start?
My balls are outside in a barrel."
___________________________________
There was a young fool name of Raines,
To get laid, he'd go to great pains,
Never a genius,
He thought with his penis,
But his prick was as dumb as his brains.
___________________________________
There was a young fellow named Sweeney,
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch,
Had a catch that would latch;
She could only be screwed by Houdini.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Driving in the snow...
YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT BECAUSE WE CARE
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy.
If you don't slow down and pay attention you could slide into the
asshole in front of you!
Be careful this winter!
This has been a public service announcement.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1984 Recovery
From the Siblings Point of View
Rudy: Katie we have some things that might help you if you get lost
again.
Katie: Okay.
Sandi: I have this neon jacket for you to wear. It will reflect lights
and will help at night if you get lost.
Rudy: I have this GPS locator that I WOULD LIKE TO IMBED IN YOUR SKIN,
but will just hang around your collar.
Val: I have this smallist flashlight that also will hang around your
collar that will help at night if you get lost.
Sandi: I have this book. it is about family and the importance of
family.
Rudy: Yeah I wanted to get you a shock collar, but I got voted down. You
need to stay home, stay in the yard. Katie head down: I was scared. I
thought I was going to die. I missed all of you, but I was confused and
lost. I sometimes just can't help myself. I feel myself wanting to run
and run.
Val: I know that feeling, but run in the yard.
Sandi: You are ten years old Katie. You have had tick fever twice. I
saved you from being attacked by three dogs. You survived that spinal
problem twice that should have killed you. Mom and dad spent thousands
on you. Most people would have put you to sleep. You went missing in
Guthrie for a week. You have used all of your lives up Katherine.
Katie: Sniff sniff. I know. I am lucky to have you guys as my family.
Rudy: And father.he is your biggest supporter.
Katie: Waah! I know. I will fight this urge in me, I will try.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment