Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Strange thing happened today. I got a call from some
company wanting to qualify me for discount diabetic
testing supplies. In itself that isn't strange, even being
on the no-call list or that it seemed to be someone of
Mid-Eastern or Indian descent. What was strange is that
outside of my doctor, pharmacist, and a few thousand friends
I have never posted anything about being diabetic or signed up
for any offers. With the new privacy restrictions, how did this
company get my number and name? If one has it will it be
like credit card companies with everyone calling? Thanks a
lot whoever, I hope the same happens to you.
Another strange thing is with gas prices, we have dropped
about 5 cents a gallon from their highs and crude about 5
dollars. Our spending is being blamed for a drop in the dollar
and an increase in gas prices and unrest in the Middle East.
So why after announcing more spending and Iran pulling
maneuvers off Israel is the price going down. True everyone
is talking about budget cutting, but so far it as been little more
than talk, because whether you are the Secretary of the Navy
or the distinguished gentleman from Nebraska everyone
wants to see money flow into their areas so they can increase
or hold onto their power.
Kind of things you wonder about at 0300.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
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Random Chips
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Porn star John Holmes (AKA Johnny Wadd) is best remembered for his
involvement in the Wonderland murders. The movie Boogie Nights is
reputed to be based on his life and the notorious murder. Holmes
once appeared in a stage production of Peer Gynt. Interviewed on
opening night, he bragged that he had had sex with every member of
the Peer Gynt cast, male and female, and claimed he had them all
from the rear. He was quoted as saying, "It may be Grieg to you, but
its all Greek to me."
Absent-minded is hardly the word for the pretty secretary who left
her clothes at the office and took her boss to the cleaner.
Showering after a game of tennis, Lance happened to look over at
Rod's genitals. "Christ!" he exclaimed, "that's the biggest dick
I've ever seen!" "Rod smiled. "It wasn't always that big. It grew
because I rubbed it with butter every day." Determined to improve
his own endowment, Lance went home to do likewise. The following
week he and Rod played tennis again. "How's it going with your ....
home improvements?" Rod asked. "Terrible," Lance said. "I've been
greasing my dick every day, but it keeps shrinking!" "Really?" Are
you sure you're using enough butter?" "Butter hell. I'm allergic to
dairy products, so I've been using Crisco." Lance frowned. "Of
course it's getting smaller. Crisco is shortening!"
The nymphomaniac went to the Indian reservation because they offered
her big bucks.
A Jewish lady is sitting at home when the phone rings. "Hello" she
says. "Hello" says the male voice at the other end. "I'll bet you'd
really like it if I came round, ripped off your skirt and blouse and
bra and panties, then threw you to the floor and made hot, sweaty
love to you...." The Jewish lady replies, "From 'hello' you can tell
all this."
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Bear Chips
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A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as
chaplains
to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would
get
together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all
that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led
to
another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out
into
the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I
went
into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read
to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and
began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled
him
and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop
is
coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and
both
legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone
oratory,
he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out
and
I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY
WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy
soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent
the
rest of the day praising Jesus...Hallelujah!
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying
in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked
up
and said: "Looking back on it, ... circumcision may not have been the
best
way to start."
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Rabbi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Rabbi's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the
congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the Rabbi's
family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After six children, this started to get expensive and the
congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the Rabbi's
expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much
the Rabbi's additional children were costing the shul, and how much
more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the Rabbi rose from his
chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God and we will take as
many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back of the shul, little old Mrs. Goldberg struggled to stand,
and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God,
but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bar drunk was bragging about his sexual exploits. "You know," he
said, "I once banged a cute little oriental stewardess right there
in
the plane during an overnight flight. Hey, I really put on a
sustained performance that time! I was so damn good they oughta make
a picture about it. Let's see...what would be a good title?"
The bartender yawned and said, "How about Thirty Seconds Over
Tokyo?"
~~~
One day Pebbles Flintstone was in bed with Fred and Wilma. They were
both naked. Pebbles sees Fred's penis and says, "Daddy, what's
that?"
and Fred says "Th-that's...um... that's daddy's rock."
A little while later Pebbles looks down and sees Wilma's vagina.
"What's that, mommy?" she asks. "Oh.. that.. that's mommy's rock
grinder."
All of a sudden Pebbles sits up and says, "I get it! Daddy puts his
rock
into mommy's rock grinder and out comes pebbles!"
~~~~~
Patient : Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get
the urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit
tin. Do you know what's wrong with me?
Doctor : Yes ... you're fucking crackers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Dog Chips
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A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they
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"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, "The dog on
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him to the doctor."
"They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?"
"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl,
"...and they'll screw you every time!"
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Why Are You Here?
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Joan w/ Deck of cards
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Our Valuable Anchor
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Bending Trial
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Bobcat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John, Greg and Paul made a competition to see who would make a girl
scream louder in bed. John one went in, while Greg and Paul stayed
out and listened to the girl moan for a bit. Then Greg went in and
the girl screamed a little bit harder. When Paul went in, the girl
screamed! About an hour later the girl came out moaning. John asked
"Wow, how did you do that?" Paul, all tired and wet replied, "I
simply used my head."
Q: What type of music sounds like periods in a woman's life?
A: Rag Time (Stan Kegel)
Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her
youngest daughter walks in. "Mum, where do babies come from?" "Well
dear, a mummy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night,
they go into their room, they kiss and hug and have sex." The
daughter looks puzzled. "That means the daddy puts his penis in the
mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby." "Oh I see, but the other
night when I came into your room you had daddy's penis in your
mouth. What do you get when you do that?" "Jewelry, dear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman from Latch,
Who jacked herself off with a match.
She got so excited,
The damn thing ignited,
And burnt all the hair off her snatch.
______________________________________
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn't have been,
If his father has seen
That the tip of his condom was torn.
______________________________________
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in
their new apartment. Coming home from work one night the landlady
met Dave in the hallway and said, "I have a couple of extra tickets
to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride
would like to have them?"
"I'll ask her," Dave responded. He opened the door to his apartment
and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist'
tonight?"
"No way!!," his bride retorted, "If you show me one more trick with
that thing, I'm going home to my Mother!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1980
The Adventures of Katie (Part Six)
Tuesday
Katie wakes up from under the porch.
Katie: I am hungry, thirsty and cold and I have gone only 10
percent of my journey..ack!
Well off to the snow bank and get from water at least and
continue on.
Katie trots off. a little wobbly but onward.
A few hours later. South Haven, Kansas..
Katie: There has to be a McDonalds here or something.
Ack there is nothing in this town.
A car pulls over.
Want a ride? I have heated seats?
Katie: Oh you are an angel.
Lady: Let me see your tag. Oh you are 20 miles from your home.
I bet your people are missing you.
Ring ring ring
Diana: Hello
Lady: I have your dog.
Thud!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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