Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Interesting situation, I had two TV's die tonight. One had a
definite bad solder
joint problem where it would blip off after it warmed up. It died
completely so
it was replaced with a spare and then sandy complained that
something was
wrong with her TV. It was whining with no pictures and then went to
a honking
sound and I decided that it was toast and replaced it with another
TV that
someone had dropped on the ground and chipped part of the case off.
It
still works well even though it does turn itself off sometimes when
you
change channels. With everyone getting flat screens, Freecycle
always has
a few TV's floating around and sometimes you can find one with a
remote.
Usually I would hang onto these to see if they could be repaired or
might fix
themselves but I don't have the room and I am sorting for a load to
the dump
soon.
With the help of a nutritionist I managed to gain 5 pounds this past
week
and I thought I was eating healthier if not less. Back to the
drawing board
on that one or at least for an attitude check and to get the rest of
the family
on board with helping me on my diet or at least not sanbotaging it.
Enjoy the chips and have a great weekend... buffalo
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Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks,
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Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat
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wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the
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Alcohol Chips
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Bear Chips
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A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear.
Realising his mistake, he reports the incident to the local ranger.
A week later, he gets a letter in the mail, telling him that he is
being taken to court by the park service. Arriving at court, he
explains to the judge what happened, and the judge comes to a
decision.
"As you didn't kill this protected species intentionally, I don't
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still a serious error on your part, and I intend to deal with you by
way of a fine, based upon the body weight of the animal".
"For every one pound of body weight, you will be fined $10".
Consulting his records, the judge finds the weight of the bear, as
recorded by the park services, and calls for a calculator. After a
minute of two, he calls the hunter to the bench, and gives his
judgment; a fine of $9,000.
The representative of the park services jumps to his feet, and
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respect, I believe you've made a mistake in your calculations".
"We weighed the animal shortly after it was shot, and it weighed a
total of 1000 pounds". "Surely, based on that measurement, the fine
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.
Harveythefrogprince
Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a
church.
?
A blonde patient was being counseled by the doctor at the local
health clinic. "Until the penicillin cleans out your infection, you
can't have any relations whatsoever!" The young girl replied,
"Okay,but what about friends and neighbors?"
?
"So he asked me what I wanted, and I told him, 'A long, strong,
stiff one.'" "Oh, my!" "Yeah, but you should have seen his face when
I said, 'I meant a drink!'"
?
What does a blonde call a blow job in a Honda?
Her Civic duty
?
How can a girl tell when her date suffers from premature
ejaculation?
When he comes walking in the door.
?
Why do nurses make poor lovers?
Because they always wait for the swelling to go down!
?
How does a lesbian hold her liquor?
By the ears.
?
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of assorted creams!
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Movie Links
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Finish Jackie
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a
problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know to say one thing'
'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.....
'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have
two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the
Bible...
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the
cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no
time.'
'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the
solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's
house.... As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...
Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them...
After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence...
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'Put the beads away, Frank,
Our prayers have been answered!
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A neurotic young playboy named Gleason
Liked boys for no tangible reason
A frontal lobotomy
All but cured him of sodomy
But ruined his plans for the season.
A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
A singer named Ursula Greville
Had a lousy affair with the devil
Her bush was so thick
It obstructed his prick
So he sent for the Barber of Seville
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer
hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to
their house, and found his mother in the kitchen
cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table,
let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have
something to tell you: I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response,
and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure
she'd heard him, when she turned away from the
pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay --
doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in
your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then
suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the
head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER
complain about my cooking again!!!"
andy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1975
The Adventures of Katie Part One
Sunday Feb 6th
Mom and Dad are heading off to church and have left the
four doggies in the backyard as they will be gone for a short time.
The weather is nice and the snow is gone.
Rudy: Hey let's have a game of touch football.
Val: Yes, that's sounds like fun.
Katie: Nah, I think I will climb the fence and go exploring.
Sandi: Katie, someday that will get you in trouble. Why don't you
stay here with us, your family and have fun?
Katie: You should know me by now sis. I have to see what is on the
other side of the fence, the hill, whatever. I will be back before
you
know it.
Rudy: She is an idiot.
Val: I would like to go with her.
Smack!
Sandi: Do not think like that!
Later after church.
BJ and Diana drive by the house.
BJ: I only see three dogs in the backyard.
Diana: I guess Katie is up to her old tricks again.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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