Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hi there from the Great White North. Winter returned up
here last weekend after a couple of days of fog the likes
of which I hadn't seen since California. My Suburban
barely fits in my yard but I couldn't see the street from the
front window. Fortunately when it started to freeze enough
time passed that there wasn't any ice.
We spent the weekend putting the house back in shape
after getting Buffy moved in and hauling stuff up to storage.
The temperatures during the day weren't too bad but the
wind was terrible. When it starts to blow garbage cans off the
porch that are full and have a ten pound rock on top, you know
it is windy. There hasn't been a lot of snow in fact Chicago
has a had a lot more but it is still colder and my parking spot
is like a bobsled track as you slide into a set of tracks and
glide into the snow bank in front of the house barely missing the
tree and snow blower.
We finally got a Domino's Pizza to replace the one that
closed about 5 years ago just around the corner. I know
that it isn't gourmet pizza but I have been eating it since
College when you could order a large cheese pizza for
2.99 on Sunday night when they didn't serve a meal. That
was supposed to get you to try the cuisine in East Lansing
which usually translated to pizza or burgers. Over the years
I got away from thicker pizzas and I liked Domino's thin
crust loaded with toppings or a cheeseburger pizza. The old
Domino's was able to get a pizza here in just over 15 minutes
and it was so hot the cheese would burn the roof of your
mouth. There is about an extra 5 minutes drive time to the
new store but it does put it in a more central location
near Caesar's and Pizza Hut and I imagine my pizza will be
just as hot.
A1Fun
Wanna laugh till you cry?
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Canary Chips
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HOW TO GET OUT OF THE CAGE
There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one
day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...
She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying
to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and
said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..."Hey I know
how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to
tell her...
He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."
So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said,
"Gimme some and I'll tell you."
Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex...
only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way
out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...
Two days later the female was still trying to find a way
out when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I
feel sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and
I'll tell you how to get out."
So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll
tell ya."By this time she was distraught and willing to do
anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be
told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"
That night the cage was covered and the female was still
looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came off
and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female
was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!!!!
Do you know how she got out????
scroll down
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GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
My dad is in the hospital so no postman's corner for a few days. He will
be out soon.
Signed
The Postman's Daughter
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Western Chips
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Roy Rogers and Trigger wended their way home after a most
satisfying day at work tending the boundary fences on Roy's large
spread. About a mile from the homestead Roy noticed a trail of
dust rising from the trail that led from home to the main gate.
As he approached, he saw that it was a large squad of cavalry
soldiers led by Major Ted. As he came up to the column of troops
Major Ted called, "Whoa!" and addressed the famous cowboy.
"Good evening, Mr. Rogers," he said.
"Good evening, Major," replied Roy Rogers.
"Are you' heading home, Sir?" asked the Major.
"I am indeed, yessir, I'm looking forward to a real meal.'"
"Just before you go, Mr. Rogers, I'm afraid I have some bad news
for you."
"Like what, Major?"
"Well, sir, the Indians have been on the rampage over at your
homestead."
"My God! I'd better get over there right away!"
"Just a minute Roy, there's more. There's not much left of your
house I'm afraid"
"That's terrible, I've got to get home to my family"
"Hold on Roy, there's more. I'm afraid they scalped your five
children and appear to have raped the girls beforehand."
"Those savages!! I've got to get home to my wife, she must be
beside herself with grief!"
"Wait Roy, I'm sorry but there's more. They also raped your wife
and mother before killing them. All the cattle are gone and they
put an arrow through your dog Bullet. Most of the village is
burned to the ground and they put poison in your water supply."
"Oh my God! This is the worst day of my life! But still, I'd
better get over there and see if there's anything at all I can
do"
"Hold on, Roy - there's just one more thing . . ."
"Yes Major?"
"Before you go. How's about a little song for the boys?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Nun Chips
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A priest and a nun are on their way home from a convention when
suddenly, their car dies.
The priest says to the nun "Well Sister, I'm afraid we are going
to have to go to a hotel for the night."
The nun just smiles, and says, " OK, Father."
They arrive at the hotel to find that there is only one room
available. The priest says 'Well Sister, I'm afraid we are going
to have to share a room. I'm sure that under the circumstances,
God won't mind. You sleep in the bed and I'll sleep on the
couch."
The nun just smiles and says, "OK, Father."
They check into the room and prepare for bed, the priest on the
couch, and the nun in the bed. The priest turns out the lights
and goes to sleep.
Ten minutes later the nun says, "Father, I'm cold."
The priest says, "OK Sister, I'll get you an extra blanket." He
gets her a blanket and goes back to sleep.
Ten minutes later, the nun says, "Father, I'm STILL cold." So the
priest gets up, gets her another blanket, and goes back to sleep
again.
Ten minutes later, the nun says, "Father, I'm VERY cold. You
don't suppose that, under the circumstances, God would mind if we
acted like husband and wife for just one night?"
The priest answered, " No. I don't suppose he would - GET YOUR
OWN DAMN BLANKET! "
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Wife Chips
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The Top 14 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her
head,
trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -
(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his
flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the
deal.
Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab
one
and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will
cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in
marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work
another
seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis
29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and
get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll
definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain
(Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -
Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I
have seen a... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question
your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -
Samson (Judges 14:1-)
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons,
though). - David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a
good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or
Leviticus,
example in Ruth)
14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon
(1 Kings 11:1-3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
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Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally
one club and two balls.
2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole
and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play
begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result
in being denied permission to play again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire
the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds
and bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being
played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment
for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at
all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course
temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely
tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate
means of play when this is the case.
11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled
particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous
players have been known to become irate if they discover someone
else is playing what they considered a private course.
12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any
bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before
attempting to play the backside.
14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to
play the same hole several times in one match.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 1
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Cn/C_M_3_.html
Before I Die Via Juanita
http://wtv-zone.com/nywoman/page44.html
Ladies Unleashed!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ladies.html
A Love Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestory.html
~~~~Walk With Me~~~~
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/walkwithme.htm
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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Surfin Surfari
NASA - Home Via Dianne
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The International Home Remedies Project
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Gasoline Price Humor!
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High Tech Toys!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
St. Pats Scraps
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Blending 2 Images with Masks
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Police Graphics
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Blonde Arm Wrestling
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Blonde That Started It All
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Boy And His Train
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Brains
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Burglary Commercial
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My family Reunion
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National Anthem Cactus
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Negotiating a Real Piece of Work
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New Energy Drink
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New Guy In Prison
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Lincoln Chips
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A friend visited President Lincoln and found him to be in a foul
mood. "I'm afraid I have made Senator Wade of Ohio, my enemy for
life," Lincoln said. "Wade was here just now trying to convince
me that I should dismiss Grant, and, in response to something he
said, I remarked that that reminded me of a story."
"What did Wade say?" the friend asked.
"He wasn't happy," Lincoln answered. "'Everything with you is
story, story, story!' Senator Wade said. He said I was the
father of every military blunder that we've made, and that I am
on the road to hell and I am not a mile off this minute."
"What did you say to that?" the friend asked.
"I just said to him," the President chuckled, "'Senator, that is
just about the distance from here to the Capitol, is it not?'"
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Toon Chips
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boobs
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Boone Crockett
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Boone Crockett2
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Limerick Chips
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A Salvation lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
_____________________________
Young Alice is known for her poise
During quiet foreplay with the boys.
But then when she has 'em
At the brink of orgasm,
You can't hear yourself think for the noise.
_____________________________
In the check out at the food store
A nun was advising the poor:
"Hey you up in front!
That's too many items ,you cunt!
And no food stamps for beer ya dumb whore."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A 13 year old was watching a movie on cable TV. A man ripped off a
woman's blouse and said, "I want what I want when I want it!" The boy,
turned on by the scene and the love-making which followed, finished
watching the movie, and decided to try what he had just witnessed on the
girl next door, a classmate. He went over to her house, found that her
parents weren't home from work yet, ripped off her blouse; and then
said, "I want what I want when I want it!" The girl stared at him and
coolly replied... "You'll get what I got when I get it!"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1983
Recovery
Katie: I need a few things to recover from my ordeal father.
BJ: I will do what I can. What do you need?
Katie unfurls a list that reaches the floor and starts to read..
Katie: First I need a new cell phone, mine was smashed when
the car hit me. Secondly, I need one of those recliners that lifts
you up when you are feeling bad. I need a masseuse to come in
every day for a while to give me a massage to ease my muscles.
I need a better diet, steaks every day will help.
BJ: Katerine we must remember you put yourself in this situation
by escaping the backyard, but not coming home when you should
have. So I think we will cancel most of those requests.
Katie: So I guess a chauffer is too much to ask?
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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