Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
OLD SAILORS
Old sailors sit and chew the fat
'bout how things used to be
of the things they've seen
and places they've been
When they ventured out to sea.
They remember friends from long ago
and the times they had back then
of the money they've spilled
and the beer they've swilled
In their days as sailing men.
Their lives are lived in days gone by
with thoughts that forever last
of cracker-jack hats
and bell-bottom blues
and the good times in their past.
They recall long nights with a moon so bright
far out on a lonely sea
and the thoughts they had
as youthful lads
When their lives were unbridled and free.
They know so well how their hearts would swell
when the flag fluttered proud and free
and the stars and the stripes
made such beautiful sights
as they plowed through an angry sea.
They talk of the bread ole' cookie would bake
and the shrill of the boatsun's pipe
and how the salt spray fell
like sparks out of hell
when a storm struck in the night.
They remember mates already gone
who forever hold a spot
In the stories of old
when sailors were bold
and lubbers were a pitiful lot.
They rode their ships through many a storm
when the sea was showing its might
And the mighty waves
might be digging their graves
as they sailed on through the night.
They speak of nights in a bawdy house
somewhere on a foreign shore
and the beer they'd down
as they gathered around
cracking jokes with a busty whore.
Their sailing days are gone away
never more will they cross the brow
But they have no regrets
for they know they've been blessed
'cause they honored their sacred vow.
Their numbers grow less with each passing day
as their chits in this life are called in
But they've nothing to lose
for they've all paid their dues
and they'll sail with their shipmates again.
I've heard them say before getting underway
that there's still some sailin' to do
and they'll exclaim with a grin
that their ship has come in
and the Lord is commanding the crew.
Larry L. Dunn
Just a poem today... enjoy the chips ... buffalo
A newsletter you may find useful
**Attention Group & List Owners**
Looking for new members?
Come join our Ad-Swap Group.
We accept both "Clean" & "Adult" ads.
No X Rated or porn groups/list allowed.
You choose how many ads you want to swap, from 1 to 7.
A "template" is given, to show who to swap with each week.
You can save it in your favorites...(it will change each week),
along with a
separate page showing the swap members ads.
Click here to join
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/CleanAdSwaps/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pajama Jeans - As Seen on The View!
Just because youre busy doesnt mean you cant look sharp! Put your
best self out there and wear your Pajama Jeans!
Available in 8 sizes for only $39.99 plus P&H.
Order now and receive free grey crewneck tee.
http://buffaloschips.com/pajeans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think my sister's marriage will last. Her new husband has a
foot fetish, and on their honeymoon, he got off on the wrong foot.
Conversation between wife and husband over chessboard: "This reminds
me when we were dating." "We never played chess in those days,
Gladys." "No, but even then it took you two hours to make a move."
Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage? She was
strapped for cash.
Two lesbians who would like to have a child visit the local adoption
agency. The agency does some background research. When they are
completed, the couple returns and is told, "Sorry, we don't give
minors to lickers
What do you call a faggot in the navy?
A Rear Admiral.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What do a Speedo and a cheap hotel have in common?
No ball room.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is
to cluck
defiance
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
doctor said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b063.html
a new set
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b064.html
clever dick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b065.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first guy said, "You know, I'm really lucky. When my wife makes
love,
she's like an acrobat. She can get into the most incredible
positions."
The second guy said, "I'm lucky, too. My wife is like a world-class
pianist
when we have sex. She's got the most talented hands you can
imagine."
No one spoke for a moment. Then the first guy said to the third
guy,
"George how's you wife in bed?"
George took a sip of his beer, then replied, "I guess you could say
that my
wife makes love like a chess player."
"A chess player?"
"Yeah. Every twenty minutes, she moves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mister Steamy - Steam Laundry Ball
Get soft, de-wrinkled clothes without an iron or dryer sheets.
Mister Steamy is the revolutionary new dryer ball with the power of
steam. Just add water, toss it in the dryer and as the dryer heats
up the ball steams up.
Turn your dryer into a wrinkle releasing machine.
Order today and we'll double your offer.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/steamb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pane Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pastor of a church was taking his first trip away on a Sunday,
and he asked another pastor to come in and preach the service for
him.
The substitute pastor agreed to come. He was quite young, just out
of seminary, and this was his first time preaching.
When he got up to speak on Sunday, he tried to explain to the
congregation why he'd come, and give them some comfort about it. He
pointed up to the stained glass windows to illustrate this. "You
see where there's a missing pane, and there's a piece of cardboard
over it? That's sort of what I'm doing. I'm just filling in the
space until your pastor returns."
He went on about this a little bit, then went into his sermon. The
young substitute pastor gave a wonderful, inspired talk that Sunday.
After the service, a lovely old woman came up to him, took his hand,
and said, "Pastor, don't you ever let anyone say that you're like
that piece of cardboard. Believe me, you are the real pane!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoloft Lawsuit Claim Center
Have you or a loved one used Zoloft?
You may be entitled to financial compensation!
FDA warning the use of Zoloft has been linked to serious side
effects.
Click for your Free Private Case Evaluation:
http://buffaloschips.com/zolo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A white guy is involved in a horrible car accident and is partly
mangled in the wreckage. Among the other injuries, and perhaps the
most traumatic, was that his penis had been severed. Anyway, a few
days later in the hospital once his condition was stabilized, a
doctor came to see him about picking out a new penis to be sewn on
later.
"Wow, I didn't even know they could do that," said the patient.
"Well, all you have to do is look through this catalog and pick the
one you want and we can take care of the rest," the doctor assured
him.
So, the guy starts flipping through the catalog and finds some
prospects in the first few pages. As he gets near the end though,
he comes across some abnormally large options. "Man! I didn't know
they got that big!" he cried. Then turned the page and again, "Holy
shit, that's even bigger!"
The next page had an even bigger member that he could choose.
Filled with excitement he yells down the hall, "Hey Doc, do any of
these big ones come in white?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NuBrilliance Microdermabrasion
Get professional microdermabrasion in the comfort of your own home.
NuBrilliance is a non-invasive aesthetic treatment that exfoliates
dead and flaking cells on the surface of the skin and rejuvenates
the layers underneath. Renew congested, dull, sun-damaged skin while
improving the elasticity of the skin. The dual action system
minimizes fine lines to cellulite to enlarged pores and more.
Get amazing results with NuBrilliance - try it for 30 days.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/microd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Fourth Grade concert is fast approaching and Johnny has still
not decided what he will do. Little Sarah is going to do a piano
solo, Mikey will recite a poem, but Johnny can't come up with
anything.
Finally, his frustrated teacher is relieved when he tells her he has
worked out his act.
Come the night of the concert, all the proud parents fill the hall
and watch as Sarah, in her prettiest dress, tickles the ivories to
rapturous applause.
Then Mikey steps out in his best suit and recites his poems to the
delight of the audience.
Finally, out comes Johnny, in checked shirt and denim overalls. He
steps up to the microphone and says: "Ladies and Gentlemen. My
uncle owns a farm and every holiday my family visits him there. His
wife, my aunt Martha, always cooks a real down-home country meal for
us all, and we feast and stuff ourselves silly, for days on end.
Tonight, I would like to share with you my impression of some of the
many sounds I hear on my uncle's farm. Here is the first: "Johnny!
Why don't you get your ass off the shitter and give someone else a
chance?!""
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP SNORING TONIGHT, GAURANTEED!
Say Goodbye To Snoring! Featured on CBS Host Morley Safer's American
Medical Review Television Series, the My Snoring Solution Jaw
Supporter is the consumers choice for comfort. Voted The Worlds Most
Comfortable and Effective Anti-snoring Product
Opens up throat airways and treats the symptoms of obstructive sleep
apnea; depression; daytime sleepiness; limb-jerking, punching and
kicking while sleeping, and more. Machine washable.
Limited Time: Buy One, Get One Free For just $119.97 plus shipping
and handling you can order 2 Jaw Supporters.The free unit is great
for travel or to give as a gift to a loved one
Order now and also receive the American Medical Review DVD, PLUS the
7 Steps to Sleep Success FREE! Only $119.97 complete with a 90 Day
Money Back Guarantee. Stop snoring tonight so everybody gets a good
night sleep! Order Now!
http://buffaloschips.com/snorer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Valentine-Long Ago
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/ValentineAgo.html
Rick w/ Closer To The Heart (Valentines)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/CloseToHeart.html
Marlene/Gospel Music/ Down to the river to Pray/
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/DownToTheRiver.html
Ultimate Freedom
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/UltimateFreedom.htm
Valentine
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/valentine1.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Microscopic!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/micro.html
Truth In Advertising
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads.html
Jesus Laughing Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/Jesusart.html
Free Hearing Test
http://freehearingtest.info/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bios Beep Codes
http://www.computerhope.com/beep.htm
http://www.pcguide.com/ts/x/sys/beep/index.htm
Heart Maker
http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/
Web Design~ New~Color Find Tool
http://simplysally.com/tut/BASIC/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFz-FMj-9Ps
Kitty Korner
http://www.dailykitten.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Microcam - Capture Any Moment Any Time
One of the world's smallest DV camcorders from Bell + Howell, a
trusted brand in photo technology for over 100 years. It's so tiny,
yet records high resolution digital video and still photos with
sound. It's super wide lens lets you capture all the action. The
micro cam is not only manually operated, but is sound and motion
activated too.
Payment plans available - order yours today.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/26ebmw8
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Get Flashed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010902.htm
Little Brother
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010903.htm
Mohammed Brand Condoms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010904.htm
Man In Line
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010905.htm
Mechanic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010906.htm
He Is Alive
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsssj.htm
Incident Action
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjsk.htm
Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsaaj.htm
PD Budget
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaaah.htm
Great tequila Commercials
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaajs.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Janet," asked the Sunday school bible teacher, "Tell the class,
please who was the first man?" "I'd rather die first!" she snapped.
"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement?" "Well,
although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a
lot to be desired."
I think I'm going to give up on being a flasher and retire --
although I might try to stick it out for another year.
Vinnie and Hank are drinking, when Vinnie leans over and starts
stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my
wife's pussy." Hank strokes it himself and says, "You're right."
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.
What's blue and comes in Brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What's the slogan for the new tampon?
"We may not be number one, but we're still up there!"
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School
reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bj sand art
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lpoiuytere.htm
bj bar
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwertyu.htm
bj discount
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnjhkguil.htm
burger king
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lpoiop.htm
black daddy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/llkllll.htm
blame
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnmnnjkl.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boobs
Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace
Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip out
They stay put just where they are
And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt
But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go
Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"
Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me
Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned
There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep
Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute
Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru
In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow
Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while
And there's my sweetie who totally accepts me
For he loves each and every little bit
He says "stay as you are
You're the most beautiful by far"
As he gazes into my eyes not my tits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The prostitute stood on the Nashville street corner when she saw a
gentleman walk up to her.
"Well, hello there," she said.
The man, who wasn't used to talking to strangers, said, "Hi. What
are you doing in a neighborhood like this?"
She replied, "I fulfill wishes!"
"Oh," the man said, "and how do you do that?"
"Make a wish," she told him, "a penny for your wish!"
The man blushed slightly, and then he said, "I wish I was in bed
with you!"
She got a smile on her face. Then he said, "Hey, nothing happened."
"I told you it was 'a penny for your thoughts' -- what I didn't tell
you is that it takes a hundred dollars to act 'em out!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1976
The Adventures of Katie (Part Two)
In the house..
Ring ring
BJ: I will get it.
BJ: Hello. Oh hello Kristie. You saw Katie? Wonderful.oh, that's
not good. Well thank you. Bye.
BJ: Kristie was walking her Huskie when Katie came up to say hello
to her and her dog. Well her dog took exception and attacked Katie
and Katie ran off.
Diana: Was she hurt?
BJ: Nobody knows.
Ring Ring!
BJ: Hello. Oh that's not good. Well thank you. Bye.
BJ: That was Kristie's daughter, she was backing out of her
driveway
and she heard a bump and she thinks she hit Katie with her car. She
saw Katie running down the street towards the hospital.
Diana: Oh no! We need to find her. She has been attacked by a dog
and now hit by a car. She is scared.
BJ: And when she is scared or confused, she runs.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment