Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For those needing a reason to go out and party this month
here are some strange holidays for this month sent in by Mark
Feb. 1.........Freedom Day
.............Give Kids a Smile Day
.............Robinson Crusoe Day
Feb. 2..........Sled Dog Day
Feb. 3..........National Girls & Women in Sports Day
............The Day the Music Died (look it up, youngsters!)
Feb. 4..........Quacker Day
............Thank a Mailman Day
Feb. 5..........Wear Red Day
............National Weatherman's Day
Feb. 6..........MOBIUS Awards Day
............Lame Duck Day
Feb. 7..........Ballet Day
............Charles Dickens Day
............Send a Card to a Friend Day
Feb. 8..........Kite Flying Day
............Boy Scout Birthday
Feb. 9..........Read in the Bathtub Day
Feb. 10........Umbrella Day
Feb. 11........National Shut-in Visitation Day
............Make a Friend Day
............White T-Shirt Day
Feb. 12........Lincoln's Birthday
............Safety Pup Day
............National Plum Pudding Day
Feb. 13........Get a Different Name Day
Feb. 14........Valentine's Day
............Ferris Wheel Day
............Library Lovers' Day
............League of Women Voters Day
............Race Relations Day
Feb. 15........Susan B. Anthony Day
............National Gum Drop Day
Feb. 16........Pancake Day
............Do a Grouch a Favor Day
Feb. 17........World Human Spirit Day
............Random Acts of Kindness Day
............Champion Crab Races Day
Feb. 18........Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day
............Pluto Day
Feb. 19........National Chocolate Mint Day
Feb. 20........Clam Chowder Day
............World Day for Social Justice
............Love Your Pet Day
............Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
Feb. 21........Card Reading Day
Feb. 22........George Washington's Birthday
............Walking the Dog Day
............Be Humble Day
Feb. 23........Curling is Cool Day
............Tennis Day
............International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
Feb. 24........National Tortilla Chip Day
Feb. 25........National Chili Day
Feb. 26........Levi Strauss Day
............For Pete's Sake Day
............Tell a Fairy Tale Day
............Carnival Day
Feb. 27........International Polar Bear Day
............No Brainer Day
Feb. 28........National Tooth Fairy Day
............Floral Design Day
Of course this will all be dependent on whether you have power and
the roads are clear so you can get out. No problem here as the snow
has
decided to miss us again. We didn't miss out on the cold but we
can't
have everything with Global Warming but who cares, snowmobiles race
on
ice and not snow and this weekend is the I-500.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Stupid Jokes (PG 18)
STUPIDJOKE-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Monday Thru Friday, The Stupidest Jokes on the Internet!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
======================================================
FTD(R) THE FLOWER EXPERTS(TM)
======================================================
VALENTINE'S DAY SALE
Starting at $19.99
http://buffaloschips.com/ftdvd
Limited time offer!
======================================================
SAVE 25% on best selling flowers and gifts
http://buffaloschips.com/ftdvd
======================================================
(C)2011 FTD.com, Inc.
======================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wedding Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 13 Signs Your Wedding Day Isn't Going Well
13. You're forced to exchange vows from separate rooms because of
that week-old restraining order.
12. The bride's father gets his feelings hurt when her pimp insists
on giving her away.
11. Even though he's sitting in the front row, you still don't
remember the Grim Reaper being on the guest list.
10. At the end of the ceremony, Reverend Jones proposes a Kool-Aid
toast.
9. Your bride enthusiastically shouts, "I do!" Unfortunately, it's
when the priest asks if anyone objects to the marriage.
8. The ceremony starts in 20 minutes and you're still fighting over
who gets to wear the dress.
7. The ceremony is spoiled by the insistent beeping from the
bride's ankle cuff.
6. When the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy crew shows up to help
plan the upcoming honeymoon, your fiancé becomes alarmingly smitten
with Carson the fashion savant.
5. "Something blue" is Grandma. Better call 911.
4. After greeting your bride by name, the honeymoon hotel clerk
asks if she wants the room for the whole night this time.
3. You spot Ron Jeremy (the porn star) sitting on the bride's side
of the church.
2. The groom refuses to put the ring on your finger, saying, "Not
the Preciousssss!"
1. You can't seem to find your tuxedo pants. But even if you
could, the wedding is in Nebraska and you're handcuffed to a
dominatrix in Singapore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
So...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b011.html
new laptop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b012.html
fat lady sings
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b013.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a
wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. Last month, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with
each of them three times. Now they tell me that they are
both pregnant."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins? "
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mouse Chaser is the new electronic cat toy that will keep your cat
entertained for hours! Your cat will use every angle to try and
catch that mouse and with a built in scratch pad its a win-win for
both you and your kitty!
Benefits:
-Battery-Operated Design
-Built-in Scratch Pad
-Money-saving Motion Sensor
-Keeps Cat out of Trouble
Buy 1 Get 1 Free Now for only $19.95!
http://buffaloschips.com/chaser
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hangover Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy wakes up in the morning. He has a
massive hangover and can't remember
anything he did last night.
He picks up his dressing gown from the
floor and puts it on. He notices there's
something in one of the pockets and it
turns out to be a bra. He thinks to himself,
"Uh oh. What happened last night?"
He walks towards the bathroom and finds
a panty in the other pocket of his gown.
Again he thinks, "What happened last night.
What have I done? It must have been a wild
party," making his best attempt to conclude
and accept the evidence.
He opens the bathroom door, walks in and
has a look in the mirror. He notices a little
string hanging out of his mouth and his only
thought is, "If there's a God, please let this
be a tea bag."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Special Valentine's Day Offer from our valued partner Shari's
Berries
------------------------------
Hand-Dipped Valentine's Berries & Sweets from $19.99
------------------------------
Take delight with this Valentine's Day offer. Send Shari's Berries!
- Gourmet Hand-Dipper Berries, Cookies, Cakes & More
- Over 20 Million Berries Sent
- On time delivery
Buy Now through this link:
http://buffaloschips.com/berry
Guaranteed on-time Valentine's Delivery
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trucking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three truck drivers die and got to meet God for admittance.
God asks the first driver if he had ever cheated on his log books,
taken drugs, or cheated on his wife. He replied that he would never
consider such conduct and that he was a good man. God told him to go
stand on this big X on the floor.
God asked the second driver if he had ever cheated on his log book,
taken drugs, or cheated on his wife. He replied 'Oh No I would never
do any such thing" God told him to stand next to the first driver on
the X.
God then asked the third driver if he had ever cheated on his log
book, taken drugs, or cheated on his wife. He explained that as much
as he regretted it he had falsified his log book, and taken some
little white pills because there was the cutest little blonde honey
in Dallas that he had ever seen.
At this point God pressed a button and the first two drivers fell
through a hole that opened under them. The third driver, startled,
asked what happens now?
God said "well those two liars are going to Hell and you and me are
going to Dallas.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Press Dough - Design your own cookie creations
Make fun, editable art with Press Dough. Take cookie making to a new
level
with creating patterns, animals, shapes, and more. All Pieces are
dishwasher
safe so clean up is a breeze. Just press, bake and decorate--Eat all
the fun
you make.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/presdo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister is a flat chested girl.
I'm quite a joker, and one day i said to her "Would you
wear gloves if you had no hands??"
She said "No".
So i said "So why do you wear a bra then??"
At this point i thought it advisable to run away, before
she threw something at me.
~~~~~
Sean got home in the early hours of the morning after a night at the
local pub. He made such a racket hitting into the furniture as he
weaved his way through the house, that he woke up the missus.
"What on earth are you doing down there?" she yelled down from the
bedroom. "Get yourself up here to bed and don't waken the
neighbours."
"I'm trying to get a barrel of Guinnes up the stairs" he shouted.
"Leave it 'till the morning" she shouted down
"I can't" he said "I've drank it!"
~~~~~
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said
to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, straight up no bull!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Scent - Refillable Perfume Atomizer
Take your favorite perfume wherever you go with My Scent. Refillable
atomizer as small as a lipstick - fits in any purse or pocket. It
features a
clear window to indicate when it's time to refill. My Scent comes in
three
fun colors - black, silver and pink.
Stay fragrant all day with My Scent,
Buy 1, Get 1 Free
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/mycent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/ An Evening Out
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/A/Ev.html
Legend of Groundhog's Day
http://heavens-gates.com/groundhogday/
Joe Darling babies
http://community-2.webtv.net/eclectic-guy/AdorableBabyFace/
God's Splendor
http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/4.html
carolyn w/ Always On My Mind ~Elvis
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/alwaysonmymind.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Up Close And Personal 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal2.html
What Your GPS Won't Show You
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gps.html
When Sandman Attacks
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman.html
Think about each 'point'.
http://tinyurl.com/34fyuj
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Some keyboard shortcuts for:
Windows
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/126449
Windows 2000 http://labmice.techtarget.com/articles/keyboard.htm
XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/301583
office 2000
http://www.fgcu.edu/support/office2000/word/shortcuts.html
Microsoft Products
http://www.microsoft.com/enable/products/keyboard.aspx
Firefox
http://www.mozilla.org/support/firefox/keyboard
Mozilla
http://www.mozilla.org/docs/end-user/moz_shortcuts.html
Mac OS X
http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=75459
Opera
http://www.opera.com/products/desktop/keyboard/
Gmail
http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=6594
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.homesteadpoodles.com/nursery.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.catcam.us/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Microcam - Capture Any Moment Any Time
One of the world's smallest DV camcorders from Bell + Howell, a
trusted brand in photo technology for over 100 years. It's so tiny,
yet records high resolution digital video and still photos with
sound. It's super wide lens lets you capture all the action. The
micro cam is not only manually operated, but is sound and motion
activated too.
Payment plans available - order yours today.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/26ebmw8
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Beer By the Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91106.htm
How To Put On a Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91107.htm
Knife Guy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91108.htm
Ladder
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91109.htm
Never Trust a Woman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91110.htm
Bud Light Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1211.htm
Bud Light Frisbee
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1212.htm
Bud Ads
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1213.htm
Buddy Greene Harmonica
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1215.htm
Bud Light Clown
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1216.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chuck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
- Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster
than Death can process them.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet
for Chuck Norris.
- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
- Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
- Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
- Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50
states in order to legally wear pants.
- Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
- Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
- Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back
the fuck off.
- The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck
Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".
- Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger had a testicle contest and
Chuck Norris won by 4.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
American Beauty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42519.htm
First Time
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42520.htm
See you in Hell
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42521.htm
Cant Tell
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42522.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what's your revenge, your on the rag.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street
and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the
walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun
and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent
exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world
are you dressed like this?"
Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff...
I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little
red head asks me to go out to her motor home
with her... so I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me
to pull off my shirt... so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off
my pants... so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull
off my shorts... so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of
sexy and says, "Now go to town cowboy...
And here I am."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment