THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Real knowledge is to know the
extent of one's ignorance."
Confucius
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather has finally broken. Gone are the days of
single digit frigidness. BRRRR!!!! I feel like someone
took the dagger out of my chest. YES! that is a good thing.
and now, with warm weather, snow is melting everywhere.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw the neighbor across the
street had his lawn mower out. Well, after all, it was
above 40 degrees for a couple days in a row!
The warmth would be a good thing, except for the massive
flood out front in the yard. The sidewalk leading to my
front porch was poured many years ago. It has been
there forever, and it has settled. its like two inches
lower than the dirt on either edge of it. and guess what?
when the snow melts, it runs into the lowest
place, then it collects and it's a total mess for any folks
who want to come to the door to visit. Not that I am a
real popular guy, but we have friends coming in Friday
night for a little dinner party. Maybe I should buy a boat
and I could charge them a fee for transport from their
car to the front door.Hey, the dinner menu includes ribeye,
it's 'spensive, u know?
go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
losin it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c016.html
hey Jeff
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replacement
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flexing muscles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c019.html
four times
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c020.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
eBay: Civil War
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/833.html
athlete outch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/834.html
boom! too much magnesium!
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awesome slide!
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mellon season
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_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
THE MILITARY
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd615.html
A man had just settled into his seat next to the
window on the plane when another man sat down
in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever
in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the
dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the
Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog
was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's
the best there is. I'll show you once we get
airborne,when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out,
the Policeman said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search'.
Sniffer jumped down,walked along the aisle, and
finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for
several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat
and put one paw on the policeman's arm.
The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to
the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of
marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and
the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.
Once again,the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the
aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man
for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this
time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The Policeman said, 'That man is carrying cocaine,
so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for
the police.' 'I like it !' said his seat mate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little
while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing
back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat
and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour
and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained
dog would behave like that, so he asked the
Policeman, 'What's going on ?'
The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'
______________
A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time.
She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices
she's trembling. He says: "You're nervous, aren't you?"
"Yes, it's my first visit to a gynecologist."
"Would you like me to numb you down there?"
"Oh, yes please." He sticks his face between her
legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ."
_______________
A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night
recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in
his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in
the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer,
bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?"
he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said,
"Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high.
Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out
his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster
where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw"
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood
up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off
the piano player "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy, "I'm learnin'
somethin' here. Got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the
saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of
the grease on the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the
gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done
playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass,
and it won't hurt as much."
______________
BUFFALO BILL
7 Wonders Of The World
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ABC Banner
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Adidas DM
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_______________
FUN PAGES
Lion Fights
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42351&s=n
Adriana Lima Compilation
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20495&s=n
Flight Simulator X
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42157&s=n
Killer Bugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41428&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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