[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 5-26-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Shelly Asked
That was nice of them to give you some chits... thanks for sharing
your memories my friend.... ok have to ask .. about the chits.

In this case chits refers to script which the military issues in
place of a pay check when they don't want to have a bunch of sailors
running around with wallets full of cash and the problems it would
cause with theft, etc. The little book we got had 30 dollars worth
of Monopoly money that was supposed to last you through the first 12
weeks in the Navy. Besides paying for haircuts it covered the
consumables you needed during boot camp and food and cigarettes when
you got a chance to go to the Navy Exchange. The Navy gave you
nothing because the chits were actually an advance against your
wages and they deducted it when you got your first pay check at the
end of
boot camp. Currently a new recruit gets a book of chits worth
150.00 as not only the price of everything has gone up but you must
buy your own underwear which gives you the chance to choose between
boxers and briefs and you aren't going to find any with Sponge Bob
on them .

The most common use of the word chit though is actually permission
to do something. Whether it is time off, permission to marry,
reenlistment, or to separate the process must be started with a
special request
chit and when it is signed by everybody up the chain of command you
gat a copy back either approved or denied and you go on your way.

About uniforms, the cost of a seabag for a male is about 1600.00 and
for a female about 1800. It isn't exactly free either because the
Navy keeps a portion of your uniform allowance for the first three
years which is used to replace items that wear out. That allowance
is 300
a year for men and about 450 a year for women.

Navy barracks in boot camp no longer have numbers, they are
assigned names of ships. The first uniform you are issued is a
blue jogging suit and you are referred to as a Smurf while wearing
it. When you receive your regular uniforms, they are worn with a hat
with Recruit on it. When you pass your final test which is a
simulated General Quarters aboard a training ship, you receive
your standard hat and the status of being a Sailor.

Some things have changed but I think that any sailor of the past
50 years would find the New Navy pretty easy to adapt to and
a lot more user friendly.

Gas jumped 21 cents a gallon today in preparation for Memorial Day.
They don't even bother thanking you after they screw you anymore.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

Gals and Guys
Come and have some humor in FOW
We have great members
Also Question of the day!
Lots of teasing and good old fun
You must share as you are the life line of the group
Thank you!!!!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Funny_Old_World/

And

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Age Chips
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A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for her first
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Doggie Kisses
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Going To Sleep
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It Fits
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Short Chips
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"Your eyes."

~~~~~~

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Naked Chips
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THINGS A MAN DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SAID WHEN A WOMAN IS LOOKING
AT
HIM NAKED

1. Why is God punishing me?

2. At least this won't take long.

3. I never saw one like that before.

4. But it still works, right?

5. It looks unused.

6. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

7. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

8. Are you cold?

9. If you get me real drunk first.

10. Is that an optical illusion?

11. What is that?

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13. Does it come with an air pump?

14. So this is why you're to judge people on personality.

15. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.

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Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted
on
having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the
sea.
On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged
from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.

"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting
for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.

"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.

So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after
which
she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to take
pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually
Daisy
grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell
asleep.

In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.

"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have
been
making love all night?" she asked.

"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most
beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a
moment
of it."

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Melva/Spirit of the Corps
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Strange Hotels
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Ball Girl
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When the wife doesn't listen
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Movie Links

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Recession
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Red State Update
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Singing Monkey
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Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
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What
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Canard
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Candid Camera Russian Style
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Carrier Landing
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Cat
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Cat Bird
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Wife Chips
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Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your
boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that
was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice
that I had gotten a new hair cut. I Cooked your favorite meal, and
even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in
two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your
soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to
have sex any - more or anything. Either you're cheating on me or
You don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.

Your EX - Husband

P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that it
doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The
first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but
my mother raised Me not to say anything, If you can't say anything
nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
Confused with my SISTER, because, I stopped eating steak seven years
ago. I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on
because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just
a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
That morning --- And your new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of
this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So,
when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Ten Million
Dollars, I quit my job and bought us TWO tickets to Jamaica. But,
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I
guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.

Signed, Rich and Free!

P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this but, Carla, my sister,
was born CARL!!! I hope that's not a problem...

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Toon Chips
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Faking It
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32152.htm

Tin Can Phone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32153.htm

Crowded Beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32154.htm

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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady from Exeter,
So pretty the men strained their necks at her.
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

~~~~

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

having a good looking stop that was overly sexy he found the only
way to enjoy sex with her was to get it at the front door not
going inside so the neighbors wouldn't know he would swing his
carrier with all the other products in it while delivering HIS
goods.... as it was time for his 2 week vacation came he went on a
trip and after a week all he could do is think of her...when he
finally got back to work he skipped half the stops to get to her
...he grabbed the carrier and by the time he got to the front door
had HIS goods in his hand for her...being so early her husband had
not gone to work yet came to the door....being a fast thinking
milkman as he was he said: I'll tell you just like i told her pay
up the milk bill or i will piss all over the floor...

Jim

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2040

Rudy and the Storms

Last weekend the storms raged through Kansas and Missouri
devasating Reading, Kansas and Joplin, Missouri. Caldwell got
hammered with torrential rains and thunderstorms...

Rudy is shaking as is Katie, both are terrified.

BJ: Katie you have not been afraid of storms before. What is
the deal?

Katie: I am scared today.

Diana: Let's give them both a nerve pill, 1/2 strength for Kate and
a full pill for Rudy.

Katie: Give me the whole bottle.

BJ: I think not little girl.

Diana: I think Katie is feeding off of Rudy's fear.

Sandi: I remember eating a bottle of those pills, they taste
good.

BJ: Yeah you were a little stoner back then.

The herd

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Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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