Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Today's visit to the hospital was a really pleasant experience.
My appointment was scheduled for 0930 and I got there at
0915 and left my SUV at the entrance for the parking attendant.
I love valet parking which they started about six months ago. I
registered at Outpatient Receiving and was at the Radiology
Department by 0920. I was out of there and driving down the
street at 0937. This is the same hospital that I took my daughter
to 20 years ago and it took them 4 hours to find the on call
X-Ray Tech for the Emergency Room. Sure the prices have
went up but the level of service is beyond compare. I just hope
that when they overhaul the health industry in the next four years
they don't destroy what this hospital has accomplished.
I am afraid Spring suffered a little set back yesterday. Even though
it was sunny outside the temperature never got out of the twenties.
Today will be warmer though, possibly helped along by the
University's
38th annual burning of the snowman.
http://www.lssu.
I have been reading my buddy Martin the Postman's adventures lately
as he has taken his bike out of winter storage and is ready to start
driving again. I haven't owned a motorcycle since my Navy days but
the
thought has crossed my mind a lot recently and I have been reading
the ads for everything from 125cc up. I keep having dreams about
buying a bike, driving it once and never being able to start it
again or
even worse having it disappear and spending the rest of the dream
looking for it. For most a motorcycle like a snowmobile is an
extravagance
as you can only use it six months out of the year and the dreams may
be a bad omen, so I probably won't buy one, however if someone were
to give me one I would probably look at it differently heh heh.
I hope you have a great weekend... buffalo
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Nancy Pelosi is now a Saint....
On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy
Pelosi's aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral.
He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next
day's
sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi
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and
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and
seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle.
And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that
House
Speaker Pelosi was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation -- "While
Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not
my
favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the
church,
and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a
petty,
self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy
Pelosi is
also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief
Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever
personally
witnessed.
She married for money and is using it to lie to the American
people. She
also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations
both in
Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted."
The Cardinal completed his view of Pelosi with, "But, when
compared to
Senators Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker
Pelosi is
a saint."
Charlie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donkey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try telling this one after a few drinks.
What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye and bonking while
farting?
A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes?
A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?
A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a truck?
F**king talented!
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display
in
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"Would you like to hear my sexual philosophy?" the boss asked the
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"Hmmmmmmm," she mused. "Sounds like the Four-Get-It system to me!"
SIGNS THE EASTER BUNNY IS NUTS
10. Neighbors describing him as "a quiet loner."
9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at
Santa, "You're
going to die up there, fat man!"
8. Can't stop washing his paws.
7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.
6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.
5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a "suicide egg."
4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his
crawl
space.
3.. Won't come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.
2. He's hippity-hopped up on crack.
1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
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All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively
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He said, "I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."
Dave from Murphy
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Cookie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided
to try a new doctor who had just moved into town.
After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with
a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm.
"Oh, that sounds bad. How can I get rid of it?" asked the man.
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"Whoa! Hold on a minute, Jack!" screams the man.
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About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie.
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As the infuriated man starts to protest the doctor says, "Trust
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So, the man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled
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"This again?" yells the man.
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So, the man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor
shoves the egg up his rear.
"Oh! I can't believe I'm doing this!" says the man.
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About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie.
"Now pull up your pants and come back tomorrow with another hard
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As the man starts to shake his head the doctor says, "Trust me.
I'm the doctor."
So, this goes on all week until one day, after the man pulls up
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says, "Trust me. I'm the doctor."
The man gets no sleep that night worried to death about what the
hammer is going to feel like when it gets shoved up his ass. He
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The man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled egg
and the hammer. "Drop your pants and bend over," says the doctor.
"But, why do we need a hammer?" asks the man nervously.
"Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.
The man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves
the egg up his rear.
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About a minute later, the man is about to pass out from terror
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happened when the tapeworm sticks its head out his rear end and
yells, "Where's my lemon cookie?!"
...and WHAM! Down comes the hammer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Prayer
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Magic Of Your Touch
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The Time Is Now
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Home
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Rolling back Drivers in XP
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Movie Clips
Super Gra
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Surprise During Meal
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Surprise Her Mechanics
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Swan
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Russian Bar Trio
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Snow Plow
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The Mom Song
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Tolerant Cat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every morning Custer rode through the Indian
Reservation on his horse accompanied by his faithful
Indian scout. And every morning as he rode past the Indian
chief he was greeted with the gesture of first a finger raised
vertically - then the finger thrust horizontally.
Eventually Custer said to his scout "I know what the chief
means by the vertical finger, but what's the significance
of the horizontal one?".
The scout replied "Chief, him no like your horse either!"
A first grade teacher had a small number of children
gathered around a table for a reading group.
After the story was read she gave the children a work
sheet to do.
She thought they may have some problems so wanted
them to work on it there.
She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".
The teacher leaned over and said quietly,"We don't say
that in school."
The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big
and she said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good shit
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Odd Nephew Of Hildy Von Ringen
Was Convicted On Easter Of Singin'
Bawdy Songs During Mass
And Of Baring His Ass
While The Bells In The Sanctus Were Ringin'.
A Flatulent Nun From Hawaii,
One Easter Eve Supped On Papaya;
Then Honored The Passover,
By Turning Her Ass Over,
And Obliging With Handel's Messiah.
There was an old man called Reg
Who decided to trim his hedge
He'd had a few beers
Slipped with his shears
And cut off his meat and two veg
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ode to Alcohol
------------
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think,
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why
Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow was walking through a cemetery one dark and stormy night.
As he got well into the cemetery, he heard a voice say, "Mark!
Mark!"
Pretending not to let it bother him, he pulled his coat a little
tighter
and kept walking.
Again the voice said, "Mark! Mark!"
That did it. He took off full speed and didn't stop till he was well
outside the gates. As he stopped to catch his breath, the moon broke
through the clouds enough so he could see what had been following
him.
It was a dog with a hare lip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1547
Professional Basketball at it's Worst...Werst.
Diana: Everyone in the van.
Katie: Where are we going?
BJ: I got free tickets to see the OKC Thunder game.
Rudy: I don't like thunder, it scares me.
Diana: This is not a storm, but a basketball game.
Sandi: We are confused.
BJ: The Thunder is the name of the team.
Rudy: A-Roo. I understand.
Downtown...at the Ford Center...
Rudy: There are a zillion people here.
Diana: The building holds 17,000+ people and it is always a
sellout.
Katie: Can we play?
BJ: No, we must stay in our seats and watch the game.
Katie: Waah!
Inside .... Three flights up the escalators..
Rudy: I am scared...what if we fall, do we get a parachute?
To be continued..
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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