[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Fri



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I know to the majority of sane human beings when 55 mph winds
have caused the shut down of the interstate, closed schools, and
prompted warnings from city officials to stay inside till the storm
was over because of white-outs, they would have kicked back in
front of the TV and relaxed. Buffy and I however were never known
for our sanity and right in the middle of the storm we were over at
the local Caffeine Express grabbing a couple of Brain Freezes and
getting ready to hit the road South about 35 miles to check out
a prospective second vehicle . The minute we hit the state road
visibility was bouncing between slim and none and I was glad we
had allowed ourselves an extra 15 minutes travel time as we had to
slow to 50 mph. By the time we hit the first cross road there was
one
car in the ditch with a wrecker and the Tribal Police assisting and
a
quarter mile farther down the road another minivan was sitting about
50 feet into the snow bank. Buffy dialed 911 and gave them info
on where to send a wrecker and we continued onward. About another
eight miles down the road we were in a wooded area and the snow
had slowed but the wind was still rocking the Jimmy as we cruised
along.

I had spotted the vehicle we were after in the paper the night
before
and while I had Buffy calling the owner I ran the Ford Explorer
through
the Kelly Blue Book Site and found that the price being asked was
more than reasonable. I then did a reverse name search on the phone
number listed and ran the address through the MSN Map site as Buffy
set up a time to look at it. We had been at this process for about a
month and a half and we were getting pretty good at it along with
seeing
a good chunk of the country.

Even though we missed the address on the first pass and had to back
track we got there right about the agreed upon time and the owner
came
out to show it to us. Buffy fired it up and it started great, no
smoke or noises
and I let her take it for a spin while I chatted with the owner.
Buffy is not an
auto mechanic but she has picked up a good intuition as to whether a

vehicle has problems which comes from driving used cars. She
approved
of the way it shifted, handled, and braked so I discussed price with
the owner.
It has a crack in the windshield and although it doesn't block the
view it
will need to be replaced some day but even figuring that in the
price was
about 200 below blue book so I haggled him down another 500 bucks
and gave him his money and got the title. The Ford even had a
quarter tank
of gas in it but we drove it to the next town and gassed it up
anyhow and
then headed back into the storm. I now have a 1996 Ford Explorer 4
door
with four- wheel drive. If I didn't have a roof on the Jimmy and the
seats
were folded down, I could probably carry it around as a spare. As
soon as
Buffy finds a job I will probably sign it over to her and then go
look for
another car for me. I don't need to be a two car buffalo but I enjoy
the
thrill of the chase.

We have about six inches of fresh snow on the ground and it is
supposed
to warm up this weekend so we will have plenty of slush. Enjoy the
chips
and don't drive in blizzards unless you're an idiot..... buffalo

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Magic Chips
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A magician worked on a cruise ship. There was a different audience
each week,
so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began
to
understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood,
the parrot
started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat!", "Look, he's hiding the flowers under
the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was after
all, the
captain's parrot.

Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood
in the middle
of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word.
This went on
for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back:
"OK, I give up. Where's the f*ckin' ship?"

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Piss away
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009piss-away.jpg

Sausage & onions
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Lunchx010.jpg

Protesters
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Protestors.jpg

So Kinky
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21218.htm
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Anti-Theft
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Ass Transport
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21217.htm
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Drug Chips
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Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and
disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption
problem all over the world. After giving it much thought they
reached
the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that
they
should try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way
to
proceed. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some
of
the members return to earth to get the different types of drugs. The
secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned
disciples begin to return to heaven.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple: "Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Mark?"
"Marijuana from Colombia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Matthew"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Matthew?"
"Cocaine from Bolivia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's John"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring John?"
"Crack from New York"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Luke"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Luke?"
"Speed from Amsterdam"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Judas"
Jesus opens the door.
What did you bring Judas?"
"The DRUG SQUAD.... EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!!!!!

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Austin Chips
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Austin Powers pick up lines from "Gold Member"

1) I wish you were a door so I could bang you
all day long.

2) (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's
get you out of those wet clothes.

3) Nice legs... What time do they open?

4) Do you work for the post office? I thought
I saw you checking out my package.

5) You've got 206 bones in your body, want one
more?

6) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the
money?

7) I may not be the best looking guy in here,
but I'm the only one talking to you.

8) I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big
Breasted Bed thrasher, have you seen one?

9) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.

10) Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can
blow the hell outta me.

11) I'd really like to see how you look when I'm
naked.

12) You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away.

13) You must be the limp doctor because I've got
a stiffy.

14) I'd walk a million miles for one of your
smiles, and even farther for that thing you
do with your tongue.

15) If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning.

16) (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not
just going to suck itself.

17) You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with
me.

18) You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any
questions?

19) Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.

20) My name is ( )...remember that, you'll be
screaming it later.

21) Do you believe in love at first sight or
should I walk by again?

22) Hi, the voices in my head told me to come
over and talk to you.

23) I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how
much have you been drinking?

24) Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

25) Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I
can see myself in them

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Witch Chips
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A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him,
until he
betrayed the wrong woman a practicing witch.

The morning after she had caught ICE-Man with another girl, he awoke
with
an itchy bump in the middle of his forehead. ICE-Man thought it was
a
pimple, but it continued to grow to ridiculous proportions
throughout the
day.

In a panic, ICE-Man sought the advice of a physician who examined
the man
and ran tests on the strange tissue. By now, the bump was three
inches
long, and starting to take an oddly familiar shape.

"What is this thing growing out of my head Doctor?", asked ICE-Man.
"We've
run every test we know to confirm the findings," he said gravely,

"but they all tell us the same thing. The bump in your forehead is
developing into a fully grown penis."

"I can't believe this! Isn't there anything you can do?" pleaded a
distraught ICE-Man.

"I'm afraid not. Removing it would kill you."

"I'll be a freak! No woman will come near me!" cried ICE-Man

"There's more," said the Doctor. "You're going to experience vision
problems."

"Will I go blind, Doc?" asked ICE-Man.

"No, you'll just have trouble seeing with testicles hanging in front
of
your eyes."


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Pussy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Expensive Pussy: Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive
Pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, $500 dresses,
spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on
them.
98% of good pussy falls into this category.

Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great. Disadvantages:
Many,
mostly in the form of checking account depletion.

Often not worth it.

2) Cheap Pussy: Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend
of
yours who will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap Pussy can be
recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner,
understands
when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly, easily
hurt,
but shakes it off.

Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once
and
sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.

Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can
keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will eventually want
to
get married and/or have children soon thus ruining it.

Often not worth it.

3) Hired Pussy: Found in the Hollywood area of Southern Cal and in
every
other large city in the US and abroad. Recognized by scanty clothes
and
come-hither looks. Expense varies greatly with the quality. The
difference between Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy is that the money
is
up-front.

Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your
girlfriend,
doesn't care who you are or what you look like, often very
experienced,
usually cheaper than Expensive Pussy.

Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Pussy in the long run, risk
of
disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the risk of jail time
is
high.

Often not worth it.

4) Virgin Pussy: This type is getting rarer each day. Recognized by
conservative clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty
jokes and porno movies. Can be very loving if you promise marriage,
but
will cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration level is
high
as Virgin Pussy tends to want to stay that way for some unknown
reason.

Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight
"fit"
if it gives in, sometimes open to new experience, will often offer
"other" services if Virginity is to be maintained.

Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until marriage, will cause
discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not usually into using
birth
control which can cause "accidents", can only be used once.

Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of thing.

5) Nympho Pussy: Very rare. Recognized by the tendency to drag you
by
your balls into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion Very
experienced, will teach you things you never knew. Expense varies
depending on level of Nymphomania.

Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything once.

Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease risk
can
be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can be unstable, will
not
give a steady relationship.

Often not worth it.

6) Frigid Pussy: Less rare. See (4) for recognition. Difference is
that
this Pussy will not yield no matter what. Any expense involved is
simply
wasted (unless you are into real frustration).

Advantages: There are no advantages.

Disadvantages: Too many to list here. Best to stay away once
recognized.

Never worth it.

7) Innocent Nympho Pussy: Rare. Recognized by being in a small,
sweet,
innocent package which you would never in a million years think
would
give in, but when it does, you are in for a hell of a surprise.
Often
mistaken for (4). Expense varies, but usually falls into the cheaper
category.

Advantages: The surprise is blissful. Always worth it. Keep it if
you
can.

Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious consequences may
result. May or may not be faithful.

8) Party Pussy: Found at bars and at parties. Recognized by glass of
wine in hand and bloodshot eyes. Will engage in group festivities
while
completely ripped. Expense usually covers drinks. Make sure you are
not
ripped as to better enjoy the experience.

Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real unlucky. Be sure to
say
the right things.

Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually remain
faithful,
the Support System may tend to puke all over you.

Often not worth it.

9) Nutsy Pussy: Support System has psychological problems.
Recognized
by
the fact that she will go out with you, then spill her problems on
you.
May tend to kill you while you sleep. Gives in for no apparent
reason..
Usually found as a quiet co-worker.

Advantages: Easy.

Disadvantages: Never really worth it

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Green Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irish man entered the confessional to confess.
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last
confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three
Hail Marys.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional.
'Father, it has been two months

since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a
week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'

'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.

'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Marys.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the
sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman
entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon
her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front
of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore
matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress
and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart...
just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie
Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his own ears, but managed to
calmly reply,.................

'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

Charlie

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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Crossings
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp2/CrossingsLG.html

A Dream And A Smile/Angel of Compassion
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Frdshp/My_Ange_Of_Compassion.html

John w/ Here Comes Peter Cottontail
http://heavens-gates.com/fifties/petercottontail.html

As Roses
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems52/As%20Roses.html

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Surfin Surfari

Tipjar Via Wesley
http://moderator.appspot.com/#16/e=3cfc

The Shirt Via Wesley
http://members.cox.net/crandall11/money/shirt/

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Graphics
http://www.accd.edu/PAC/LRC/graphics.htm

Great Bellies Quill and Ink Names
http://members.tripod.com/~greatbelly/

Wherever Change Directory - Linux or Windows Via Wesley
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips

How A Blonde Pole Dances
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsa.htm

HUH? What's Going on? Playing Footsie!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asfs.htm

Hummer Oh Shit
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I Like Boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dgjgja.htm

Idiot
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Lazy River Pee Prank
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Leno Needs Body Guard
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Let the Beast Go
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Levis
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Glock with Drum Mag
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Goal
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Good Ole Boys
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Good Job
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Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives
that the Lord is granting you six months to go back
to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren."
And *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and
*poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he ask

"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but
that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit
and hands it to St. Peter ..

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He
hands it back to her and says.

"No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline'
that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months!"

Randy

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

have you noticed?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t021.html

Rush says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t022.html

Sara Palin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t023.html

Beach
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21222.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21222.htm "> Here!</a>

Aussie Shiela
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21220.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21220.htm "> Here!</a>

Happy Birthday
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21219.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21219.htm "> Here!</a>

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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been fucking her sheep.

There was a young woman named Maud
Who found herself now and then floored
--Or bedded, or chaired,
Or top of the staired--
Oh, well, it's the life of a broad.

Susan

There was a lady from Kent
To a football game she went
She stood near the goal
And opened her hole
And in the football went!
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QuickLawn - Just Sow It and Grow It

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toughest terrain from sandy soils to high traffic areas. It costs as
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss
their
options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was
a homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you
indulge
in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never
again
indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for
their
return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.

The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could
not
stop
himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a
shot
of whiskey.

No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his
stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how
seriously
they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came
upon
a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend
over
to
pick that up, we're both dead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EZ Cracker - Crack, Separate and Strip Eggs

Making eggs has never been cleaner or easier. EZ Cracker separates
egg whites for perfect egg white omelets. Strip shells from hard
boiled eggs in seconds...no mess, no fuss.

Get the Bacon Wave at no charge when you order EZ Cracker today!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AIG is continuing to hemorrhage money despite $150 billion
in federal aid. The big motor companies are still wallowing
in red. HCSB Financial is in the hole to the Feds as are
Citigroup, Bank of America, GMAC Financial, Goldman Sachs,
JPMorgan Chase and hundreds of others to the tune of billions
of dollars!

The question is...who IS making money these days, and the
answer is, whore houses!

I just read that The Mustang Ranch, outside of Las Vegas in
Nevada, has seen a huge increas in business recently.
Under Nevada state law, certain counties are allowed to
license and regulate brothels. It's a booming $50 million
business. Which kind of makes a perverted sort of sense. If
everything else in your life is falling apart...you might
as well get laid.

Patricia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser

Touch-n-Brush uses revolutionary, vacuum force technology to cleanly
squeeze every available drop of toothpaste in the tube. Get the
perfect amount of toothpaste every time without the mess.

Eliminate messy, sticky bathroom sinks forever.

View Web Version

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1250

Re-Gin-erated

Sandi: Daddy, those two are driving me nuts.

BJ: What do you mean.

Sandi: Since Katie found out she is not old, she is running crazy,
jumping, playing and just being strange.

BJ: Great, she is being Katie, Krazy Katie.

Sandi: Then there is Rudy...Katie and Rudy hit the liquor cabinet.

BJ: and?

Sandi: Katie had her chablis and Rudy had some gin, and some more
gin and some more gin and he is outside playing with Leonard.

BJ: Who is Leonard?

Sandi: That is the problem. There is no Leonard. Leonard appeared
to him about the 3rd drink. He has been talking to Leonard and then
started to play frisbee with Leonard since then. It is strange to
watch.

BJ: Harmless though?

Sandi: I suppose so, but ... just look outside... Krazy Katie
running
around chasing squirrels and leaves and barking at the wind, and
then
there is my hubby, Rudy playing with the invisible man...sigh...
What's a girl to do?

BJ: I guess she could sit with her daddy and just snuggle.

Sandi: I can do that.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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