THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle
them with bull. - W. C. Fields
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
After a long history of decline, state officials
here in our fair state of Michigan are debating
the possibility of taking over the administration
of the town of Benton Harbor. Unemployment stats
are over thirty percent in this town, once a factory
location for GM. Boarded up homes and businesses
line the streets after the factory shut down, and
Benton Harbor is faced with a budget shortfall of 4.5
million dollars this year. Ironically, I would have
to ask why anybody thinks that the state would be
able to run things any better, given the conditions
that Michigan itself is in. Oh well, I guess they
couldn't make Benton Harbor any worse.
What Americans largely are not aware of is how
much they should be trembling. Governor Granholm,
governor of the state of Michigan, (the state worst hit
by the recession and faced with budget shortfalls
that just won't quit)is also one of President Obama's
financial advisory comittee members. And we wonder
why things are not getting better in the economy.
Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
Dear Abby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k070.html
car wash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k071.html
crossing the road
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k072.html
electric
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k073.html
hold it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k074.html
neatness counts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k075.html
totem pole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k076.html
shit hits the fan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k077.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
A military tribute
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9008.html
itty bitty titties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9009.html
need a partner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9010.html
what a landing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9011.html
redneck waterskiing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9012.html
____________
A couple of movie critics were discussing old
movies and wondered whatever happened to Tarzan.
So they decided to look for him and ask him a
few questions. Finally, they located him, and
the conversation went like this:
"Tarzan how come we haven't seen you in a movie
in a long time?"
"Well, I've had a bad case of arthritis and I
can't swim any more or jump from branch to branch.
"What about Jane, Tarzan?"
"Jane is in really bad shape.
She has Alzheimers and doesn't know who I am anymore."
"What a shame. What can you tell us about your son Boy?"
"Well, we don't see much of Boy lately.
He stopped going to school and he only comes around
to see us when he needs money or a favor."
That's sad Tarzan. What about Cheetah?
Have you heard anything about her?"
"Oh Cheetah. She's really doing well.
She married a lawyer and is now living at the White House."
__________
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a
20-year-old Jewish woman named Emily walked up and sat on his lap.
Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from
adults, plus Emily was Jewish to boot, but she smiled very nicely at
him, so he asked her, "What would you like for the Holidays?"
"Something for my mother, please," replied Emily, sweetly.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful
of you," smiled Santa. "What would you like me to bring her?"
"A son-in-law."
___________
Jim was just out of Navy boot camp, and was on
his first ship. About two hours out of port, he
began to get a bit ill from the motion of
the ship. He approached an ensign, also just
out of training and on his first cruise. He
saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling
seasick, and I wondered if I may have permission
to go downstairs to the dispensary."
The ensign returned his salute and replied,
"Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don't
go downstairs, you go below! There is no
dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay.
Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a
deck, that is not the ceiling, it is the overhead,
that is not a pillar, it is a stanchion, that
is not a water fountain, it is a scuttle- butt.
If I ever hear you using civilian
words instead of Naval jargon,
I till throw you out of that little
round window over there."
____________
Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting , but when he
gets to his favorite field he sees the village
priest is already there. Paddy watches with
fascination as the priest holds his finger over a
rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit pops out.
The priest grabs it and puts it into a sack.
He repeats this unusual but very successful
technique until his sack is full of rabbits.
Paddy stops the priest and asks him how he does it.
"Easy,"says the priest."Put your finger on your wife's
pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole.They can't
resist the smell, so when they come out,grab them."
Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent over scrubbing
the floor.He lifts up her skirt and applies his
finger as directed. Without looking up, Maureen giggles,
"Holy Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?""
______________
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his
beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what
the problem is."Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on
one of those awkward questions women ask. Now, I'm
in deep trouble at home.""What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she
gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did,
except I said 'Of course I do.'"
BUFFALO BILL
Movie TV Bed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkeoel.htm
M Rip It Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnzxjzkaka.htm
The Flies In Florida Are Tough
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gajskks.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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