THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy.
Even if you need to quit your job, or move across country,
always do what you really want.
Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship
that just didn't work out.
Never apologize for being successful.
Only haters want to keep you at their level.
Never apologize for crying.
Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.
Never apologize for being frugal.
Just because you save your money instead of blowing it on the
latest fashion emergency doesn't mean you're cheap.
Never apologize for being a single mom. Babies are a blessing.
Never apologize for treating yourself to something special.
Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciation.
Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship.
Your safety should always be a priority.
Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship.
You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your
nerves.
Never apologize for saying NO.
Never apologize to your new friends about old friends.
There's a reason she's been your girl from day one.
Never apologize for ordering dessert.
Or more than one dessert.
Never apologize for your taste in clothes.
It's your style
Never apologize for changing your mind
Never apologize for being you!
"ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!"
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
Mr. Right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k030.html
will work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k031.html
check em at the door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k032.html
patent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k033.html
happy meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k034.html
age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k035.html
he is a cross
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k036.html
fleas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k037.html
when
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k038.html
bi sexual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k039.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The Bonnie Hunt show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8895.html
Bill Engval-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8896.html
doctor and the orange penis-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8897.html
Grand ma is two days clean-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8898.html
Michelle Obama
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8899.html
the ramp
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8900.html
_________
I sat, as did millions of
Other Americans, and watched as the government
Underwent a peaceful transition Of power a
few months ago. At first, I felt a swell
Of pride and patriotism while
Barack Obama took his Oath of office..
However, all that pride
Quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines,
In full dress uniform with rifles,
Fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then
That I realized how far
America 's Military had deteriorated..
Every last one of them missed.
__________________
Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean,
there was the Island of Trid.
It seems that most of the Island of Trid was
covered by a large mountain. On this mountain
lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on
his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the
mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean.
Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and
frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.
The Trids were a very sexual people, and the
population had grown quite large. Every square
inch of the island, except the mountain, was
crowded with Trids. The Trids spent their days
crowded together, dreaming of the open space
available on the ever visible mountain. Every
few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand
the crowds any more. He would start to climb
the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid
into the ocean.The Trids were a very depressed people.
One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of
Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the
Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.
The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go
plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the
Giant can be convinced to share some of the
mountain with you," the Rabbi explained. The Trids
were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids
implored. "The Giant will kick you into the ocean,
and you will surely drown." The Rabbi was stubborn,
and insisted that he talk to the Giant. The Trids
sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring
around the island, so that they would be able to
rescue the Rabbi. The Rabbi started walking towards
the mountain. No sign of the Giant. He walked through
the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.
He started up the slopes of the mountain, further
than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.
Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There
the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked
"Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb
to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off
the moment I started climbing?"
And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
_________________
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Good year.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet..
But when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
______________
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the
telephone when it rang.
"You must answer the telephone!" he told her irritably.
"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of
ten, it's for you!"
______________
Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power
and was forced to make an emergency landing.
Luckily there was a small cottage nearby.
The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door.
"Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman
who answered the door.
She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds.
"No," she finally said, pointing down the road,
"but we do have a McArdle and a McKay."
_______________
A government employee sat in his office, and out of
boredom, decided to see what was inside his old
filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and
came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good
on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and,
as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can
think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island with beautiful women,
who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women.
eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again."
Instantly, he was back in his government office.
_____________
Having grown up in a small Alabama town, my friend James
couldn't wait to tell us all about life in California , where
he was stationed.
"The malls are massive, and the restaurants are great," he
said. Then he grinned. "I even went to a topless bar."
"Really?" said his mother, surprised.
"What do they do if it starts to rain?"
____________
FUN PAGES
Dentist Electric Chair
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34739&s=n
Freestyle With Footballs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38551&s=n
Rino Unicorn
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41410&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Benny Hill Wishing Well
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9201.htm
Be Quiet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9202.htm
Best Casino Ad Ever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9203.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Glow Mountain Dew
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000645.html
Glowing Condoms
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000646.html
Go Navy
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000647.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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