Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
OLD SAILORS
Old sailors sit and chew the fat
'bout how things used to be
of the things they've seen
and places they've been
When they ventured out to sea.
They remember friends from long ago
and the times they had back then
of the money they've spilled
and the beer they've swilled
In their days as sailing men.
Their lives are lived in days gone by
with thoughts that forever last
of cracker-jack hats
and bell-bottom blues
and the good times in their past.
They recall long nights with a moon so bright
far out on a lonely sea
and the thoughts they had
as youthful lads
When their lives were unbridled and free.
They know so well how their hearts would swell
when the flag fluttered proud and free
and the stars and the stripes
made such beautiful sights
as they plowed through an angry sea.
They talk of the bread ole' cookie would bake
and the shrill of the boatsun's pipe
and how the salt spray fell
like sparks out of hell
when a storm struck in the night.
They remember mates already gone
who forever hold a spot
In the stories of old
when sailors were bold
and lubbers were a pitiful lot.
They rode their ships through many a storm
when the sea was showing its might
And the mighty waves
might be digging their graves
as they sailed on through the night.
They speak of nights in a bawdy house
somewhere on a foreign shore
and the beer they'd down
as they gathered around
cracking jokes with a busty whore.
Their sailing days are gone away
never more will they cross the brow
But they have no regrets
for they know they've been blessed
'cause they honored their sacred vow.
Their numbers grow less with each passing day
as their chits in this life are called in
But they've nothing to lose
for they've all paid their dues
and they'll sail with their shipmates again.
I've heard them say before getting underway
that there's still some sailin' to do
and they'll exclaim with a grin
that their ship has come in
and the Lord is commanding the crew.
Larry L. Dunn
Just a poem today... enjoy the chips ... buffalo
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Happy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fred lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed
because
he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms.
One day
he could not stand it anymore. He decided to commit suicide. He went
to the
top of a tall building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on the
pavement
below skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked
closer
and noticed this man didn't have any arms at all.
Fred started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for
myself, I
still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no
arms
skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how
glad he was
to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly,
useless and
was going to kill himself. Fred thanked him again for saving his
life and he
now knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could do it with
no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his
heels
again.
Fred asked "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said "I'm not happy; my arse is itchy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
all this time
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I don't know
http://www.thepostm
complaints
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Golf On Water
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Golf Parrot
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Golf Range
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missionary Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another missionary party from United States decided to go to Africa
to make friends with and converts of the native tribes. They decided
to take with them something that was unique and unquestionably
American.
After much research and debate, they decided that Pepsi Cola was the
most American product they could find!!! So, they packed up their
equipment and filled the cargohold of their transport plane with
hundreds and hundreds of cases of that specially American soft
drink... Pepsi Cola.
Then lo and behold, who did they run into in the deepest, darkest
area of the already admittedly dark continent... well, you guessed
it... the ever-present tribe of cannibals.
Well they tried to convert them, then they tried to escape from them
and finally, they beseeched the chieftan of the tribe not to eat
them. All to no avail.
But the Pepsi Cola did not go to waste... the cannibals used it to
stew the hapless missionaries. Slowly they simmered in the crock
pots, hours and hours on end until they were pink and juicy and
ready to serve.
And the cannibals began feasting. From the top of the missionaries'
heads, they ate downward til they reached their private little
things. Then from the tip of their toes, the cannibals ate upwards
until they again reached the missionaries private little things.
They devoured every single morsel of the cannibals bodies... except
for their private little things. And do you know why?
Because things go better with Coke!
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golden Age of Country
Enjoy hours of memorable and influential hits from the 50's and
60's. This incredible collection features 158 hits from country
legends like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, George Jones and more. Music
that truly represents the golden age in country music history.
Plus, you'll receive a special bonus volume.
View Web Version
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a
church.
A blonde patient was being counseled by the doctor at the local
health clinic. "Until the penicillin cleans out your infection, you
can't have any relations whatsoever!" The young girl replied, "Okay,
but what about friends and neighbors?"
"So he asked me what I wanted, and I told him, 'A long, strong,
stiff
one.'" "Oh, my!" "Yeah, but you should have seen his face when I
said, 'I meant a drink!'"
What does a blonde call a blow job in a Honda?
Her Civic duty
How can a girl tell when her date suffers from premature
ejaculation?
When he comes walking in the door.
Why do nurses make poor lovers?
Because they always wait for the swelling to go down!
How does a lesbian hold her liquor?
By the ears.
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of assorted creams!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bear Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear.
Realising his mistake, he reports the incident to the local ranger.
A week later, he gets a letter in the mail, telling him that he is
being taken to court by the park service. Arriving at court, he
explains to the judge what happened, and the judge comes to a
decision.
"As you didn't kill this protected species intentionally, I don't
intend to send you to prison", the judge says. "However, it is
still a serious error on your part, and I intend to deal with you by
way of a fine, based upon the body weight of the animal".
"For every one pound of body weight, you will be fined $10".
Consulting his records, the judge finds the weight of the bear, as
recorded by the park services, and calls for a calculator. After a
minute of two, he calls the hunter to the bench, and gives his
judgment; a fine of $9,000.
The representative of the park services jumps to his feet, and
approaches the judge. "Your Honor", he says, "With the greatest
respect, I believe you've made a mistake in your calculations"
"We weighed the animal shortly after it was shot, and it weighed a
total of 1000 pounds". "Surely, based on that measurement, the fine
should be $10,000".
The judge looks at the ranger, and says, "I made a calculation,
taking into consideration, the animals' weight, minus its two front
paws".
Looking rather confused, the ranger asks, "but why did you not
include the front paws in your calculation?
"Because", the judge replies, "Every American has the right to bear
arms!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cardio Twister - Get Fit with a Twist
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks,
and go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying
themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?" Ole
replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Michigan, da land of
snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little
bit, don't ya know.' The devil decides that these two aren't
miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns
to the room of the two guys from Michigan's Upper Peninsula, the
devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and
drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in
abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Sven
replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere
at da Soo, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's
dis nice.' The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see
straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat
because they have been cold all their lives.
The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next
morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging
everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to
wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the
room with Ole and Sven.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and
mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and
screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't
understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing
cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?' They both
look at the devil in surprise and say, "Vell, don't ya know; if hell
is froze over, dat must mean da Lions von da Super Bowl!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
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Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol Leads to Better Sex
Rather than damaging a man's sexual performance, a good, stiff drink
actually improves a man's sexual prowess in the bedroom. Australian
researchers found that men who drink report as many as 30 percent
fewer problems than those who didn't drink at all.
Dr. Kew-Kim Chew, of Western Australia's Keogh Institute for Medical
Research told London's Sunday Telegraph that men who drank within
safe, moderate guidelines seemed to have the best erectile function.
In Chew's study of 1,580 Australian men, even binge drinkers
functioned better sexually than those who never drank.
"We found that, compared to those who have never touched alcohol,
many people do benefit from some alcohol, including some people who
drink outside the guidelines," Chew said.
The study found that low risk drinkers - those who consumed up to
twenty drinks a week spread over five days - had the fewest sexual
problems. Those who drank on weekends only and those who were binge
drinkers suffered lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who
drank only one day a week or drank none at all. Men who performed
the poorest were heavy drinkers who had stopped drinking and those
who smoked or had heart disease.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Packet of catnip
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Love of God http://silverandgol
Carolyn w Dream Lover~ Bobby Darin
http://carolynsprec
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Tribute to the Troops
http://mywebpages.
Look Who's Talking #3
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
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Surfin Surfari
Know your basic rots Via Dianne
http://www.building
World's Fastest Street legal GPLimousine
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Pizza Tracker http://www.dominos.
Worms!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
World's Most Private Search Engine
http://www.ixquick.
Twinkies~New Angels
http://www.simplysa
Glitter 3 ~ NEW
http://www.simplysa
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://vetinfo.
Kitty Korner
http://www.vetinfo.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
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Movie Links
Ernest Borgnines Tip For A Long Life
http://www.buffalos
Finish Jackie
http://www.buffalos
Flirting Garbage men
http://www.buffalos
Football Season
http://www.buffalos
Geenautomeernodig
http://www.buffalos
Mouse Wont Work
http://www.buffalos
Movie TV Bed
http://www.buffalos
M Rip It Up
http://www.buffalos
The Flies In Florida Are Tough
http://www.buffalos
Dunk Shot
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leave Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops. One man he passed
sported an enormous erection.
"Sergeant-Major!
compassionate home leave."
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replied.
A few months later the same thing occurred with the same
man. "Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate
home leave," the Colonel barked.
A few months later, same guy, same problem. The Colonel is
angry. "Sergeant-Major! Haven't we given this man two compassionate
home leaves?"
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replies.
"Then what's his problem, Sgt. Major?" the Colonel asks.
The Sgt. Major salutes and says, "Sir. It's you he's fond of."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
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Real genuine leather
Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bite my ass
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bite the stick
http://www.buffalos
bitter
http://www.buffalos
bj
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bj 2
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-Tastic is the incredible, easy-to-use, roll-on cracked heel
renewal that helps soothe,relieve and soften. The earth-to-skin
Heel-Tastic is made with anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients
that penetrate deep to the source to soothe dry skin. Heel-Tastic
is also great for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows and even cuticles.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A neurotic young playboy named Gleason
Liked boys for no tangible reason
A frontal lobotomy
All but cured him of sodomy
But ruined his plans for the season.
A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
A singer named Ursula Greville
Had a lousy affair with the devil
Her bush was so thick
It obstructed his prick
So he sent for the Barber of Seville
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the young page boys in Arthur's castle was particularly
attractive to, well, those knights who leaned that way.
The unfortunate fellow was forced to juggle his schedule to the
point
where he could no longer perform his royal duties -- even if he
didn't have "conflicting appointments,
sleep.
Something had to give. In desperation he made an appointment to see
Sir Jacko during office hours -- and explained his predicament as
well as he could.
The knight decided to call a meeting among those knights who had
been
calling on the boy. After drinks had been passed around, he called
the meeting to order and began: "Before we start I'd like to be sure
we're all on the same page..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Background Check Them-You have the Right to Know the Truth!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roland, a multi-talented man with a variety of interests, had just
completed one hell of a busy day..
First he drove 25 miles to a university campus to perform a
Beethoven piano sonata, then shared his opinion at the local city
council meeting, then practiced shooting his 9-mm Glock at the gun
range, then finished his weekly newspaper column, and topped things
off with a terrific sexual encounter with a gorgeous, seductive
woman he'd met just the day before.
What's the best way to describe the jam-packed day Roland
experienced?
He drove a piece, played a piece, said his piece, fired his piece,
wrote his piece, and got a piece.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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