THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
History is the sum total of the things
that could have been avoided.
~Konrad Adenauer
Good morning postman fans!
Great truths about growing old:
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Forget the health food.
I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down,
you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation
from a rocking chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,
but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Time may be a great healer,
but it's a lousy beautician.
Wisdom comes with age,
but sometimes age comes alone.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
buy one get one free
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i010.html
messed up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i011.html
no hurry
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musical faces
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i013.html
invasion,run!
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bachand
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drink and drive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i016.html
ash directions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i017.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
cat fight
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a feeling that lasts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8804.html
fed ex delivers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8805.html
at Seaworld
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Larry the cable guy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8807.html
Death metal baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8808.html
diet candy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8809.html
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical.
As the doctor was listening to his heart with the
stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!" The man asked
the doctor, "What's the problem?" "Well," said the doc,
"you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?" "No,"
replied the man. "Do you drink in excess?" "No."
replied the man. "Do you have a sex life?" "Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur,
you'll have to give up half your sex life." Looking
perplexed, the old man said, "Which half -
the looking or the thinking?
______________
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got
separated. When they ran into each other later the
first old lady said to the second,
"My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied,
"Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can
they display such a thing! Why the penis
on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out,
"...and cold, too!"
______________
This couple already had several children, including
two rambunctious twins, and the husband was thrilled
when the doctor announced they were going to have twins
again. He told his wife that she should start
thinking of names. "Well, let's see." she said.
"We already have Adolph and Rudolph. How
about Getoff and Stayoff?"
______________
Gail, the attractive secretary was inclined to brag
way too much about her "dates" to suit the other
women in the office. One day, she was going on and on
about a Texan who had treated her like a Queen all
evening and at the end of the date, gave her 2
hundred dollar bills for "cab fare".
"Imagine that," came a voice from the other side
of the filing cabinets, "A hundred-and-eighty
dollar tip."
________________
It happened at a summer resort, as so many things
do. The young executive was sitting at the bar,
quietly drinking himself into a stupor, when an
attractive redhead sat down beside him and ordered
Scotch and water. They got into a harmless
conversation, and as the evening wore on they became
progressively more friendly. After the umpteenth
round, he leaned over and whispered in her ear.
"Let's ge a bottle and go up to my room." She
focused her glassy stare on him.
"I'll have you know I'm a lady," she slurred.
"I realize that. If I wanted a man,
I'd send home for my brother."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
6664
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AA.WMVPV
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Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdeeree.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Four Trunk Monkey Clips
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000603.html
Fox Sports Trailer
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000604.html
Freakin Brothers
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000605.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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