THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and HANG ON!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
By the time a person reaches my age,
they have usually lived long enough to
figure out what they are good at in life.
For some, this may be a bit of a disappoint-
ment.:) But anyways, that is another story.
One thing I have always discovered, I am a
better joke teller than I am a poet. Go figger,
eh, bet u never knew that, huh?
Well, I may have written a poem or two to the
war department back in the day
, back when the flame burned
bright and courtship was in the air. I am not
sure how bad they were, but who knows, may have
been goodnuff to steal the old lady's heart.
you think?
Well, winter days and no motorcycle make the
postman a little stir crazy. Thats also known
as cabin fever, and before long, you try different
things to keep occupied. So, what the hell, I
wrote me a poem!!! Surprised the chit out a y'all huh?
But yeppers, and you know what? s'bout WINTER!
in Fact that is the name, and here it is....
WINTER!
Fuck, its cold.
The end.
So whaddja think ??? I done good, huh?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
envy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i030.html
relax
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i031.html
new meaning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i032.html
thanks mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i033.html
finger print
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i034.html
trojans
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i035.html
nothing left
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i036.html
cheating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i037.html
______________
I thought it was proper.
Tom spent most of his time on the can
__________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Roy D Mercer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8816.html
do the dance!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8817.html
the sounds of mt.dew
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8818.html
mule reporter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8819.html
oh say can you see
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8820.html
the truck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8821.html
redneck power windows
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8822.html
__________
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students
put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see
why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still
didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she
had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when
the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any
easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them
on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked
to get the boots back on -- this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her
tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots.
My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should
laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she
had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said,
"Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them
in the toes of my boots..." Her trial starts next week.
_______________
Flying on Obama's private plane (AKA: Air Force 1)
Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, "You know, I
could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now
and make somebody very happy!" Oprah shrugged her
shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten People very happy!"
Michelle added, "That being the case, I could throw one
hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred
people very happy." Hearing their exchange, the pilot
rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots
back there. I could throw all of them out of the window
and make 65 million people very happy!"
_________________
Two gay guys called Cyril and Cecil are in a train
compartment with just one other passenger, a city-type
reading his New York Times. "Cecil?" asks Cyril.
"Do you mind if I fart?"
Cecil replies, "Of course not, luvvy! Go ahead!"
And with that Cyril emits a "Pffffffffff! "
like an emission of steam, barely audible.
A few minutes later Cecil asks, "Cyril?
Do you mind I have a little farty poo?"
"No, darling!" says Cecil.
And Cyril duly replies with a "Psssssssss!,"
a mere whisper in the air. The City gent puts down his
newspaper and says, "I couldn't help overhearing you
fellows, but would you mind awfully if I had a fart?"
Cyril and Cecil reply, "Don't be shy on our part,
ducky!" And with that the City gent lets out a
"HRRRRRMPPPPPHHHHHHFFFFFFFF!!" window-rattling, ear
splitting, foul-smelling, pickled eggs and draft
beer fart. With that, Cyril turns to Cecil and says,
"You can always tell a virgin!"
_______________
After forty years of marriage, Frankenstein and the
Bride of Frankenstein came to a stand still in their
love life. Each night Frankenstein would come home
from work, eat his dinner, and sit in front of the
television set until he fell asleep. Dissatisfied
with this arrangement, the Bride decided to see a
therapist."He's never in the mood," complained the Bride.
"Try a romantic candlelight dinner," suggested the
therapist. The next day, the Bride returned to the
therapist with a frown on her face. "He's still not
in the mood," she complained.
"This time," the therapist recommended, "try something
more seductive. Put on some sexy lingerie and
lure him into the bedroom." But the Bride returned
to the therapist the following day complaining that
her monster of a husband was still not in the mood.
As a final piece of advice, the therapist said,
"You should try to recreate the moment that first
sparked your romance." The next day the Bride returned
with a huge grin on her face. "Thank you so much,"
she said to the therapist. "Last night, I forced
Frankenstein to come outside in the middle of the
lightening storm. And right there, in our backyard,
he made love to me like it was our very first time."
"Making love in a lightening storm put him in the mood?"
asked the therapist.
"Well," said the Bride of Frankenstein,
"I tied a kite to his penis."
______________
Poor bastard finds out that his wife was in a
terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital,
runs in to the ER and yells that his wife's been in an
accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the
case and page the doctor. The doctor comes out to
the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"
The doctor sits next to him and says, "I'm afraid
it's not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in
two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones,
"what will be her prognosis?"
"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However,
her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills
or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours
to prevent pneumonia and bedsores."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll
also have to diaper her, as she'll have no control over
her bladder, and those diapers must be changed five
times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries,
sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have
to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have
no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge
quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent
she'll be emitting." Now Mr. Jones is convulsing,
sobbing uncontrollably and beginning
to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats
Mr. Jones on the shoulder.
"Hey, I'm just fucking with you,
....she's dead.
___________
A Jew and a Christian were arguing about the ways
of their religion. The Jewish man said, "You people
have been taking things from us for thousands of
years; The Ten Commandments, for instance."
The Christian replied, "Well, it's true that we took
the Ten Commandments from you, but you can't actually
say that we've kept them!"
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Free Kick
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000606.html
Free Shower
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000607.html
French Lesson
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000608.html
BUFFALO BILL
Dhl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsd.htm
Dog Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/moviezg4.htm
Doggie Has Too Much Fun
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjuk.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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