THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The stylus is more potent then the claymore
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Have you heard the latest? it is
The ULTIMATE in
Women's Body Piercing.
Biggest turn on for guys!
Men all over the country are
Urging their wives and
Sweethearts to get this 'chic'
Procedure . The going rate on
The east coast now exceeds
$10,000 . Many men feel it is
Worth it .
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
its cool
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j020.html
you're doing it wrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j021.html
I'm practicing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j022.html
so simple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j023.html
the cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j024.html
faster than a corvette
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j025.html
what cats see
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j026.html
baby diapers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j027.html
ding dong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j028.html
cause for celebration
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j029.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Five Rangers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8858.html
colon rectal surgeon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8859.html
chicken danc
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8860.html
no kissing in boxing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8861.html
good ole Mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8862.html
think big
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8863.html
Hitler and the Massachusettes seat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8864.html
______________
A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert,
comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or
the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle
of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle
-- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.
Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the
tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate
to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken
bones, and some bruises.After weeks in the hospital
recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party
one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears
the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from
the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the
tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His
friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,
sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd
you ruin my good tea kettle?"The desert man replies,
"Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
______________
A man and his brother were driving from Chattanooga to
Atlanta for the weekend to see their mother. On the
way down, they saw a man on the side of the road
trying to catch a ride. The hitchhiker looked okay,
he had on a nice black suit and a brown briefcase in
his hand. So, the two men picked him up. On the way,
the man kept fumbling around in his briefcase for
something. The two brothers were beginning to become
afraid there was something horrible in the briefcase,
so the older brother said, " What's in the briefcase."
"None of your business," the man replied.
They continued on down the road. By now, the two brothers
were really scared The younger brother was on the
verge of a nervous breakdown. "What's in the briefcase?"
the younger one asked again nervously.
"None of your business," he replied a little louder.
After a while the older brother pulled over into a gas
station parking lot and the two brothers got out.
" What do you think we should do?" one of them asked.
"Tell him to go to the bathroom because it's going to
be a long ride," the other replied. So, they went back
and told the man to go the bathroom. And he went. When
he returned he found that the two brothers had driven
away and left him behind. The brothers grabbed the
briefcase and snapped it open, and you know what
was in it?
It's None of Your Business!
__________________
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner
after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician
and member of the congregation was chosen to make the
presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He
was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few
words while they waited."I got my first impression of
the parish from the first confession I heard here. I
thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very
first person who entered my confessional told me he had
stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police,
was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money
from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an
affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave
VD to his sister. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I knew that my people were not
all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish
full of good and loving people.".....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician
arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately
began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll
never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,"
said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being
the first one to go to him in confession."
Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE
____________
A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As
the officer approaches the car he can see that the
man is very anxious about something.
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it
is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."
______________
'Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods,
when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf",
says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs
away. Further down the path Little Red Riding Hood sees
the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree
stump. "My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf", says
Little Red Riding Hood. Again the wolf jumps up and
runs away. Some distance further down the path Little
Red Riding Hood again encounters the Big Bad Wolf, this
time crouched behind some bushes. "My what big teeth
you have, Mr Wolf", taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams...
"Will you fuck off, I ate the three pigs and all that
grease gave me the shits"',
______________
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her
husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home
unexpectedly , sees them going at it on the bed and he
crawls into the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's
husband comes home early. She puts her lover in the
closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there
already. The little boy says , "Dark in here." The
man says , "Yes , it is." Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man -
"No , thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK ,
how much?" Boy - "$100" Man - "Sold, but you have to
keep quiet about this.." Boy - "OK."
In the next few weeks,it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark
in here." Man - "Yes , it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson
infielder's glove." The lover , remembering the last
time , asks the boy , "How much?" Boy - "$400" Man -
"Highway robbery. Sold." A few days later , the father
says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside
and have a game of catch." The boy says , "I can't ,
I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks , "How
much did you sell them for?" The boy says , "$500" The
father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that... that is way more than those two
things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you
confess your greed." They go to the church and the
father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth
and he closes the door. The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again ,
you're in my closet now.
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Another Quarter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/o3i4rj.htm
Anti-Telemarketer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0934d.htm
Anivirus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/or3.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Gay Song
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000627.html
Gentlemen Must Be Escorted By A Lady
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000628.html
George Bush Quotes
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000629.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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