THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot.
Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
-Jay Leno
______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I hope that everyone of you had a great New Years
party, that was both safe and fun.
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
the countdown
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g060.html
don't worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g061.html
when they drop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g062.html
I've already broken my new year resolutions...
how bout we start working on yours?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g063.html
blowing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g064.html
I'll have what he had
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g065.html
noisemakers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g066.html
redneck threesome
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g067.html
you wanted a dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g068.html
needle in a haystack
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g069.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8753.html
Poice officer prank on new year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8754.html
New Year animation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8755.html
Happy new year from oink and moo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8756.html
The end of the party
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8757.html
Merry Christmas and Happy New year from Tigger!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8758.html
The doctor was lecturing a class on sex.
He asked, "Do you know what
the first oral contraceptive was?"
A coed said, "No."
The doctor replied, "Exactly!"
________________
Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned
his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in
his hometown and then left for Manhattan where he quickly
rose to the top of his field.Soon he was invited to deliver
a significant paper, at a conference held in his hometown.
He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but
they slid off onto the floor.As he bent over to retrieve
them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently
farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly
through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall!
He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure
just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding
applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in
his hometown again.Decades later, when his elderly mother
was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room
under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness.
The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our
city, Mr. Cohen?"Dr. Drobkin replied, "Well, young man, no,
it isn't. I grew up here, received my education here, but
then moved away." "Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk
clerk."Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an
embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too
ashamed to return."The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't
have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that
often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by
others. I bet that's true of your incident too."Dr. Drobkin
replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my embarrassment."
"Was it a long time ago?"
"Yes, many years."
The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?"
_________________
A Cleveland family of football supporters head out one Saturday to
do their Christmas Shopping. While in the sports store, the son
picks up a Pittsburgh Steeler jersey and says to his older sister,
"I've decided to become a Steeler fan and I would like this for
Christmas."His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks
him round the head and says, "Go talk with mom." Off goes the little
lad with the Pittsburgh Steeler jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?" "Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler fan, and I
would like this jersey for Christmas."
The mother is outraged, promptly whacks him around the head and
says, "Go see your father."
Off he goes with the Pittsburgh Steeler jersey in hand and finds
his father."Dad?""Yes, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler fan, and I
would like this jersey for Christmas".
The father is so outraged he, too, whacks his son around the head
and says, " No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half hour later they're all back in the car heading towards
home. The father turns to the son and says, "Son, I hope you've
learned something today?"The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good, son. What is it?"
The son replies, " I've only been a Pittsburgh Steeler fan for an
hour and I already hate you Cleveland bastards."
_____________
COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .
TOUGHNESS COUNTS!
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down..
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Lions win the Super Bowl
____________
Morris was screwing his best friend's wife when he
suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding
his head in his hands."What the hell is your problem?"
the lady asked."I feel like a regular son of a bitch,
getting my best friend's pussy," the man moaned.
The lady reached over and patted him on the back.
"Well, if that's all it is, you can stop worrying,"
she said. You're not getting his pussy...."His pussy
is three to four inches deeper."
_______________
Rex was standing in the lingerie store staring at a
collection of Wonder Bras.The clerk noticed he had
been there for some time and that he appeared to be
having trouble picking one out. She walked over and
asked him if she could be of assistance.Rex answered,
"Well... if it's a Wonder Bra, am I supposed to pick the
size she is, or the size I want her to be?"
___________
"He's great on the court," a sportswriter said of a
college basketball player in a interview with his coach.
"But how's his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."
__________
Love Making Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
BUFFALO BILL
Eric O Shea
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfdr.htm
Escuta Essa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/athyuj.htm
Examendeprostata
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhhgjh.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Which Dress Up Doll Are You?
http://tinyurl.com/ch2cox
Christmas Character Name Generator
http://tinyurl.com/ygqcjsc
Green Terror Game
http://tinyurl.com/cj69fl
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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