THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself."
Tolstoy
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The temps are finally warming up. not much,
but some. As my old pappy would say, it was
colder 'n' a witches tit this weekend! Temps down
in single digits. etc. I never did ask him what
he meant by that expression. Mostly because when you asked
pappy questions, you were likely to get back handed
because he thought you were being "smart mouthed".
But that's another story. Colder n a witches tit...
(or witch's teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly
left a marking that witch hunters and courts would
look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly,
witches would suckle their familiars, and sometimes
the Devil himself, from this "unholy" body part.
To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots
on the skin called devil's marks--caused by the
Devil's claws or teeth--the suspects were stripped,
shaven, then closely examined for any blemishes, moles,
or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To
find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would
poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle
(called a bodkin) until they found a spot that
didn't feel pain or bled. Discovery of these marks
or spots--one supposes they would be considered
cold since they were a sign of communion with the
Devil--would be "proof" of the person's dealings
with Scratch, so they would be shown in
full court before the execution.
Wow, the stuff you learn from this page, huh?:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
a good spot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i001.html
beware of dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i002.html
Father I have sinned
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i003.html
message from the president
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i004.html
naked airlines
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i005.html
a show of hands
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i006.html
the ittle dutch boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i007.html
pain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i008.html
sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i009.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
pidgeon impossible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8795.html
Al Gore sued for global warming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8796.html
Elmo's potty song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8797.html
drunk bus driver
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8798.html
Sponge Bob sick pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8799.html
Larry the Cable guy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8800.html
Bavaria beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8801.html
Mr. Turner's drunk driver test
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8802.html
______________
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters
when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a
moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he
immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, Ma, why bring
that up at a time like this?"
________________
A large two-engine passenger train was crossing the
U.S. from New York to Los Angeles. After they had
gone about a third of the distance one of the engines
broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought,
and continued on half power. Farther on down the line,
the other engine broke down, and the train came to a
standstill. The engineer decided to inform the passengers
the reason the train had stopped, and made the following
announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some
bad news. "The bad news is that both engines have failed,
and we will be stuck here for quite some time. "The good
news is that you decided to take the train
instead of a plane!"
______________
A blonde woman goes to the supermarket. She starts
walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes
to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and
her crotch. After doing this a for a number of aisles
a store clerk approaches her and ask if she is having
a problem. She shakes her head and says "no."
Perplexed he asks why she stops at each aisle and touches
her head, ears, breasts, and crotch.
"Oh" says the blonde, "I'm just trying to remember my
grocery list." Puzzled, he asks for an explanation,
so she goes thru the motions again.
She touches her head and says, "Head of lettuce."
Ears: "Two ears of corn."
Breasts: "Two chicken breasts."
Crotch: "Fantastic."
____________
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour
of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting
hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"
The host said proudly, "That was three years ago,
when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife," replied the hunter
______________
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were
very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell
something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I
made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to
appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that
approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said,
"I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines
would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher
held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of
the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's
desk "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467," cried the teacher, "what in the world were you selling?"
"Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny. "Tooth brushes,"
echoed the teacher, "how could you possibly sell enough
tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny.
"I set up a Chip and Dip stand. I gave everybody who
walked by a sample. They all said the same thing...
'Hey, this tastes like shit!'
Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Cubs Game
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khgfcf.htm
Cucumber Sandwich
http://www.buffaloschips.com/wjsxo.htm
Dancing With A Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khjkj.htm
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
For The Lover
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000597.html
Forgot Key
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000598.html
Forklift Warehouse Collision
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000599.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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