[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 


With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of
control, mud slides, flooding, severe
thunderstorms tearing up the country from one
end to another, and with the threat of swine
flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this
is a good time to take God out of
the Pledge of Allegiance?' 
Jay Lenno


____________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
My thanks to all who have written to me after
this recent visit to the hospital. My mail box
overflows with well wishes and email from my
readers. I am doing well here at home. Seems
that the docs want to do a re evaluation of all
the meds I take. So I have a long road ahead
of me. While my breathing issues seem to have
stabilized for the moment, there are some concerns
about my diabetes and high blood pressure. Seems
that perhaps things may not be as good as they
could be. I have pretty much been sticking to home
and not going very many places at the moment.
Its probably a good thing given the cold temperatures
outside. I hope everyone is having a great day
today!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________

THE COMICS

don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h010.html

save a rubber tree
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h011.html

China
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h012.html

I see you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h013.html

the pirate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h014.html

wishes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h015.html

dad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h016.html

Monica's choice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h017.html

deer hunter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h018.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

at the gun range
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8773.html

shagged by a parrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8770.html

Are you lonesome tonight-senior moment version
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8771.html

Javelin live fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8772.html

Tiger by the tail
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8774.html

_______________

A woman went to see her psychiatrist. "I'm really
concerned," she said. "The other day I found my daughter
and the boy next door together, naked, examining each
other's bodies and giggling." The psychiatrist smiled.
"That's nothing to worry about, it's pretty normal."
"Well, I don't know," said the woman, "It worries me.
It worries my daughter's husband, too!"
_____________

Paddy was in   New York. He was patiently waiting and
watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.
The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.'   Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on
the sidewalk.After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!'
for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is
it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
__________

A man lost both ears in a fire  accident. No plastic
surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very
good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon
examined him, thought a while, and said, "yes, I can put
you right."After the operation, bandages off, stitches
out, he goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage,
he calls his surgeon, and yells,"You fucked up, you
gave me a woman's ears." "Well, an ear is an ear, it
makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's."
"You're wrong,I hear everything, but I don't understand
a fucking  thing!
____________

A Russian and Ole the Norwegian wrestler were set to
square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final
match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said,
"Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this
Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel'
hold he has". Whatever you do, do not let him get you in
that hold! If he does, you're finished'. Ole nodded in
acknowledgment. As the match started, Ole and the Russian
circled each other several times, looking for an opening.
All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Ole
and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh
of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach
buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.
He couldn't watch the inevitable happen. Suddenly, there
was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach
raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying
up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Ole
collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the
match. The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded. 
When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How
did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done
it before!"  Ole answered, "Vell, I vas ready to give up
ven he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened
my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of
my face...I had nuttin' to lose so wid my last ounce of
strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just
as hard as I could." So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what
finished him off!" "Vel not really. You'd be amazed how
strong you get ven you bite your own nuts!"
____________

The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian.
One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.  An agitated
voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"
"Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet," the wife
asked? "Both," the caller replied. "We can't get our dog's
mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
___________

BUFFALO BILL

Foul Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjuk.htm

Fox Hat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anmnh.htm

Fragrance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkio.htm

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 



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