Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For most of the people in the area, we have gotten enough
snow before these below zero temperatures of the past few
weeks to prevent freezing of pipes but there are a lot of people
outside of the city that are doing without water till the
thermometer
warms up again. Some have been told to let their faucets run
at the size of a pencil to prevent freezing but that has never
worked well for me. Sometime in the middle of the night
someone would get a drink and turn the water off and by the
time I got up in the morning the water was frozen. This has never
been a problem in town with a basement but it was a constant
problem out in the country. To make matters worse we had plastic
lines coming in from the well and you couldn't thaw those with
a torch or an arc welder. Instead I had a long row of thin nylon
tubing and I would start a siphon to a bucket of hot water
and slowly feed the tubing down till it melted the block. It was
cold, wet, dirty work laying in the dirt under the house but it
was always a race to thaw things out before pipes broke or
something more expensive like a pump or toilet froze and
cracked.
In a lot of ways even worse was a frozen septic system. Normally
the bacteria in a septic system generates enough heat that it won't
freeze but if you leave your water running you are putting a lot of
water in there that can freeze and winter gets old real fast when
you can't use the toilet.
There are people that enjoy this time of year though. First is the
companies that rent or sell salamanders, and not the reptile type.
They are little fuel oil heaters with a fan that blow hot air under
your house to thaw pipes, a necessity especially if you live in
manufactured housing with skirting. Oh well about another month of
really bad cold and then things will start to warm up.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEC Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more
to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at
Harvard.
At GEORGIA : it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone
an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.
At FLORIDA : it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to
figure
out how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA : it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce
about
how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an
NCAA investigator.
At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks
and
three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester
hours.
At KENTUCKY: it takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss
how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE: it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in,
two to
buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and
talk
about how much they hate Alabama.
At MISSISSIPPI STATE : it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb,
two to
buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".
At AUBURN: it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to
talk about
how they did it better than at Bama, and fifty to get drunk and roll
Toomer's
Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA : it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999
to
discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent
football team.
At ARKANSAS : None. There is no electricity in Arkansas
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
dad
http://www.thepostm
Monica's choice
http://www.thepostm
deer hunter
http://www.thepostm
First Time
http://www.sydesjok
First Timers
http://www.sydesjok
First US Flag
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a straight guy who can't get a date is called a loser, what is a
homosexual who can't get a date called? A poor sucker
A guy is driving 90 miles per hour late one night in his convertible
with his amorous girlfriend when she reaches over from the passenger
seat, unzips, and starts to give him head. He gets so excited, he
loses control of the car, which flips 12 times and crashes. A
policeman walks up to the guy, who is still buckled in and alive,
and says, "Your girlfriend was thrown from the car and killed. You
sure are lucky." "Lucky? Go look in her mouth!"
Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed," many men
still sleep with their wives.
A teacher is reading her class the story of Chicken Little, and
says, "Chicken Little ran up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is
falling! The sky is falling!'" She looks at the class and says,
"What do you think the farmer said to that?" "I know!" says Rotten
Willie. "I'll bet he said, 'Holy shit! A talking chicken!'"
The dove is the bird of peace, but the bird of true love is the
little swallow.
It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a
roast in the oven, then went down the street to pick up some dry
cleaning. "Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked
down Main Street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so
she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up and
asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it
is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer." The bartender
asked, "Anheuser Busch?" Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine,
tanks, und how's yer pecker?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why were lesbians created?
A: So feminists couldn't reproduce!
Q: Why did god give women nipples?
A: To make suckers out of men.
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Q: Why do gay men have mustaches?
A: To hide the stretch marks.
Q: What do you call a guy with a one inch dick?
A: Justin.
Q: Why haven't they cremated Colonel Sanders yet?
A: They can't decide whether to do him regular or crispy.
Q: What did the wife do when she found out her husband was
gay?
A: She turned around and took it like a man.
Q: What's the difference between a boxer and a woman?
A: A boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman lies
down to get knocked up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The manager of ladies' dress shop realized it was time to give one
her sale clerks a ' pep talk '. "Jane, your figures are well below
any of our other salespeople'
sales record soon, I'm afraid you'll have to let you go."
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," said a humbled Jane. "Can you give me any advice
on how to do better?"
"Well, there is an old trick I can tell you about. It sounds silly,
but it's worked for me in the past. Get hold of a dictionary and go
through it until you come to a word that had particular power for
you. Memorize it, work it into your sales pitch whenever it seems
appropriate, and you'll be amazed at the results."
Sure enough, Jane's sales figures went way up, and at the end of the
month, the manager called her in again and congratulated her. "Did
you try my little trick?" she asked.
Jane nodded. "It took me a whole weekend to find the right word, but
I did:.... ' Fantastic.' "
"'Fantastic.
"How have you been using it?"
"Well, my first customer on Monday was a woman who told me her
little girl had just been accepted at the most exclusive prep school
in the city. I said, 'Fantastic.' She went on to tell me how her
daughter always got straight A's and was the most popular girl in
her class, I said 'Fantastic' and she bought $300 worth of clothing.
My next customer said she needed a formal dress for the spring ball
at the country club, which she was in charge of. I said 'Fantastic.'
She went on to tell she had the best figure of anyone on the
committee and her husband makes the most money. I said 'Fantastic'
and she not only bought the designer gown, but hundreds of dollars
of other merchandise. It's been like that all week: the customers
keep boasting, I keep saying 'Fantastic', and they keep buying."
"Excellent work, Jane," complimented her boss. "Just as a point of
interest, what did you used to say to customers before you
discovered your power word?"
Jane shrugged. "I used to say, 'Who gives a shit ?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He
was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was
playing
herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his
help. She welcomed his help, and so the man started playing her like
crazy. When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see
her go back to work on herself with both hands. Wasn't I good
enough?"
he asked sheepishly. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are still
itching!"
Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She
went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a
tummy
tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and
thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally. Her
personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new
"body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in. "Bambi,
your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that
often affects women your age, osteoporosis.
"Osteo--what?
their
40s." Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen
me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones
quite often!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glasses Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of
glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you
just got a new pair last month!"
"Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,"
stammered
the private.
"Accident, what kind of an accident?" The Captain looked in his book
of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing
Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"
"No, no nothing of those..." said the private.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I'd rather not tell you sir..."
"Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the
medical
officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now."
"No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted
the
private.
"Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a
girl?"
"You see, she crossed her legs....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Sweet Smile
http://silverandgol
John w/ Happy Birthday Elvis
http://heavens-
TexasBob w/A White Thumb Tack?
http://texasbobswor
You Are
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Free Starbucks Coffee Recipe E-Book Via Dianne
http://www.coffeefa
Olmec Via Wesley
http://www.anomalie
Caltech Scientists Discover Fog on Titan Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Feather Painting 2
http://www.shangral
Christmas Song
http://www.youtube.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Tattoo Font . com - Best place for free tattoo fontsVia Wesley
http://www.tattoo-
Customizable workspaces for online collaboration Via Wesley
http://onehub.
YouTube Video Dubbing Tool - What Fun ! Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thepuppy
Kitty Korner
http://www.boreme.
Aww Animals 4
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
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5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Fin Potato Whore
http://www.buffalos
Fire hose Rodeo
http://www.buffalos
Fly
http://www.buffalos
Football As It Should Be
http://www.buffalos
For Men
http://www.buffalos
Finalized MTG Minutes
http://www.buffalos
First Day At The Rifle Range
http://www.buffalos
First IT Consultant
http://www.buffalos
Fishing Boat
http://www.buffalos
Fitness
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playboy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS YOUR NEIGHBOR IS A PLAYBOY PLAYMATE
You get an angry phone call at 2 AM. describing
your barking dog as "a real turn-off."
Every bush in her yard is trimmed in the shape of
bunny ears.
Your wife forbids you to do yard work.
Cops break up loud parties at her place just like
anywhere else, but they suck their guts in and pop
a few Tic-Tacs before knocking.
Your son: "C'mon dad, PLEASE let me camp out in
the backyard!" You: "Son, go home before your
wife and kids start to wonder where you are."
The Neighborhood Watch program takes on a
whole new meaning, thanks to a bunch of lonely
guys with binoculars.
Her lawn is kept completely bare on the edges
and trimmed neatly down the middle.
There's always a traffic jam on your street when she
is mowing the lawn, and you live on a cul-de-sac.
You've spoken with her hundreds of times but still
have no idea what color her eyes are -- or if she
even *has* any.
Attendance at your neighborhood barbecue sky
rockets after she announces she'll "bring the buns."
After helping her trim her trees, your husband
bring home more wood than you can handle.
There are so many 13-year-olds mowing her
lawn it sound like the Indy 500.
You have a steady stream of teenage boys asking
if you'd like your walk shoveled. In August. In
Orlando.
Her occupation is listed clearly as "Playboy
Playmate" on the restraining order she just took
out against you.
Your local Domino's new guarantee: "Your pizza
is there in four minutes or less, or your neighbor
can spank us like naughty, naughty little boys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfect Fit Buttons are the quickest and easiest way to add or
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Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
cold nose
http://www.buffalos
college
http://www.buffalos
combo
http://www.buffalos
come in
http://www.buffalos
come to bed
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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View Web Version
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There Once Was A Girl, A Humdinger,
Around Whom The Boys Like To Linger,
While Babbling Of Love,
But Got Nowhere. ''Go Shove!''
She Would Say As She Gave Them The Finger.
A Passionate Maiden From China,
Would Gently Caress Her Vagina.
She Fondly Would Linger
With Each Little Finger,
As Though Nothing In China Was Finer.
Since Transplanting Has Proved To Be Viable,
And My Dong's Been Less Plied That Pliable,
Why Not Graft, As A Ringer,
My Trusty Third Finger,
Which, These Days, Is Far More Reliable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Home Smart Power Dock
Say goodbye to counter clutter forever with Power Dock. Keep your
cell phone, charger, music player and more without any tangling.
Hooks are also attached for hanging keys. Stay organized, charged
and ready to go whenever, wherever - from your home to your office.
Order today and we'll double the offer.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy
plans
the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie,
in
great detail. The robbery begins.
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to
Buffie,
"I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are
supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes
with
the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Buffie.
Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes . . . Two minutes pass . . . Seven minutes pass .
. .
and Judy is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got
a
safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the
time
she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open
again as the security guard comes running out with his pants and
underwear down around his ankles.
As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I
thought you understood the plan!"
Buffie said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Judy. "I said tie up the GUARD and blow the
SAFE!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prevent pet accidents in your home with Pet Zoom Pet Park. It's made
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Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
the office.
Protect your upholstery and flooring with Pet Zoom Pet Park.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under a tree a lion tries to sleep, when he hears strange laughing.
He
rises and strolls to the bushes where the laughter seems to come
from.
Behind the bush a group of elephant bulls is sitting in a circle and
they
are
laughing their heads off.
Lion: "Hey elephants, why are you laughing?"
Elephant: "We are fucking some monkeys"
Lion: "Well, I do that as well, but I don't see what's so funny
about
it."
Elephant: "Because they don't burst when YOU cum."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
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Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1755
2010
BJ: Any new year's resolutions guys?
Rudy: I resolve not to leave any food on my plate in 2010.
Sandi: You didn't last year.
Rudy: Well I think I left some on my plate last June.
BJ: You Katie?
Katie: I can see little to improve upon.
Sandi/Rudy/Diana/
Katie: Okay. I will try to listen more, to be more cooperative.
Rudy: LOL
Sandi: Har de har har
BJ: You can do that girl, I have faith in you.
Diana: You can do anything you put your mind to girl.
Katie: See I am doing better already.
BJ: You Sandi?
Sandi: I will try to help others more.
Diana: You do that already.
Sandi: I can do more, share more.
BJ: Come here girl and get a hug. >>> <<<
Diana: I want us to remain a close knit family.
BJ: Here here!
Katie: Where where?
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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