THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Only the extremely ignorant or the
extremely intelligent can resist change
Socrates
______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
There is not a lot happening this morning here
in our beautiful corner of West Michigan. Unless
you work for the snow removal crews and snow plow
companies. We were blessed with several inches of
snow in the last 24 hours. For me and Turk, the dog,
this means some difficulty getting bathroom trips
done. Turk has a definite aversion to "white stuff"
as do I. It also meant cancellation of my planned
trip for coffee to McDonalds yesterday morning.
I have not been out of the house since last Monday
afternoon when I came home from the hospital. There
might be a few who welcome the snow, such as skiers,
sledders, and kids happy for school to close. I doubt
anyone is overly happy. The frigid temperatures, well
I don't think anybody at all is happy with that part of
it. Around here, temps have plunged to single digits,
and I hear the weather man saying there is no warmth
expected real soon. :(
When you go out and about today,
be safe. Dress warm, and allow yourself a little
extra time to get where you are going.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
getting started
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h020.html
the newest best selling children's book
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h021.html
Darth Vader calls home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h022.html
baby class
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h023.html
prevent accidents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h024.html
career choices
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h025.html
calling in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h026.html
what I said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h027.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
ventriloquist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8775.html
funnys on the water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8776.html
life's hazzards
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8777.html
magic cigarette
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8778.html
pregnant lady on a bus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8779.html
the seesaw
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8780.html
A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular
checkup. "Any specific problems you should tell me about?"
the doctor asked."Well, I have noticed lately that if I
get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,"
she replied. "Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?"
"Well," the doctor answered, "hemophilia is a genetic
disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is
possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how
much you lose when you have your period?"
After calculating for a moment the hooker replied, "Oh,
about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."
_____________
A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after
an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to
come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain
and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The cowboy grabs the doc's arm and says. "No way. I
hate needles. I'm not having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas."
The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very
sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass
of water, "Here, "he says. "Take this pill."
The cowboy asks, "What is it?"
The doc replies, "Viagra."
The cowboy looks surprised and asks,
"Will that kill the pain?"
*"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you
something to hold on to while I pull the tooth."
______________
Rodney Dangerfield
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
If it weren't for pickpockets,
I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started
crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the
morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a
two-bagger. That's when you put a bag
over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly...
They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
____________
Vicki was still feeling a bit weak and not up to par
after her recent bout with the flu and went to see
her doctor. After a quick examination, he said, "You
look weak and exhausted! What have you been doing? Are
you getting out in the fresh air, getting enough
exercise, and having your meals 3 times a day, as I
advised on your last visit?"
Vicki looked up, a bit surprised and exclaimed, "Oh doc,
I've sure been getting the first two, but on that last
one, I woulda swore you said three males a day!"
________________
Thinking that to be a great bargain, a woman
called, and bought the dog, sight unseen and
asked if the dog could be delivered.
The next day a van pulled up and left her the
scruffiest, mangiest, looking mongrel she had
ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who
had placed the ad. "What do you mean by calling
that mangy mutt a purebred police dog?"
"Oh, don't be deceived by his looks, Ma'am," the
man replied. "He's undercover."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Fin Potato Whore
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akijk.htm
Fire hose Rodeo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jskisl.htm
Fly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akidf.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Flying Tackle
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000589.html
Football Game
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000590.html
Football Gets People Talking
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000591.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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