Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Before I get to the list of holidays for the month
of February I would like to mention that this is also
National Marijuana Month. I also would like to mention
that marijuana possession and use still violates a lot
of state and federal laws. Observe the law or you may
be celebrating Justice Awareness Month followed in
October by Prison Awareness Month.
In Michigan though they passed a medical marijuana initiative
last November. Since then there has been over 3,000, 000
claims of Glaucoma in Detroit alone. Oddly enough there are
only 891,000 people in Detroit.
February 1 is Serpent Day
February 2 is Purification Day
February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day
February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day
February 5 is Disaster Day
February 6 is Lame Duck Day
February 7 is Charles Dickens Day
February 8 is Kite Flying Day
February 9 is Toothache Day
February 10 is Umbrella Day
February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Day
February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day
February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day
February 15 is National Gum Drop Day
February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day
February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day
February 18 is National Battery Day
February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day
February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day
February 21 is Card Reading Day
February 22 is Be Humble Day
February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day
February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)
February 26 is National Pistachio Day
February 27 is International Polar Bear Day
February 28 is Public Sleeping Day
February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day
Enjoy the chips and Go Saints.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the days of the Depression, a family had trapped a few ducks. As
they needed some things only money could buy, the father requested
his three sons take a duck each and travel off trying to sell them.
They agreed and headed off on seperate ways.
The youngest of them knocked on the door of a nearby farm house and
a shapely young blonde farm girl answered the door.
"S'cuse me ma'am" said the guy. "I'm wunderin' if y'd be intrested
in buyin this here duck frum me". The women replied "I'd sure like
me that plump duck to cook fur our supper, but I aint got no money
to spare". "How about a fuck for it?" she asked. The man didn't
hesitate and replied "Sure!".
After they'd done the deal, the lonely farm girl said "If'n yer fuck
me again - ya can have the duck back".
So he did, and afterwards headed off along the road with the duck
still under his arm. Soon a large truck roared past the man which
frightened the duck so much that it jumped out of his arms and right
under the wheels where it was squashed.
The truck driver stopped and got out to speak with the man who
explained that he was out trying to get money for his family by
selling the duck. The truck driver felt remorse and offered the guy
a dollar for his trouble. The man agreed and headed for home with
the money in his pocket.
That evening as they all gathered around the table, the father asked
them how they did.
The first son replied "I done good pa, I got me three dollars fur my
duck".
The second son replied "I done better 'n him pa, I got five
dollars".
Then the third son leaned back in his chair showing a cheeky grin
and said "I done better 'n all uf yers, I got a fuck for a duck, a
duck for a fuck and a buck for a fucked up duck!".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
neatness counts
http://www.thepostm
totem pole
http://www.thepostm
shit hits the fan
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Results of a recent survey show that there are 7 kinds of sex:
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both
have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and
you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your
sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your
bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When
you
pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and
Nun at night.(Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex
* This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to
court and screws you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex
* You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time Life - The World at War - The most powerful documentary ever
made.
The ultimate visual history of World War II. From North Africa to
Stalingrad, D-Day, Iwo Jima, and Japan. Experience hours of footage
once deemed too shocking for the public eye. Unseen video collected
from the archives of 18 nations. Includes bonus DVD! Order now and
never look at WWII the same again
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think my sister's marriage will last. Her new husband has a
foot fetish, and on their honeymoon, he got off on the wrong foot.
Conversation between wife and husband over chessboard: "This reminds
me when we were dating." "We never played chess in those days,
Gladys." "No, but even then it took you two hours to make a move."
Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage? She was
strapped for cash.
Two lesbians who would like to have a child visit the local adoption
agency. The agency does some background research. When they are
completed, the couple returns and is told, "Sorry, we don't give
minors to lickers
What do you call a faggot in the navy?
A Rear Admiral.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What do a Speedo and a cheap hotel have in common?
No ball room.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is
to cluck
defiance
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golden Age of Country
Enjoy hours of memorable and influential hits from the 50's and
60's. This incredible collection features 158 hits from country
legends like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, George Jones and more. Music
that truly represents the golden age in country music history.
Plus, you'll receive a special bonus volume.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pane Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pastor of a church was taking his first trip away on a Sunday,
and he asked another pastor to come in and preach the service for
him.
The substitute pastor agreed to come. He was quite young, just out
of seminary, and this was his first time preaching.
When he got up to speak on Sunday, he tried to explain to the
congregation why he'd come, and give them some comfort about it. He
pointed up to the stained glass windows to illustrate this. "You
see where there's a missing pane, and there's a piece of cardboard
over it? That's sort of what I'm doing. I'm just filling in the
space until your pastor returns."
He went on about this a little bit, then went into his sermon. The
young substitute pastor gave a wonderful, inspired talk that Sunday.
After the service, a lovely old woman came up to him, took his hand,
and said, "Pastor, don't you ever let anyone say that you're like
that piece of cardboard. Believe me, you are the real pane!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs
With the combination of memory and supporting foam, now your pets
can get the comfort they deserve. This bed conforms to your dog's
body giving them overall support and relieves arthritis, hip, joint
and muscle pain. Best of all, the waterproof liner prevents stains
and odors and stops liquid damage.
This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A white guy is involved in a horrible car accident and is partly
mangled in the wreckage. Among the other injuries, and perhaps the
most traumatic, was that his penis had been severed. Anyway, a few
days later in the hospital once his condition was stabilized, a
doctor came to see him about picking out a new penis to be sewn on
later.
"Wow, I didn't even know they could do that," said the patient.
"Well, all you have to do is look through this catalog and pick the
one you want and we can take care of the rest," the doctor assured
him.
So, the guy starts flipping through the catalog and finds some
prospects in the first few pages. As he gets near the end though,
he comes across some abnormally large options. "Man! I didn't know
they got that big!" he cried. Then turned the page and again, "Holy
shit, that's even bigger!"
The next page had an even bigger member that he could choose.
Filled with excitement he yells down the hall, "Hey Doc, do any of
these big ones come in white?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cardio Twister - Get Fit with a Twist
The Cardio Twister is a great way to work your whole body using only
one machine. The bi-directional step motion and upper body support
works your arms, back, shoulders, abs and obliques.
Burn fat, firm and sculpt your body plus get flatter, tighter abs.
Try the Cardio Twister today for only $14.95.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Fourth Grade concert is fast approaching and Johnny has still
not decided what he will do. Little Sarah is going to do a piano
solo, Mikey will recite a poem, but Johnny can't come up with
anything.
Finally, his frustrated teacher is relieved when he tells her he has
worked out his act.
Come the night of the concert, all the proud parents fill the hall
and watch as Sarah, in her prettiest dress, tickles the ivories to
rapturous applause.
Then Mikey steps out in his best suit and recites his poems to the
delight of the audience.
Finally, out comes Johnny, in checked shirt and denim overalls. He
steps up to the microphone and says: "Ladies and Gentlemen. My
uncle owns a farm and every holiday my family visits him there. His
wife, my aunt Martha, always cooks a real down-home country meal for
us all, and we feast and stuff ourselves silly, for days on end.
Tonight, I would like to share with you my impression of some of the
many sounds I hear on my uncle's farm. Here is the first: "Johnny!
Why don't you get your ass off the shitter and give someone else a
chance?!""
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a
Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.
Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Love of God
http://silverandgol
Marlene- I'm feeling Mighty Fine
http://summerhoosie
Ultimate Freedom
http://www.openmyey
John w/ Happy Groundhog Day
http://heavens-
Mini Baby Art
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Stop Asian Carp Via Peggy
http://www.stopasia
Tenants' Rights Flash Cards - New York State Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Man torches car battling frost Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
NFL.com - Official Site of the National Football League
http://www.nfl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bios Beep Codes
http://www.computer
http://www.pcguide.
Heart Maker
http://www.acme.
Web Design~ New~Color Find Tool
http://simplysally.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.youtube.
Kitty Korner
http://www.dailykit
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Get Flashed
http://www.buffalos
Little Brother
http://www.buffalos
Mohammed Brand Condoms
http://www.buffalos
Man In Line
http://www.buffalos
Mechanic
http://www.buffalos
He Is Alive
http://www.buffalos
Incident Action
http://www.buffalos
Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team
http://www.buffalos
PD Budget
http://www.buffalos
Great tequila Commercials
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Janet," asked the Sunday school bible teacher, "Tell the class,
please who was the first man?" "I'd rather die first!" she snapped.
"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement?" "Well,
although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a
lot to be desired."
I think I'm going to give up on being a flasher and retire --
although I might try to stick it out for another year.
Vinnie and Hank are drinking, when Vinnie leans over and starts
stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my
wife's pussy." Hank strokes it himself and says, "You're right."
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.
What's blue and comes in Brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What's the slogan for the new tampon?
"We may not be number one, but we're still up there!"
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School
reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bj sand art
http://www.buffalos
bj bar
http://www.buffalos
bj discount
http://www.buffalos
burger king
http://www.buffalos
black daddy
http://www.buffalos
blame
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
organized so you can find what you need fast. Store everything
neatly and securely in a wallet that fits in the palm of your hand!
Real genuine leather
Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper
Buy 1 Now for only $9.95 and Get a 2nd one FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boobs
Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace
Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip out
They stay put just where they are
And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt
But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go
Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"
Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me
Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned
There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep
Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute
Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru
In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow
Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while
And there's my sweetie who totally accepts me
For he loves each and every little bit
He says "stay as you are
You're the most beautiful by far"
As he gazes into my eyes not my tits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
organized so you can find what you need fast. Store everything
neatly and securely in a wallet that fits in the palm of your hand!
Real genuine leather
Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper
Buy 1 Now for only $9.95 and Get a 2nd one FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hockey fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a
foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They
stopped and discovered a nude female drunk and passed out.
Out of respect for the lady, the Calgary fan took off his cap and
placed it over her right breast. The Vancouver fan took off his cap
and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Leaf
fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted
his inspection. First, he lifted up the Calgary cap, replaced it,
and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Vancouver cap,
replaced it, and wrote down some more notes.
The officer then lifted the Leaf cap, replaced it, then lifted it
again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last
time.
The Leaf fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a
pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?"
" Well, " said the officer. " I am simply surprised. Normally when
I look under an Toronto Maple Leaf's hat, I find an ass-hole."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-Tastic is the incredible, easy-to-use, roll-on cracked heel
renewal that helps soothe,relieve and soften. The earth-to-skin
Heel-Tastic is made with anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients
that penetrate deep to the source to soothe dry skin. Heel-Tastic
is also great for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows and even cuticles.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny is not an Obama fan
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama
fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little
Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said,
"Because I'm a Republican."
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny
answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so
I'm a Republican."
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron
and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an
Obama fan."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
remove and free the drain instantly! What's best, its flexible
design easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs without
having to remove the drain stopper. For bathroom sinks, showers &
tubs. Each set includes the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs,
Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment