Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Got up this morning and worked on mail for awhile but to tell you
the truth my office was cold. It is snowing, 10 below zero, and
windy.
Admittedly I work in shorts and a T-shirt and the inside of the
house
is still in the high sixties, there is a draft coming through here
that
makes my bones ache. I wish there was more snow out there
because banked up around the house to about six feet, it makes a
good insulator but after the recent thaw the basement walls are
bare.
Problem is the furnaces are down in the basement which is about the
same as if you put a hairdryer in your freezer and then ran a hose
through the inside of your freezer and over to your hair. Your hair
isn't
going to dry very fast and it is costing me a fortune to stay warm.
Last
month's gas bill was over 450.00 and I spent 2700 on gas last year.
Anyhow, I got cold so I went back to bed for a couple of hours. I
got back
up and my email wasn't working. Wouldn't download anything, wouldn't
delete anything, and wouldn't save anything either. I rebooted and
the
problem was still there, only in Outlook and everything else was
working
as normal. I played with it for about an hour and finally checked my
deleted folder and it had 2100 emails in it. It took six minutes to
delete the
mail and another 10 minutes or so for the computer to get everything
moved around and finally my email started to download. Outlook has
fewer
problems mail storage than Outlook Express but I seem to be coming
up against some limit and will have to do some major housekeeping
soon.
Enjoy the Chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proposal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should
consider carefully before proposing marriage.
* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square
thing?"
* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?
* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic
surgeon.
* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local bikers?
* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on
her?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old
boyfriend's?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green
Bay Packers?
* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-
* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?
* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma's House
of
Painful Delights?
When to Accept a Proposal... Or Not
Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should
consider carefully before accepting a proposal of marriage.
* On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you could
help with his laundry?
* To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the local
adult bookstore?
* Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of "Gilligan's
Island" at least four times?
* Is it unclear to some people whether that's a mustache or just a
lot of unruly nose hair?
* Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has its
own stack of ketchup packets?
* Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?
* Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase "Industrial
Strength?"
* Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one
bail-bondsman?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
distractions
http://www.thepostm
vibrating
http://www.thepostm
he's not here
http://www.thepostm
Going To Work Monday
http://sydesjokes.
Golf Chip Shot
http://sydesjokes.
Golf Funnies
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yarn Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abraham is an old Jewish guy who is a yarn merchant. He lives next
door to the biggest anti-Semite in town.
One day the anti-Semite calls up Abraham and says, "Hey Jew!!!... I
need a piece of orange yarn. The length must be from the tip of your
nose to the tip of your penis, and I want it delivered tomorrow."
Abe says, "OK."
The next morning the Anti-Semite is awakened at 7am by the sound of
running engines. He runs outside to see a row trucks lined up one
after the other, dumping truckful after truckful of orange yarn in
his front yard. Soon ,his yard is a 5-feet deep sea in orange yarn.
Abe then presents a bill for $18,000 to the anti-Semite.
The guy starts yelling and screaming at Abe. "What is this, Jew?
This
is not what I asked for! I told you I needed a piece of yarn from
the
end of your nose to the tip of your penis. Look at this place! What
do you have to say for yourself?"
Straightfaced, Abe replies "I'm very careful when I deal with people
like you, that's why I got a few witnesses here with me. I may be
off
by a few miles, so I gave you a 2% discount; but... the tip of my
penis was left in Poland after my circumcision!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs
With the combination of memory and supporting foam, now your pets
can get the comfort they deserve. This bed conforms to your dog's
body giving them overall support and relieves arthritis, hip, joint
and muscle pain. Best of all, the waterproof liner prevents stains
and odors and stops liquid damage.
This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
David is the same as ever." gossiped his wife on the telephone. "All
he ever thinks about all day long is sex... sex... sex."
"Now that's just not true at all." called out David, relaxing in his
recliner. "For the past half-hour, I've been laying here thinking
about you."
~~~
One day, a mom was cleaning her son's room, and in the closet she
found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She
hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it, and handed it back to her without a word. She
finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"
The dad looked at her and said "Well, I don't think you should spank
him."
~~~~~
Q: What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
A: I'll see you next period.
~~~~~
I can understand why men don't like vasectomies. My uncle
got a vasectomy, and paid for it with Mastercard. He forgot to pay
the bill, and the finance company came over to his house and knocked
up my aunt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time Life - The World at War - The most powerful documentary ever
made.
The ultimate visual history of World War II. From North Africa to
Stalingrad, D-Day, Iwo Jima, and Japan. Experience hours of footage
once deemed too shocking for the public eye. Unseen video collected
from the archives of 18 nations. Includes bonus DVD! Order now and
never look at WWII the same again
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drinking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How drunk are you? Official drinking test.
This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you
really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below
truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer
values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a
final answer.
1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she:
(a) the most beautiful woman alive;
(b) a beautiful woman;
(c) attractive;
(d) ugly as sin.
2. Think about your job. In your mind, is it:
(a) the best job on the planet;
(b) a good job;
(c) a decent job;
(d) the most annoying job ever.
3. Try walking. What happened? Did you:
(a) find it impossible to stand up;
(b) fall after standing up;
(c) walk fifty feet before falling flat on your face;
(d) walk one thousand feet without falling.
4. How did you get to the bar? I got here in:
(a) my brand new chauffer-driven limo;
(b) a brand new car;
(c) a used car;
(d) a rented, rusted, and damaged 1950 japanese import.
5. What do you think of your strength? I am:
(a) invincible;
(b) stronger than anyone in the bar;
(c) as strong as the average man;
(d) a weak and pathetic being.
Question answer values
For every question answered with an A, add ten points.
For every question answered with a B, add five points.
For every question answered with a C, do not change the score. For
every question answered with a D, subtract five points. For every
question answered with an E, add one hundred points.
Results
For scores ranging from fifty to 135, congratulations.
You're over and above the normal drunk.
Generally, at least they are able to select a valid option.
An e option does not even exist on this test.
You should probably check yourself into a hospital for alcohol
poisoning.
For scores ranging from thirty-five to fifty, you had ten too many
beers. If you plan on driving home, make out a will first--that is,
if you can even remember your own name. Lastly, don't even think
about standing up.
For scores ranging from fifteen to thirty-five, you have had one too
many beers. Don't drive unless you want a higher insurance rate.
Standing up will probably result in injury.
For scores ranging from zero to fifteen, you may want to stop
drinking now. You have probably had enough beers but don't drive
unless you want a ticket. If you choose to ignore the tip to stop
drinking, it is not a problem; you probably still have the ability
to stand up.
For scores ranging from negative twenty-five to zero, you must just
be getting started! I bet you don't even have one beer in you. In
terms of driving, you are probably just getting out of the car and
are walking to the bar this very moment.
This document was written by the employees at Glowport.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cardio Twister - Get Fit with a Twist
The Cardio Twister is a great way to work your whole body using only
one machine. The bi-directional step motion and upper body support
works your arms, back, shoulders, abs and obliques.
Burn fat, firm and sculpt your body plus get flatter, tighter abs.
Try the Cardio Twister today for only $14.95.
View Web Version
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some guy is claiming that a tonic of beer and urine will improve
your
garden. Come on, if that was true, wouldn't frat houses be like
tropical rain forests?
Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to re-think her
plans to nurse.
Fireman Bob rushed into a burning building and
rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only
in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He
carried her in his arms down three flights of
stairs and saved her from her sure demise.
As they arrived safely a wash of gratitude rushed
over her. She looked at him with great fondness
and admiration, then said, "Oh, you are wonderful!
It must have taken great strength and courage to
rescue me the way you did."
"Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to
fight off three other firemen who were trying to
get to you first!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a
Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.
Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Corn Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're
walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock
on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers. The
first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a
drink.
The women says, "Sure, if you fuck me."
The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then
sleep with your fat smelly ass."
The second man wants to live and agrees to do the deed. The second
man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside.
The women says, "fuck me then!" The man agrees to do it only if she
will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full
of corn on the cob. He picks one up, fucks her with it and throws it
out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.
The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied
and agrees to give the gentleman and his friend some water. The man
calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give
them some water.
The friend replies, "Fuck the water, I want some more of that
buttered corn."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Papa's Bible
http://silverandgol
Carolyn w/ Doin' The Best I Can ~ Elvis Pesley
http://carolynsprec
John w/ A Wonderful Time Up There
http://heavens-
New Beginnings
http://www.carolspo
Just Thinking
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Biggest and Brightest Full Moon of 2010 Tonight Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.
The Coconut Crab - Wow
http://tinyurl.
Strange Haunted House Pics Via Dianne
http://www.freaking
Free On-Line College Courses Via Wesley
http://www.ocwconso
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
BBC News - Phone texting 'helps pupils to spell'
http://news.
IDDD Country Codes Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Shopping Lists
http://members.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.viyo.
Kitty Korner
http://www.beyondfl
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Candid Camera Africa
http://www.buffalos
Clean Your Glasses
http://www.buffalos
Dimitri The Stud
http://www.buffalos
DNA Test
http://www.buffalos
Dronkrn
http://www.buffalos
Microsoft No More Keyboards
http://www.buffalos
Monkey's helping Hands
http://www.buffalos
Moose family
http://www.buffalos
More Fishing With Bill Dance
http://www.buffalos
Mortar Fire
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. A man of 35 thinks of
dating children.
Sue lay sprawled in sweet exhaustion on the bed, wearing a red
ribbon in her bright blonde hair. Beside her, wearing not even a
ribbon, Mark slowly lit two cigarettes and passed one to her. For a
long moment smoke and silence hung in the air. Then: "My mother
always told me to be good," Sue said with a little smile.... "Was I
?"
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3
hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting
on"
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I
go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off
before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into
the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak
up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and
my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His
buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up
the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her
on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?'... and, she always acts
like she's sound asleep!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
baboons
http://www.buffalos
bed
http://www.buffalos
beer goggles
http://www.buffalos
before sex
http://www.buffalos
bitchin head
http://www.buffalos
bite my ass
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
organized so you can find what you need fast. Store everything
neatly and securely in a wallet that fits in the palm of your hand!
Real genuine leather
Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper
Buy 1 Now for only $9.95 and Get a 2nd one FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady from Cheam
Who tried out a breast-growing cream
She awoke in the night
With a terrible fright
Another had grown in between!
All Hail to the glandular Girlie...
The sight of whose bust makes you squirlie
It is never too late
to MANipulate
And, of course, it is never to early!
There was a young lady of Gloucester,
Met a passionate fellow who tossed her.
She wasn't much hurt,
But he dirtied her skirt,
So think of the anguish it cost her
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heel-Tastic is the incredible, easy-to-use, roll-on cracked heel
renewal that helps soothe,relieve and soften. The earth-to-skin
Heel-Tastic is made with anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients
that penetrate deep to the source to soothe dry skin. Heel-Tastic
is also great for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows and even cuticles.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time
to time, cleans up and is willing to fulfill her role without undue
complaining.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't
lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes
to be with you.
5. Finally, it's very, very important that these four women not know
each other.
Sincerely,
Tiger Woods
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mister Steamy - Steam Laundry Ball
Get soft, de-wrinkled clothes without an iron or dryer sheets.
Mister Steamy is the revolutionary new dryer ball with the power of
steam. Just add water, toss it in the dryer and as the dryer heats
up the ball steams up.
Turn your dryer into a wrinkle releasing machine.
Order today and we'll double your offer.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an
operation..
She was awake, so he examined her.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked, "How long will it be before
I am able to have a normal sex life again
doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be
all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll
be fine.
It's just that no one has ever
asked me that after having their tonsils out."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
remove and free the drain instantly! What's best, its flexible
design easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs without
having to remove the drain stopper. For bathroom sinks, showers &
tubs. Each set includes the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs,
Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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