THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Reason is the natural order of truth;
but imagination is the organ of meaning.
- C.S. Lewis
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was watching a movie the other day and
it reminded me of a favorite passtime of my sister
and me, growin up on the farm. We absolutely loved
it on a hot summer day when a storm front rolled
in. We always asked permission from momma to
go out and walk in the rain. Out on the prairie
land, you could have a 90 degree day where the
wind was perfectly still. And when the storm
clouds came up on you, they dumped very warm
raindrops. Felt more fabulous than a jaccuzi.
or a hot tub. We didn't know what those things
were back then, but it was wonderful. Like a
big giant sprinkler. Momma always said the
same thing: "It's ok, but if it starts to
lightning, you better come in the house." I
wonder why. I'm not sure the house was a
building of safetey. We lived in a converted
old "machine shed", a building once used to
store tractors and equipment. It was a wood
frame, and interestingly, it had a corrogated
steel roof. If there ever was lightning, most
likely it would zap us in the house before it
ever struck us outside. Actually, the safest place
to go would have been the barn. At least the
barn had lightning rods. (If you don't know what
those are, ask a baby boomer who grew up on a
farm). There are a couple of conclusions to this
story:
1. Momma didn't always know what was the
safest choice.
And more importantly...
2. It is probably demonstrates what "the war department"
has been saying all along. What with all them walks in
the rain growin up, it proves why I am "all wet"
to this day :)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
fit for a king
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h040.html
surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h041.html
quite a swelling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h042.html
Bill forgot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h043.html
hey Sonia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h044.html
hangover
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h045.html
organ replacement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h046.html
classic jokes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h047.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
deer comedy-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8788.html
Season's Eatings
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8789.html
the thermometer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8790.html
Tiger Woods on WII
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8791.html
Vichy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8792.html
getting the hair done
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8793.html
the snake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8794.html
A man watching a hockey game on TV kept switching
channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he
said to his wife. "For heaven's sake, watch them,"
his wife said."You already know how to play Hockey!"
____________
Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day." replied Roy. "I had to go to
a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep.
When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get
him into a body bag because he had this huge erection.
Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big
naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection.
So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see" said his wife, "but how did you get the black eye?"
Roy replied: "Wrong room."
_____________
A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought
the advice of a marriage counselor. The counselor
pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they
were adamant. "So," said the counselor, "you know the
consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You
must divide your property equally." The wife flared up.
"You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him
half? My money?""Yes," said the counselor. "He gets
$2,000. You get $2,000."
"What about my furniture? I paid for that."
"Same thing," answered the counselor. "Your husband
gets the bedroom and the living room; you get the
dining room and the kitchen." There was a challenging
gleam in the wife's eye. "What about our three children?"
That stumped him. Shrewdly he assayed the situation,
then he came up with a Solomonic answer. "Go back and
live together until your fourth child is born. Then you
take two children and your husband takes two."
The wife shook her head. "No, I'm sure that wouldn't
work out. If I had depended on that numb-nuts, I wouldn't
have had the three children I got."
________________
Three truck drivers die and go to meet God for
admittance. God asks the first driver if he had ever
cheated on his log books, taken drugs, or cheated on
his wife. He replied that he would never consider
such conduct and that he was a good man. God told him
to go stand on this big X on the floor.
God asked the second driver if he had ever cheated on
his log book, taken drugs, or cheated on his wife. He
replied 'Oh No I would never do any such thing." God
told him to stand next to the first driver on the X.
God then asked the third driver if he had ever cheated
on his log book, taken drugs, or cheated on his wife.
He explained that as much as he regretted it he had
falsified his log book, and taken some little white
pills because there was the cutest little blonde honey
in Dallas that he had ever seen.
At this point God pressed a button and the first two
drivers fell through a hole that opened under them. The
third driver, startled, asked what happens now?
God said "well those two liars are going to Hell and you a
nd me are going to Dallas.
___________
It was the worst rainstorm of the century. Half the
valley was gone!
Agitated, a man called the rescue hotline.
"Help me. I'm standing in two feet of water!"
The operator at the hotline said, "That's not exactly a
flood emergency around here."
The man said, "No? I'm calling from the fourth floor!"
________________
Mary: "Did you ever try that 'spouse-swapping' thing?"
Jill: "Well, My ex and I talked it over with our friends
Anne and Bill, but nothing ever happened."
Mary: "Why not?" Jill: "Anne wanted to be with me!"
____________
Mary: My #1 ex was probably the dumbest of all.
Jill: Why do you say that?
Mary: He came into the bedroom one night holding a
jalapeno pepper in his hand. I said, "Why in hell did you
bring that pepper to the bedroom?"
Jill: Well, what did he say?
Mary: He said, "You told me to add spice to our sex live
_________
BUFFALO BILL
Depression Medication
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjgf.htm
Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfre.htm
Disappointment
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghytg.htm
_________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Football Somersaults
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000595.html
Footsie
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000596.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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