Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got up this morning after only having been in bed for a couple
of hours just to run to the Credit Union to get some spending
money. I had tried to do that on the 31st but they closed at noon.
What is that all about? New Year's Eve isn't a holiday as my bosses
have pointed out in the past. They figured the less time you had
to drink on New Year's Eve the smaller your hangover was going
to be on the 2nd and in a factory inventory starts on the 2nd no
matter what day of the week it is.
Anyhow to get back to the original story, I used the remote starter
on the Jimmy while I was getting dressed and let it warm up for
5 minutes. The Suburban is quiet, you can hardly hear it running
but this morning it was complaining. I heard the power steering pump
howling and the heater motor making a growling sound while I was
in the hallway. That doesn't usually happen till you are below 0
degrees
and sure enough it was 10 below. Those nice soft bucket seats
were as hard as a park bench and brake pedal was stiff and the ABS
was growling at me. When I put it in gear it took a little extra gas
to
break free as all four tires were frozen to the ground.
Finally on the road I drove to the Credit Union about six blocks
away
and found out that the driver's window was frozen shut. I really had
no
desire to get out of the vehicle as it was now approaching freezing
inside the vehicle which was 40 degrees warmer than outside. I had
already pulled into the line for one of the drive-thrus but I knew
my
window needed more time to thaw so I left my spot where I was second
in line and pulled up to the middle lane where I was fifth and
waited.
Finally just before it was time to pull forward the window thawed
and I got my business done. From there I went to get gas and for a
penny a gallon more went to a full-service station. From there I did
some grocery shopping and now it is 1400 and it is 2 below outside.
It is supposed to get to 2 above 0 today and then warm up to the
teens during the week.
Stay warm and enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons
Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One
of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where
your mother ate us out of house and home."
~~~~~~~~
Did you ever wonder what the difference between a prostitute, a
girlfriend, and a wife are? The prostitute says "That'll be $100."
The girlfriend says "Oh, baby! I love you, I love you, I love you!"
The wife says "Beige. Yeah. Beige. I'll paint the ceiling beige."
~~~~~~
A man goes to his psychiatrist complaining about marriage problems.
The shrink asks him, "Do you talk to your wife during sex?" "Sure,"
says the guy, "I've got a cell phone!"
~~~~~~~
Me and a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work. One
Friday, Chad showed up particularly late, sat down at the bar, and
kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned and
said, "Times they are getting tough. I mean, just today, my wife
told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week! I
can't believe it." At which point I put his hand on Chad's shoulder
and said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad, she's cut me
out all together."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the countdown
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don't worry
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when they drop
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quaker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a clerk in a small town general store in the
South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began
filling a shopping cart with items.
This man was so distinctive in that he could have been
the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was
dressed in black, very tall and had that hat just like
the Quaker Oats guy wears.
Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let
alone talked to one. When the man reached the counter
with his selections the clerk could hardly contain
himself. "Are you a Quaker"? he asked as he was trying
to ring up the merchandise.
"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his
voice.
"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You're really a real
Quaker?"
The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes,
I am a real Quaker."
"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real
Quaker before. Would you say something in Quaker talk
for me?" asked the clerk.
The tall man ignored this request and waited for his merchandise to
be tallied up. As clerk finished ringing up the sale he said,
"Please mister, say something in Quaker talk?"
The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture
of secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear
the quiet reply. The man said, "Screw Thee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An cleaver woman I know wired up her vibrator to her bedside radio
and came up with the world's first radio alarm cock!
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat
things. 1st little boy says, "Alligator". "Very good, that's a big
word". 2nd boy says, "Predator". "Yes, that's another big word".
Johnny says, "Vibrator, Miss". After nearly falling off her chair,
she says, "That's a big word, but it doesn't eat anything." "Well my
sister has one and she says it eats batteries!"
"What bird best describes your wife?" "The Thrush. She's an
irritating bitch."
Three whores decide to see who has the biggest snatch. They get
naked, and start fingering themselves and each other. After a few
minutes, the first one squats on a glass top table, and then they
measure the slimy outline she leaves. The second one then squats on
the table, and then they measure the slimy outline she leaves, which
is even bigger. The third one squats on the table, but when she
stands back up, the first whore says, "You didn't leave an outline."
She says, "Smell the rim."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tax Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breast Tax Law
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis.
This is not quite true, there is one (or should I say 2) other
things: "1040 B Standard Breasts Tax Form" Since the IRS has decided
to tax men's penises, it has come to believe that women shouldn't be
left out. So they have decided that a Breast Tax is in order. Please
refer to the chart below for your tax computation:
AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!
* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for the
KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.
Boobs Checker,Internal Revenue Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Navel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brent has been in jail for 10 long years. The only thought that gets
him through the day is women's bellybuttons. He loves 'em. When he's
in the shower, eating a meal, making license plates, sleeping,
avoiding anal rape in the bathroom, that's all he can think about.
So finally, he is released. They give hime sixty-five dollars, a
cheap suit, and send him on his way. He makes an immediate bee-line
for the nearest whorehouse. Brent walks in and right up to the
sleazy-looking guy behind the desk. "I need to lick a woman's
navel!" he shouts. "Sorry, sir," the owner says. "We don't serve
perverts here." Brent grabs the guy by the throat. "Listen!" he
screams. "I just did ten years hard time, and if I don't get to lick
some bellybuttons, I might just kill some-motherfuckin'-body!!!" The
owner directs him to a run-down wooden door. He walks through and
sees an ugly, fat woman. That doesn't bother Brent, though, because
not only does she have huge breasts, she has the deepest navel he's
ever seen. Brent dives in immediately. He licks, and licks, and
licks.....and after a while, gets a piece of potato stuck in his
teeth. 'Hmmm, I don't remember having potatoes for breakfast,' he
thinks, but he keeps on goin'. He licks, and licks, and
licks.....and after a while, he gets a piece of meat stuck in his
teeth. 'I know I haven't eaten meat for a while,' he thinks, but
keeps right on goin'. He licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a
while, he gets a piece of corn in his teeth. That was the last
straw. "I think I'm going to be sick, he moans." "That's funny,"
says the whore. "That's what the last guy said."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hooker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this guy goes into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the
prosttute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants. The hooker
almost faints, the guy has a 18 inch cock. She says," Hold on pal,
I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but your not sticking that in me." The
man pulls up his pants and picks up his $50 and says, " Screw that,
I can do that myself !"
~~~~~~~~
The young virgin farm boy drives to the big city in search of a
prostitute. He finds one, and explains he has never had sex before.
The hooker says, " No problem, honey." She undresses the boy, then
herself, and lies down on the bed. He crawls on top of her. " Okay,
stick it in honey.....all the way in.... now pull it out......now
put it back in....... now pull it out......." " For christ sake,"
says the boy," Will you make up your fucking mind?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/One Of A Kind
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/GC/Frd.html
Carolyn w/ My Special Angel
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/myspecialangel.html
Love Is Like A Rose
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol28.html
Small Thoughts
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smallthoughts.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Consumer Information Center
http://www.savvyconsumer.org/
100 WAYS to LIVE LARGE on the CHEAP
http://www.cockeyed.com/magic/cheap/cheap.html
Real Playboy Bunny Calendar
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Best Bed Positions
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Browse & Install Google Chrome Extensions Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/yz7wnut
Schedule your Browsing Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/y98vlc8
(Malwarebytes)
http://www.download.com/3001-8022_4-1080...
(CCleaner)
http://www.filehippo.com/download_cclean...
(Superantispyware)
http://www.superantispyware.com/download...
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://mbdca.org/
Kitty Korner
http://www.best-cat-art.com/cat-and-kitten-stories.html
Snowshoe Hare Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/5vw6hg
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Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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Movie Links
Tricky Chick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdeew.htm
Vizella
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdfrrr.htm
Water park
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtyyt.htm
Well Trained Dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdewwq.htm
We've Been Had
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdssd.htm
Hand Boeienin Bed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012128.htm
Hill Climb
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012129.htm
Honey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012130.htm
How The Brits Taxi Jets
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012131.htm
Idiots
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012132.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MISS WADE
I love Miss Wade
Who teaches third grade
At P.S. 541.
I'd gladly trade
My frog for Miss Wade
'Cause Miss Wade looks like much more fun.
Miss Wade doesn't hop,
Miss Wade doesn't croak,
And flies you won't see her catch,
But I'd rather swap
My frog for a poke
Into Miss Wade's lascivious snatch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
batgirl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jcjnvnjf.htm
bmw
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjjhfhdf.htm
bmw incentive
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsfhdskjfgl.htm
boat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksfjdlkkri.htm
Bobbitt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nn%20n%20njnjff.htm
body language
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjjiikdk.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room
to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad
going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little
wink as Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.
He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and
little Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled, 'Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!'
Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so damn funny when its YOUR mom is
it?!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dryer Maid Dryer Ball
Get rid of pet hair from clothes, sheets and towels while they
tumble in your dryer. The Dryer Maid is like thousands of tiny lint
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old ladies lived way out in the country, only going into town on
Sundays for church. One Sunday, there was a strange pastor, a very
handsome man, in the pulpit, preaching away quite merrily. One of
the ladies, quite deaf, had to turn her hearing aid up fully.
As the old ladies were returning home, the pros and cons of the new
pastor was their main subject of conversation.
"I thought he was lovely," said one.
"He was, rather, wasn't he?" said the other.
"He was very loud, wasn't he?"
"Eh?" said the other, "what cloud?"
"I said, he was very loud."
"Eh?"
"I said, he was very loud," shouted the other. "Bawls like a bull."
"Has he?" said the first. "I never noticed. The pulpit was in the
way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice
up a dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt
and sits on the chesterfield. At strategic moments she crosses and
uncrosses her legs ...
enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless
panties?"
"Yes," she answers.
"Thank God for that. I thought the stuffing was coming out of the
Chesterfield."
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1750
Blizzard Pt 2
Rudy: What is 14.1 inches?
BJ: The amount of snow we got, not counting the 50 mile an hour
winds and the drifting.
Katie: Is that why we cannot open the back patio door?
Diana: Right.
Sandi: As long as we can go outside and do our thing, I don't mind.
It is nice and warm inside.
BJ: Rudy I thought you like the snow and cold weather.
Rudy: I like it when it is not as tall as I am. Heck I jumped into
one
drift and disappeared.
Sandi: I found you. I just followed the yellow path....heh heh
heh.
Rudy: Dern cold weather does that to a guy.
Katie: I am light and I can just run over the top of the drifts.
Diana: This will be gone in a few days, after all we do live in
Oklahoma.
Katie: Waaaa.
BJ: Me to.... Waaa.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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