THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
~H.L. Mencken
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
After the devastating earth quake hit Haiti
last Tuesday, 140 thousand people have been killed.
Within 24 hours, The United States responded by sending
over 100 million dollars worth of aid. No, I am
not going to get into comparisons of this and
the mismanagement of the Katrina affair, but there
is one question I want to ask. I wonder why it is,
with millions of houses in foreclosure and our own
United States facing a disaster of almost greater
magnitude in the housing foreclosure, that there has been
no such great response? With thousands of
American families homeless because of the
current financial meltdown?
I am certainly NOT suggesting that we should not
help. However,
My own conclusion is that apparently we Americans
are more moved by the homeless and desperate in
a 3rd world country than we are of our own neighbor
who has lost his home two doors down from us.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
adjusting the tv
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i050.html
pickup lines
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i051.html
what program
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i052.html
plane crash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i053.html
super glue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i054.html
a gay cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i055.html
Luke the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i056.html
growing old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i057.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Coca cola happiness machine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8828.html
the diet board
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8829.html
at the marina
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8830.html
a special man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8831.html
somewhere in the south pacific
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8832.html
the bug zapper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8833.html
A doctor was transferred to a very tough Marine commando
base. On the first day, three soldiers arrived to see
him. The first soldier marched in and snapped to attention.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I've got piles, Sir!" shouted the soldier.
"How have you been treating them?" asked the doctor,
as he examined the soldier. "I've been rubbing my ass
with a wire brush until it bleeds, Sir!"
"And what is your ambition in life, soldier?"
"I just want to serve my country, Sir!"
The doctor was amazed that a soldier in so much pain
just wanted to do his duty. Just then another soldier
walked in.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I've got gonorrhea, Sir!" shouted the soldier.
"How have you been treating it until now?"
"I've been rubbing the end of my penis with a wire brush
until it bleeds, Sir!" "And what is your ambition in life,
soldier?" "I just want to serve my country, Sir!"
Again, the doctor was amazed that a soldier in so much
pain just wanted to do his duty. Finally, a third soldier
walked in, and the doctor asked him about his problem.
"I've got ulcerated gums, Sir!" the soldier bellowed.
"Let me guess.... You've been rubbing your gums with a
wire brush until they bleed, right?"
"Yes, Sir!" replied the soldier.
"And your main ambition in life is to serve your country, right?"
"No, Sir... to be the first to use the wire brush, Sir!"
___________
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . .
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do Every time my
husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."
Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When
your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of
chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle".
2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn
and fresh again. Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea!
Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly
with chamomile tea and he never touched me.
Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
______________
The Marine patrol was on maneuvers in the desert.
The air was still and hot, the terrain arid and parched,
with not a drop of water in sight. Time was called for a break.
One private sat idly on a stone, his head in his hands.
"What's the matter with him?" asked the sergeant.
"Home-sickness," answered a private.
"We've all got that."
"Yes, but his is worse than for most of us --
his father owns a tavern."
______________
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that
he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis
affecting all of our armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened
and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15
Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had
just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster
walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them,
stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at
the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can
you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says,
"Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything,
do it!" The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked,
"What skills do you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers
in the Air Force, what else do you know how to do?"
"I just chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening
to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my twin brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "Dang it,
I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
____________
A father found his small son looking very unhappy.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
The boy said, "I can't get along with your wife."
____________
Q: How did the Grand Canyon come about?
A: A Scotsman lost a sixpence.
___________
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck,
and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my
name is Rachel and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've
never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is
Rachel, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car,
runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls
down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Rachel,
and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up
and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it,
he says...
"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Iowa and
I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
BUFFALO BILL
Home Paternity Test
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aiou.htm
Homemade Water Slide
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azxdc.htm
Homer Koehn
http://www.buffaloschips.com/avcf.htm
______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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