THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once
Julius Ceasar
THE WORLD AT WAR DVD
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____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Last night, the president addressed the nation.
In a State of the Union address that focused on the
economic challenges crippling America and the political
challenges that face Washington, President
Barack Obama declared:
"Despite our hardships, our union is strong."
The speech was punctuated by tough talk, hearty applause
from both sides, and an odd reaction from one Supreme Court justice.
The president tried to reassure Americans that he
understood their frustrations. He defended his decision
to support continued bank bailouts as "necessary,"
but emphasized that no one was happy about the move.
They were, he said, "about as popular as a root canal."
Reactions to the speech were mixed...
----------------------
I was unable to determine
just what type
of shotguns these
are in these pictures.
All I know is,
I'd love to have one,
or both,
I'll pass this along
to some of my friends
who've done some hunting.
Perhaps they'll be able
to identify them.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
home sweet home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k040.html
The Obama doll
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k041.html
The national average
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k042.html
Henry!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k043.html
hey Pop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k044.html
my dick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k045.html
his n hers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k046.html
wedding night
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k047.html
today's lunch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k048.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Street wheelies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8901.html
funny cats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8902.html
Best full court shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8903.html
Street court
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8904.html
naked and funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8905.html
Ned was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled
away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another
gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happened
to be open, so he used the dime in a slot machine and
hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went to the
blackjack table and turned his small winnings into
ten million dollars. Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams,
Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his
incredible story. He told his audiences that he was
eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever
found the man he would share his fortune with him.
After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped
up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you
the dime." "You're not the one I'm looking for. I'm
looking for the guy who left the stall door open!"
______________
A virile, young Italian man was relaxing at his
favorite bar in Milan, when he managed to attract
a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the
point where he invited her back to his apartment, and
after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom for sex.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile,
"So... you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, the young man reached for her and the
love-making resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly
and there are screams of passion.The love-making ends,
and again, the young man smiles, and again he asks,
"Now, you finish?"
And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile,
cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast
him, the young man reaches for the woman again.
Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it,
but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking,
clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
The exhausted Italian falls onto his back, gasping.
Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes,
smiles proudly, and asks again,
"You finish?"
Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear,
"No, I Swedish!"
________________
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he
knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his
truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No,
I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
___________
Tattoo Supply Shop - Canada
Caller: "Yeah, I bought this tattoo kit from you guys
the other day, and there's stuff missing from it."
Me: "Stuff missing? Like what?"
Caller: "Well, for starters, there's no book with it...
and I don't know how to assemble it."
Me: "Book? What book? We don't have books. We just sell
tattoo inks, needles, machines... and assembly? Is there
something not assembled in your kit?"
Caller: "Yeah, it's all in pieces... it's a piece of crap!"
Me: "Pieces? Did it get damaged during shipment to you?"
Caller: "No, it's just a bunch of pieces. There's a power
supply, foot pedal, a couple of tattoo machines... but I
gotta put it together myself. That's bulls***! I don't
know what I'm doing! You guys should have assembled
everything for me before shipping."
Me: "You want us to assemble your tattoo shop for you?
Wait a sec... did you say you don't know what you're doing?"
Caller: "That's right. I've never tattooed before. That's
why I thought there'd be a book with the kit."
Me: "You mean like, step one, put a picture on the skin,
step 2 dip the needle in ink, step 3 tattoo the ink into the skin?"
Caller: "Yeah, that's it! Why didn't you guys give me that
kinda book when I bought the kit!?"
Me: "So how are you expecting to learn to tattoo? Are you not
doing a tattoo apprenticeship at a real tattoo shop, where
they teach you to do this sort of thing?"
Caller: "Nah... I just figured I'd start off tattooing my
wife until I can figure it out..."
_____________
A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor
was called as a witness. The defense attorney asked,
"Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs
from the defendant?"
"No sir," answered the man.
"Did you ever get any from his wife?"
"No sir."
"Did you ever get any from his daughters?"
"Uh ... excuse me sir," the witness said,
"but we're still talking about
drugs here, right?"
___________
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she
got to the Pearly Gates she met Saint Peter who
said, "Before you can enter Heaven, you have to
pass a test.""Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter
said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?"
said Saint Peter Then she started to singing --
"Andy walks with me, he talks with me,
along life's sunny way..."
___________
Two Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding
enforcement on I-15, just north of Oceanside ,
San Diego , California . One of the officers was
using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles
approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were
suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading
300 miles per hour and climbing. The officer attempted
to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and
then it suddenly turned off. Just then a deafening roar
over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact
locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in
a low flying exercise near this, it's home base location.
Back at the California Highway Patrol Headquarters the
Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Marine Corps.
Base Commander for shutting down his equipment.
The reply came back in true USMC style:
'Thank you for your letter.
You may be interested to know that the tactical computer
in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently
locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and
automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is
why it shut down.Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile
aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically
locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately, the
Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for
what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert
status and was able to override the automated defense system
before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile
radar position. The pilot suggests you cover your mouths
when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets
are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding
the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left
rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap
is broken on his holster.'
Semper Fi
______________
FUN PAGES
Excite Bike Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41527&s=n
Fastest Firefly
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41423&s=n
How To Lose Your Girlfriend
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41112&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Concert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90912.htm
Hospital
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90913.htm
Plane Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90914.htm
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Goal Keeper
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000648.html
God Bless The Usa
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000649.html
Going Home Friday
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000650.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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