Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From the Archives
The elementary school I went to was Tee shaped and
set out in the middle of hay fields with a small
woods on one side. When the snow came from out
of the west it had a mile of open land to blow across
before it got to the school. The result was drifts
that were as high as the roof with a small open
space between the building. By this time of year
there was tunnels and snow forts built in the bank
and it looked like Swiss cheese. Recess and lunch
was spent building and planning attacks either of
snowball fights or the game of King of the Mountain.
There was always some snow at the bottom to absorb
the force of a 12 foot fall and you eventually
got your turn at the top.
Somewhere along the line there was a policy change
or the district started worrying about lawsuits
because they stopped all the play on the backside of
the school and held breaks under supervision in
full view of the office. Snowballs were banned but
just like a prison yard lookouts watched the office
and when their backs were turned, the snowballs
started flying. The front didn't have drifts but
it hard large snowbanks that were pushed up by a
plow truck and an old army surplus front end loader
they had to keep the parking lots and walks open.
They frequently had to stack the same stuff a dozen
times because we would roll the large blocks back
down again.
Children today are dressed a lot heavier than we used
to be for school. A Columbia jacket today is about
ten times as warm as the old nylon ski jackets were
and the insulation also reduces moisture. I can remember
getting soaked during first recess and 5 minutes
after you went back out your clothes were a block of
ice.
Enjoy the chips or we will make you eat snow and breathe
through your ears.
buffalo
I won't be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We're not just making promises
That we know we'll never keep
Land Of Confusion
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a
mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm
circumcised!
Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to
find
my
driver license photo and it was that same color. Black.
I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.
But it's a wheelchair!!
That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also
disabled!!!
I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I
should be black and Jewish and disabled.'
'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me
I turn around, and it's my Boyfriend.
Just what I needed!!!
I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend.
Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican
boyfriend,
drug addict, and HIV-positive!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH,
noooooo...I'
Bald!!!
The telephone rings.It's my brother.
He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang
out,
take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you
worthless piece of crap... Any job.'
Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo..
I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you
are
black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug
addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan.
But he doesn't get it.Frustrated, I hang up.
It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!
With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.
I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses!
There
is
trash everywhere.
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker...
Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican
boyfriend,
a drug addict, HIV- positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid
with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy
neighborhood.
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to
me, 'Sweetiepie,
my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided which
innaugral party we are going to for Obama ??????
Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed,
drug
addicted, Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald,
orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend,
but
please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
his wife caught him
http://www.thepostm
prayer
http://www.thepostm
don't get excited
http://www.thepostm
German Cussing
http://sydesjokes.
German Engineering Arab Technology
http://sydesjokes.
German Speed Bump
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two blondes are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty beat up
car
down to a bank they're going to rob. "Drive slower" pleads the one
in
the passenger seat, "I don't want all the nitro in the boot to
explode." "Relax," the driver replies, "even if it did, I've got a
spare box under the seat . . . "
~~~~~~
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a
canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip,"
explained Lars.
~~~~~~
All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic
considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.
~~~~~~~
A sergeant in a parachute regiment regularly took part in night-time
exercises. One night he was seated next to a lieutenant, fresh from
Jump School. He was quiet, sad, and looked a bit pale, so the
sergeant struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?"
asked. "No, just a bit apprehensive,
sergeant asked, "What's the difference?" The Lieutenant
replied, "That means I'm too chicken to admit that I am scared!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Small Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband and wife were undressing one night when she said, "Joyce
and
Mary were talking about their husbands' anatomy today. Joyce said
that
her husband filled out his shorts so well that they hired him to
model
Jockey shorts." Her husband said, "So?"
Then Mary said "her husband go so long and hard that they hired him
to
model condoms."
"I hope you stood up for me," he said.
"I did," his wife replied." I told them you could be a model, too."
"Thank you." "
"If," she went on, "anybody needed a model for a cocktail wiener."
The loneliness of a middle-aged man and woman - both divorcees,
eventually blossomed into love and finally marriage, but the wedding
night turned into a real disaster.
"You just do not fulfill me sexual expectations,
commented
the following morning.
You're right about that." replied the new husband. "But when I
promised
to fill the void in your life, I simply had no idea that it would be
so
blooming large!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Movie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
REJECTED TITLES FOR "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN"
HIGH NOONER
JEREMIAH'S JOHNSON
TRUE, HE GRITS
THE PLEASURE OF THE SIERRA, PADRE
THE MAN WHO SHOT ALL OVER LIBERTY VALANCE
HOW THE WEST WAS HUNG
THE WILD BRUNCH
HE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON
THE LEGEND OF THE LONG RANGER
DOC'S HOLIDAY WITH BILLY THE KID
VERY RAW HIDE
LONESOME DOUG
THE HOARSE SOLDIERS
DESTRY RIDES AGAIN... AND AGAIN
MCCABE AND MR. MILLER
A FISTFUL OF NED
HI, PLAINS DRIFTER!
QUICKLY DOWN UNDER
BAREBUTT MOUNTING
BONE-NANZA
DON'T MESS WITH TEX' ASS
HOMO ON THE RANGER
OKLAHOMO
LITTLE BATHHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE
PRANCES WITH WOLVES
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Married Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take
in
the zoo. They spent the day and at closing time they walked past the
gorilla cage and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.
"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your boobs," he
said.
"Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"
At first she declined but finally persuaded by her husband, she took
off
her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and
jumping up and down.
"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all
your
clothes and we'll see what he does." Again she said no and again he
persuaded her.
This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the
bars,
did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the
cage.
The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his
wife
in.
"Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell *HIM*, you have a
headache!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is this just married Chinese couple that decided to make love
on
their wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The
wife
did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy a
condom
from the shop nearby. When the husband went out, the wife waited
anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.
The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sold condoms and
when he finally found one, he realized that he had only 20 cents. He
asks the shop owner to sell him only one of the condoms and the shop
owner asked him which quality he wanted.
"The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black
condom,
average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest
quality, is 25 cents each."
So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with
him.
While the husband was out, a black thief came into the room. The
wife
did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the
thief and happily started screwing away. The wife was so exhausted
that
she fell asleep immediately.
When the husband reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.
Without
a warning, he jumped onto his wife, mounted her and started screwing
her
vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic
but
she thoroughly enjoyed the session.
Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a black baby boy. When the
baby grew up, he asked the father. "Papa, why am I black and you are
white?"
The father shouted, "You are damn lucky! 5 cents more and you would
have
been purple."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Promises
http://silverandgol
Carolyn w/I Will Be True To You ~ Elvis Presley
http://carolynsprec
John w/ I Wish I Was 18 Again
http://heavens-
Rick w/When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
http://www.wtv-
Three Old Men
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Chevy Selling It!
http://www.shangral
Chocolate - All About Chocolate - History of Chocolate
http://www.fieldmus
Comparison Of American Cities
http://www.bestplac
Duck Jump Via Peggy
http://www.bassfile
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Image to HTML/ASCII
http://tinyurl.
Backgrounds
http://www.masterdi
Crazy Text
http://www.wtv-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.harrythe
Kitty Korner
http://www.stuffonm
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Movie Links
Olympic 1
http://www.buffalos
Olympic 2
http://www.buffalos
Only in L.A
http://www.buffalos
Onzin
http://www.buffalos
Original Farmers Daughters
http://www.buffalos
Alien Fishing For Humans
http://www.buffalos
Anakondaukus
http://www.buffalos
Are You Going To Finish Strong
http://www.buffalos
Arkansas Wedding
http://www.buffalos
Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill goes to the doctor. After examining her thoroughly, the doctor
is perplexed.
"I'm not sure what it is," he said. "You either have a bad
cold or you're pregnant."
"Oh," says Jill, "I must be pregnant --I don't know anyone
who could have given me a cold."
~~~~~
In a recent television show in the UK, actor and comedian John
Cleese
explained three reasons why the British are superior to Americans:
1. They speak English.
2. When they host a world championship they invite other countries.
3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on ONE
knee.
~~~~~
Scott was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a
brothel. "You shouldn't be so unhappy about it," the barkeep
said, "It's actually really romantic." "Oh, yeah?" responded
Scott. "Well, I thought she was home taking care of the kids and she
thought I was bowling. And to clinch it all, the madame wouldn't
give
me my money back and refused to give me another girl."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huge Dick
http://www.buffalos
Free To Good Home
http://www.buffalos
Denmark News
http://www.buffalos
Dont Point
http://www.buffalos
Taliban Singles
http://www.buffalos
Gas
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A destitute lady named Laker
Accosted and fucked a lewd Quaker.
When she asked him for bread,
He smiled sagely and said,
"If thee wisheth bread, fuck a baker."
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
'Cause they were simpler to grow than to chase.
For men who are not up to par,
Be bold, and in life you will star.
There's no need to get flustered
If you can't cut the mustard.
You'll do fine if you just lick the jar.
There once was a young man from Virtualand,
Who traded real life for a wedding band,
He signed onto the net,
His betrothed got upset,
And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the
bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-
curdling scream is heard coming from the
bathroom. A few minutes after that, another
loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to
investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're
scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time
I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes
the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in
and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop
bucket!!!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man joins the navy.
On the day he is about to go to sea, his father warned him to be
aware of gay sailors.
"But dad, how will I know?" "Trust me son, you will know."
After 6 months at sea, the ship comes into port.
The father was on the dock waiting for his son. The son, seeing his
father, got off the ship and shook his hand.
"Well boy, how did it go?"
"Dad, I found out what you meant about gay sailors. One night I was
out on deck all alone when a man came by and put his hand on my
shoulder so I grabbed his arm and threw him overboard."
"But how could you tell he was gay?"
"Well, for 3 days he swam behind the boat yelling,
"THROW ME A BUOY, THROW ME A BUOY!"
Tom
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1767
Grand Cayman's Cont
Parasailing
Rudy: How does this work?
Katie: I put this harness around you like this.... and then you
hang onto
this oversized kite while this line is attached to the boat. I will
start
the boat and gently go across the water and you will start to lift
in
the air.
Rudy: Okay.
Katie starts the engine and off they go. Rudy starts to glide about
twenty feet in the air.
Rudy shouting: This is fun!
Katie: I can't hear you. Slower you say, okay.
Katie slows the boat down and .....
SPLASH!!!!
Rudy is being dragged across the waves, bumping over each one with
his kite.
Rudy: Blub, faster or stop!
Katie swerves the boat around and Rudy hits the ramp for skiers and
... SPLASH!!!
Katie: Opps. Guess I had better stop.
Rudy you sure look wet.
Rudy: And a bit miffed.
Katie: You were flying with the birdies for a while...
Rudy: And swimming with the sharks..
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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