THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
It's my world, you all just live in it
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
My wife was always after me to go shopping with her.
Then I began wearing my favorite tee shirt.
She doesn't want me to go shopping with her anymore.
Now she takes her mom or one of her sisters.
Send me a hundred bux I'll make you one:)
I know all you guys will want one!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j030.html
Grandpa and junior
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j031.html
jerk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j032.html
what a question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j033.html
Sparky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j034.html
I'll take it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j035.html
75 pounds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j036.html
his wife caught him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j037.html
prayer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j038.html
don't get excited
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j039.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The day Obama care died
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8865.html
Ray Stevens- We the people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8866.html
drunk driver
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8867.html
this is beautiful
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8868.html
return to Camp Granada
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8869.html
bad morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8870.html
________________
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks
away in a fit of rage.
The German - carefully washes the copy, sterilizes
it and makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly,
since it was extra with no charge.
The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman,
the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra
money to invent a device that prevents flies from
falling into coffee.
The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling
in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN,
takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of
coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then
blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman,
the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying
to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his
cup of tea to the Palestinian.
______________
"Mom? I've got a question. The guys at school are
using words I don't understand."
"What words, dear?"
"Pussy and Bitch."
Mom inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh, that's
easy. A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico.
A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy."
"Thanks, Mom.."
He then found his Dad out in the garage.
"Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, son?"
"Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don't think she
told me the right meanings."
Dad said: "Son, never ask your mother about these things,
ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."
He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the
centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said:
"Son, everything inside the circle is pussy."
"Okay, Dad. Then what's a bitch?"
Dad replied: "Everything outside the circle."
__________
Two female co-workers are having a conversation at work:
- Did you have good sex last night?
No. It was a disaster... Husband came home, ate his dinner
in 3 minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in 4
minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in 2 minutes. How about you?
- Oh it was amazing... My husband came home. He took me out
to a romantic dinner. After dinner we took a walk for an hour.
When we came home he lit the candles around the house and
we had an hour of foreplay. After foreplay we had an hour
long fantastic sex and after sex we talked for an hour.
It was like in a fairytale.
At the same time their husbands are talking at work:
- Did you have good sex last night?
Yes, it was great! I came home dinner was on the table, I
ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. What about you?
- It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because
they cut the electricity cause I didn't pay the bill.
In return I had to take my wife out to dinner and the dinner
was so expensive that we didn't have money for a cab so we
had to walk home for an hour. I was so angry when we came
home that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I
couldn't cum for another hour. After I finally did I was
so mad and aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep
for another hour.
___________
A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends
one evening."Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner
for my husband! He's
going to really be ticked if it's not ready on time."
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to
go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a
wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic,
she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it
with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up.
She greets her husband and then watches in horror as he sits down
to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband is really enjoying
his dinner.
"Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty
years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made
her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it
and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they
exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died.
The woman were sitting around the table playing bridge when one
of the cronies said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding
him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just
sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your
husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the
mantel while he was licking his ass!"
___________
One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class,
"who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another.
No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny sticks up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his
propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo,
looks for another student to ask.
Finally when no one else raises their hand, she says, "yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says,
"Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mom say,
'that's lovely'. Dad replied to her, 'Yep, it's in different.'"
____________
A woman was complaining to her friend, "My sex life is awful.
My husband doesn't have the foggiest idea how to make me come.
What's worse is, he gets mad when I try to tell him."
"Do what I did," replied her friend. "I told my husband that
I was exactly like his Computer."
"Like his Computer?" replies the inquisitive woman.
"Yeah," the explained her friend. "We both come with instructions."
_________________
BUFFALO BILL
Aaaaahhhhh!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90906.htm
Advise for the Dimocraps
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90907.htm
Airline Pilot of the year
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90908.htm
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
German Cussing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000630.html
German Engineering Arab Technology
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000631.html
German Speed Bump
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000632.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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