THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
I don't feel old. I don't feel
anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
AND WHO SAYS WE'RE NOT RICH!!
Silver in the Hair
Gold in the Teeth.
Stones in the Kidneys
Sugar in the Blood.
Lead in the Ass.
Iron in the Arteries.
And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
its your husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g050.html
which lane
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g051.html
husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g052.html
sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g053.html
our own way
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g054.html
husband doesn't know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g055.html
don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g056.html
cemetary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g057.html
new option
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g058.html
vengeance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g059.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
whats in my pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8751.html
introducing the rolltop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8752.html
Senator Max Baucus/drunk on the senate floor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8746.html
soccer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8747.html
funny clips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8748.html
accidents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8749.html
Pockets the sex clown
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8750.html
_______________
Justice in Detroit, Michigan. December 10, 2009...(AP) -
A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Wayne County
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court
ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy
has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with
child custody law and regulation requiring that family
unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his
aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly
refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested
that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and
said that they also beat him..After considering the
remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life among
them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing
the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer
with the child welfare officials, the judge granted
temporary custody to the Detroit Lions Football Team,
whom the boy firmly believes are not capable
of beating anyone..
______________
This guy goes into a whore house and gives the lady
at the front desk $500 and tells her that he wants
a woman that can handle him. She replies, go down
the hall and its the second door on the right. He
does and just as they get started she starts
screaming from the pain.He then marches back to the
front desk and tell the woman that he said he wanted
a woman that could handle him. She says, ok go down
the hall and its the third door on the left. He does
and once again the woman starts screaming just as
they get started. Then he goes back to the front desk
and she says I know, I know,you want a women that can
handle you. She says, ok ,ok, this time go all the way
down the hall and down the stairs, there won't be any
lights so just feel around til you hit something furry
and wet and stick it in. He does this and just as they
get started nothing happens there isn't any screaming.
Well he thinks, finally, this could work. As he gets
into it he shouts "Oh yea, talk to me baby".
She replies "BAAAAAAA"!
___________
A college student picked up his date at her parents
home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take
her to a fancy restaurant. Once at the fancy place, to
his dismay she ordered almost every most expensive item
on the menu. She ordered appetizers (everything from
Calamari to Escargot), lobster, prime rib, champagne...
the works!Finally he asked her, "Does your mother feed you
like this at home?" "No," she answered, "but my mother
isn't expecting me to suck her cock."
__________
Once was watching his mother take a bath. As she got
out to dry off, he notices her upper torso he asks,
"Momma what are those?"
She replies, "Son those are my breasts."
As she turns her back to him, he asks "Momma what is that?"
She replies "Son that is my derriere."
As she turns to slip on her robe he spies her nether
region and asks, "Momma what is that?"
She replies "That son is none of your business!"
Later the boy is playing by the kitchen door,
and the father comes in from work hungry. The father
hollers toward the kitchen to the mom, "Hey, honey,
what's for dinner?"
She replies "None of your business."
The son, shaking his head, says, "YUCK!"
____________
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick
will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of
him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after
awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the
voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more
step a car will run over you and you will die." The
man did as he was instructed, just as a car came
careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I
got married?"
______________
Although a bright and able man, my husband is almost completely
helpless when faced with even the simplest domestic chore.
One day, in exasperation, I pointed out to him that our
friend, Betty had taught her husband Frank, to cook,
sew and do laundry, and that if anything ever happened
to Betty, Frank would be able to care for himself.
Then I said, "What would you do if anything happened to me?"
After considering that possibility for a moment, my
husband said happily, "I'd move in with Frank!"
___________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Ferry in Rough Seas
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000565.html
Fiat Parking
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000566.html
Fiddler And Pianist
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000567.html
___________
BUFFALO Bill
Why I Go To Weddings
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71609.htm
Why Buy Expensive Toys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71610.htm
Why Girls Shouldn't Fire Handguns
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72101.htm
___________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Halloween Monster Name
http://tinyurl.com/yafh7ff
Governor of Poker
http://tinyurl.com/aubzcy
Age of War
http://tinyurl.com/acp62r
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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