THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"A wise man may look ridiculous
in the company of fools."
- Thomas Fuller
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You know, there is a lot of talk these days about diets.
I was watching the tube the other morning and saw no less
than 3 advertisements for 3 different ones. One even claimed
that you could lose weight simply by eating their cookies.
Hmmm. I have never lost weight that way, but I would like
to talk to the nice looking lady in their commercial and find
out more about how that works! That's for sure. !!! Some say
you should lose weight counting carbs. Others say you should
lose weight counting calories. Still others say that you should
lose weight simply by excersize. Jogging 4.3 miles per day might
work. that's possible. But I do not have anywhere that I
want to go that far!!! You know, I think I have a theory.
I think if you want to lose weight, you should just unscrew
the light in the refrigerator. That way, if you can't see
to make a midnight snack, you wouldn't be tempted to eat it,
right?
No midnight snack, lose weight.
Makes sense.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
booby beer covers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j030.html
to go
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j031.html
senior chat rooms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j032.html
just remember
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j033.html
honest you guys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j034.html
so silly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j035.html
off shore drilling?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j036.html
generl's daughters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j037.html
you're wife is getting more
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j038.html
no waiting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j039.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
A real amazing sea creature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies0009.html
the male bonding incident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10010.html
redneck holiday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10011.html
tiny bubbles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10012.html
a broad jump
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10013.html
heavy duty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10014.html
change a flat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10015.html
fake id.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/lovies10016.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Haiti
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd302.html
A missionary heard about a native who had five wives.
"You are violating a law of God," he said, "so you
must go and tell four of those women you can no longer
live here or consider you their husband."
The native thought a few moments, then said, "Me wait here.
You tell 'em."
________________
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says,
"DDDDDoc, I've bbbeen stut-stuttterrrering for Ye-yeears, and
IIII'm tired of it. Ca-ca-caan yoooou hellllp me?"
The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going
on."So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the
problem is."The guy asks, "We-we-well wwwhat is it, dddoc?
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot
long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal
cords."The guy asks, "Wwwhaat ca-can we dddo?"
The doctor says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter
one."The guy replies, "DDDDDoooo it!"
The guy has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back
into the doctor's office and says,
"Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but
I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't
like it anymore. She liked it better with my long one. I don't
care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back
on."The doctor says, "NNNNope a ddddeal's aaa dddddeal!!!
_____________
A butcher had a daughter that he couldn't marry off for the life of him.
She showed no interest in any of her suitors. This caused poor old Butch to
lose a lot of sleep, nights, worrying that he was going to wind up with an
old maid permanently on his hands.
Then late on night he heard a noise coming from the shop below his
bedroom. He went down to investigate, and observed his daughter masturbating
furiously with a salami. He shook his head sadly and went back to bed.
The next day a customer came into the shop and asked to buy the salami.
"I'm sorry, but that salami is not for sale. You see, it's my son-in-law."
________________
"Doc, I just can't sleep anymore," Steve complained.
"I've tried everything, but I just toss and turn."
"You have to learn to relax," the doctor said.
"Try to put each part of your body to sleep separately.
Work out your own method -- the way that works for YOU!"
That night, Steve crawled into bed, got comfortable and
started to talk to his body. "Toes, go to sleep,"
he whispered. "Feet, go to sleep. Legs, go to sleep.
Hips, go to sleep. Stomach, go to sleep."
Just then his wife walked in! ALL she was wearing was
a transparent teddy. Steve opened one eye, then lifted
his head from the pillow. "OK," he shouted, "up, up...everybody up!"
_________________
St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.
"Welcome to heaven, my son. What did you do with your life on earth?"
"I was a policeman," he responded.
"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.
"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics
out of the hands of kids."
"Wonderful, my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."
A few moments later a second man walks up. Welcome to
heaven, my son. What did you do with your life on earth?"
"I was a policeman," he responded.
"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.
"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and
highways safe for travelers." "Well done.
Pass through the gates into Paradise."
A few moments later a third man walks up.
"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"
"I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.
"I was a Military Policeman, Sir." "Excellent, my son.
I've gotta go pee, watch the gate while I'm gone, will ya?"
FUN PAGES
Cinema Tycoon
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41689&s=n
Motorcycle Sounds
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38548&s=n
Classic Pong Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41549&s=n
Dead Love
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41408&s=n
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Talking Italian
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81829.htm
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81830.htm
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81831.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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