THE POSTMAN'S CORNER People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.  http://www.thepostm Win a $500 Gas Card & a chance for a 2008 Escape Hybrid! Don't just sit there. You've got to Play 2 Win! http://www.thepostm  http://www.thepostm Economic crisis. Change is coming. Millions in free grants may be lost. Unfortunately the laws granting free money to help Americans could be lost! On top of one-time grants being offered right now, you may even be able to qualify to receive this money over and over again.These grants are in place specifically for people who need assistance paying for bills,buying a home, starting their own business, going to school, or even helping raise their children. Get a check in as little as 12 DAYS! http://www.thepostm  http://www.thepostm Get a FREE DELL LAPTOP! http://www.thepostm  http://www.thepostm Receive a free Nikon Coolpix digital camera! 3.5 inch touch screen 10 megapixel ccd 19 scene modes optical image stabilization! http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Before marriage, after marriage http://www.thepostm we would mind http://www.thepostm in the personals http://www.thepostm Rip Van Winkle http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Guy Lombardo-wav file http://www.thepostm Happy New Year in New York http://www.thepostm She's got you http://www.thepostm Happy New Year count down-Europe http://www.thepostm Charlie Brown musical chairs http://www.thepostm Have a happy! http://www.thepostm Murphy Brown, what are you doing New Years eve? http://www.thepostm ============ POWER POINT DISPLAYS pop the balloons http://www.thepostm Constantine Brancusi http://www.thepostm ============ INTERESTING STUFF bacon explosion http://www.thepostm best and worse sci fi movies of 2008 http://www.thepostm photo gallery http://www.thepostm drive in movies http://www.thepostm From a passenger ship, one can just barely see a bearded man on a small island in the distance who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward. "I have no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts." ____________ Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home and start all over again. My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!" "And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!" ____________ A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom'. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Mum, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion..... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your Son, Paul P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you - call me when it's safe to come home! ___________ A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies. "Are you feeling OK?" he asked. "Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?" "Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'." ____________ An American visiting in England asked at the hotel for the elevator. The porter looked a bit confused, but smiled when he realized what the man wanted. "You must mean the lift." "No, if I ask for the elevator, I mean the elevator." "Well, over here, we call them lifts." "Now, you listen here. Someone in America invented the elevator." "Oh, right you are, sir. But someone here in England invented the language __________ Judge: "You say you're petitioning for a legal name change?" Leon: " Yes, your honor." Judge: (looking at petition) "I can see why, your name is Leon Poopferbrains, is it?" Leon: "Yes, your honor." Judge: " And what do you want to change your name to, Mr. poopferbrains? Leon: " Melvin, your honor." ___________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Insert Drive-Thru Joke Here http://tinyurl. No Child Left Behind Pushes Forward http://tinyurl. BUFFALO Bill How About a Little Sex Tonight http://www.buffalos Old Fashion http://www.buffalos Never Happen http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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