[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Wed



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I know that I am not alone when I say this but this blast of Arctic
air has me longing for someplace much closer to the Equator.
It may only be 20 below but with a 35 mph wind along with it,
the wall of my bedroom next to my bed feels like a freezer. I
have been feeling so many aches and pains and I hate to see
what the gas bill for the month will look like because we have
been keeping the house in the lower 70's. The apartment
building was scheduled to get new siding, furnaces, and storms
last summer but it was hard to get contractors to bid on it. I am
tempted to blow every bit of snow in the neighborhood in between
my house and the neighbor's for insulation.

I was listening to Coast to Coast last night and the discussion
was on fluoride in water. This is far from a new thing as I remember
arguments against it 40 years ago, in fact the old movie Doctor
Strangelove had a General destroy the earth because he blamed the
Commies for poisoning us with fluoride. It brought back memories of
going into the Junior High every couple of years for Fluoride
treatments.
They gave you a dental examination, complained that you weren't
brushing often enough and then took tubes of cotton the size of your
finger and stuffed them between your lips and gums so that your
saliva
couldn't wash the fluoride away before it dried. You had to set
there with dry mouth for 15 minutes and the fluoride was nasty.
There was talk even back
then that the fluoride hardened some people's teeth so much they
became brittle and when they added it to water and toothpaste
it was blamed for more ills than Aspartame but I still keep using
both,
because I trust our government.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Random Chips
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What did the leper say to the hooker after she gave him a blow job?
Keep the tip.

The Roman Catholic Church is coming out with a new low-fat Communion
wafer. It is called: "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus!"

Four women were chatting in the locker room, when one of them
mentioned the fact that while there were numerous terms for male
masturbation, i.e. jerking off, spanking the monkey, slappin' the
salami and so on, there weren't any common terms for female
masturbation. "I've always called it 'jilling off'," said one of
the women. "But that's just a feminization of 'jacking off,'" said
the first. "You're right," said another. "We don't seem to have
any slang terms of our own for it."
The fourth woman snorted. "After fourteen years of marriage,
there's only one thing I call it." "What's that?" "Finishing the
job."

Q: What do you say to a man with a three-inch dick?
A: Hahahahahahahaha!

Send This Warning to Everyone on Your List!
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey
then asks you to show him your boobs... DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS!
This is a scam. He only wants to see your boobs!

Old Rabbi Wolfson was begging his board of directors to buy a new
chandelier for the synagogue. Pleading for more than an hour, he
sat down sullen and hopeless in his ambition to acquire a
chandelier. Then the elder president of the board stood up.
"What're we wasting time talkin' for?" he said rhetorically. "Foist
of all, a chandelier, ...
we ain't got nobody who could even spell it. Second, we ain't got
nobody who could even play it. And third, what we need most in the
synagogue is more light!"

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the
end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Cram
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31319.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31319.htm "> Here!</a>

No Place Like Home
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31318.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31318.htm "> Here!</a>

Notes
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31317.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31317.htm "> Here!</a>

Fish soup
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Shoppingx004.jpg

Safety Warning
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005signs0005.jpg

Smallest bikini (smut alert)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005SmallestBikini.jpg

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Baby Chips
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SOLDIER'S LETTER
A SOLDIER RECEIVED A LETTER FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND, BUT HE COULDN'T
SHOW
IT TO HIS FRIENDS, BECAUSE SHE SIGNED IT "MOTHER," AND THIS IS WHAT
SHE
WROTE:

M- IS FOR THE MANY TIMES WE DID IT.

O- IS FOR THE OTHER TIMES WE TRIED.

T- IS FOR THE TERRIFIC TIMES WE HAVE.

H- IS FOR THE HOTEL WE WENT TO.

E- IS FOR THE EASY WAY WE WENT.

R- IS FOR THE RHYTHM WE HAD.

THAT SPELLS "MOTHER" -- WHAT I'M GOING TO BE IN 9 MONTHS.
HE WROTE BACK AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:

F- IS FOR THE FUCKED UP LETTER YOU SENT ME.

A- IS FOR THE ASS YOU ARE.

T- IS FOR THE TROUBLE YOUR IN.

H- IS FOR THE HOE YOU REALLY ARE.

E- IS FOR THE EASY WAY YOU GAVE IT UP.

R- IS FOR THE ROMANCE WE NEVER HAD.

AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M THE FATHER
THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF THE BABY:

B- IS FOR THE BABY WITHOUT A FATHER.

A- IS FOR THE ABORTION YOU BETTER GET.

B- IS FOR THE BASTARD HE OR SHE WILL BE.

Y- IS FOR THE "YES" WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID "NO."

SHE REALIZED THAT SHE FORGOT A FEW THINGS IN THE FIRST LETTER SO SHE
WROTE THE DICKLESS WONDER BACK AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID:
B- IS FOR THE BEEF YOU HAD WITH ME.
E- IS FOR THE EATING YOU DID.

S- IS FOR THE GOOD PUSSY YOU SUCKED.

T- IS FOR THE TIMES I GOT YOU HARD.

F- IS FOR THE FUNNY MADE DICK YOU HAVE.

R- IS THE RASH ON YOUR ASS.

I- IS FOR THE INTERCOURSE THAT WAS BORING.

E- IS FOR THE ENERGY FOR YOU TO CUM.

N- IS FOR THE NASTY ASS DOG YOU ARE.

D- IS FOR THE DAD YOUR GOING TO BE.

AND THAT SPELLS "BESTFRIEND" -- WHO I WAS FUCKIN' WHILE YOU WERE
AWAY.

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Mommy Mommy Chips
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Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose? You
don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

Mommy, Mommy!, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? Shut up
son
and get back in the sack!

Mommy, Mommy! The milk mans here. Have you got the money or do you
want me to go out and play?

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to holiday in Africa! Shut up son and put
your other foot in the CARE package!

Mommy, Mommy!, can I lick the bowl?
Shut up son and flush the toilet like all the other kids.

Mommy, Mommy ! When is the pool going to be ready? Shut up son and
keep spitting.

Mommy, Mommy!, why are we pushing the car over the cliff? Shut up
son
or you'll wake your father.

Mommy, Mommy!, the kids at school call me a werewolf! Shut up son
and
go brush your face.

Mommy, Mommy!, how far is America?
Shut up son and keep rowing.

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up son and get the marshmallows!

Mommy, Mommy!, Daddy's going out!
Shut up son and pour some more petrol on him.

Mommy, Mommy!, why do other kids tell me I have a big head? Don't
worry about them son. Now take your cap and go get me 50 lbs. of
potatoes at the corner store.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! Shut up and get
back
in the barrel!

Mommy, Mommy!, I don't want to go to England! Shut up son and keep
swimming.

Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big! Shut up son and
get
your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in.

Mommy, Mommy! What's a delinquent child? Shut up son and light your
cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids? Shut up son and
deal.

Mommy, Mommy!, I don't want to go to China! Shut up son and keep
digging.

Mommy, Mommy!, why is Daddy running so fast? Shut up son and reload.

Mommy, Mommy!, can I wear a bra now? I'm 14! Shut up Stanley.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? Not until I find a better
place to bury Daddy.

Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?
Shut
up son and get back in the box!

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Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
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Short Chips
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A man and his wife were sitting in a bar. Gary
comes in and sat down next to the woman. As he
sipped his drink, Gary ogled the women until her
husband, incensed, demanded that Gary stop
looking at his wife, and that he wipe those
filthy thoughts out of his mind.

Gary said, "Hey man, I wasn't ogling your wife; I
wasn't thinking any filthy thoughts...back off
buddy....I just came in here for a piece of beer."

~~~~~

Two old women were sitting on a bench talking.
One asked the other: "How's your husband holding
up in bed these days?"

The second old woman replied, "He makes me feel like an exercise
bike."

"How's that?"

"He climbs on and starts pumping away, but we never get anywhere."

~~~~~~~

Don's wife had recently died and she was being
buried. Don was sobbing and was being consoled by
his friends. "Don't worry Don, in five or six
months you may meet a beautiful lady who will
make you happy."

"I know, I know," says Don, "But what am I gonna do tonight?"

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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
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Meal Chips
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Sitting in a small restaurant, a client asked the proprietor for the
menu.

"We don't need a menu here," said the proprietor, "We can serve
anything
you ask for."

"What? Anything?" asked the client.

"Yes, anything at all." was the reply.

"In that case, I would like some camel's tail soup."

"Very well, sir, but it will take a little while, and you will have
to
wait a while for it."

"That's OK," said the client. He sat waiting for an hour or so, then
a
waiter brought a tureen of fragrant soup. He ate the lot, and was
thoroughly delighted. He called for the proprietor. "I really
enjoyed
that," he said, "But surely it was not really camel's tail soup."

"It certainly was" exclaimed the proprietor. "Tell you what, come
with me."

The client was led to the back of the restaurant, where a Porsche
was
parked, and was motioned into it. They drove about a hundred miles
into
the countryside, to an enormous farm. There the client was amazed to
see
every possible kind of exotic plants, animals and birds. The
restaurant
proprietor pointed to a compound in which there were two camels, of
which one had only a stump of a tail, bandaged, with a trace of
blood.

"That's where your soup came from," he announced.

The client was absolutely floored. "That is remarkable," he gasped,
"but
there must sometimes be demands you can't satisfy."

"No," replied the proprietor, "we have never been caught out...
Wait,
no, we were once... when a customer asked for crocodile balls on
toast.
We were clean out of bread that day!!!"

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Short Chips
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Then there was the prospective client who was extremely chagrined as

he critically appraised his girl for the night. "Girl?" he barked.
"Girl?!? You must have spent your girlhood entertaining the Colonial

Troops." "Please!" the veteran prostitute replied with dignity.

"Remember; mine is the oldest profession."

"I know," he moaned, "but I'll be damned if I'll spend the night
with a charter member."

When two jerks meet, the conversation can lead to anything. "Fine
thing," said one irately. "I ask you for the phone number of a
woman,
and she turns out to be a lady taxi-driver."

"A lady taxi-driver!" the second echoed. "Whatever gave you that
idea?"

"Well, all night long she kept going out on calls."

Spokeswoman Susan Seenan said, "We know from talking to patients and
clinics that there is only one active sperm donor covering the whole
of Scotland at the moment."

from the Glasgow Herald

BJ (what a guy!)

. Circumcisions by Appointment
. Urogenital Manipulation
. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers
. Bombproof Your Horse

actual book titles nominated for The Bookseller magazine's oddest
titles award

BJ

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Heartprints
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/Hrt.html

Rick w/My Quilt
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/rick/My_Quilt.html

John w/ In The Still Of The Night
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/inthestillofthenight/

What Does the Bible Say About Fasting?
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&s
id=1102

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We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
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Surfin Surfari

1960's Via Kathy
http://objflicks.com/TakeMeBackToTheSixties.htm

Universal Remote Control Codes
http://www.remotecodelist.com/remotes/

A Meal To Die For Via Dianne
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4632991n

Volkner Mobil RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

The Spamhaus Project
http://www.spamhaus.org/

How SCSI Works
http://computer.howstuffworks.com/scsi.htm

Computer Tour
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/howstuffworks/23-computer-tour-video
.htm

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right way.

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.dogfriendly.com/

Kitty Korner
http://www.glumbert.com/media/cattoilet.html

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Movie Chips

Friends
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjijk.htm

1802
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dkjksjks.htm

5700
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdedfdd.htm

6664
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfertt.htm

AA.WMVPV
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Interessant Eierschlange
http://www.buffaloschips.com/awereew.htm

You Know That Has To Hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswsw.htm

Javelin Live Fire VS T72
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdxs.htm

Lays Potato Chips
http://www.buffaloschips.com/awewqw.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Olympic Chips
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It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian
competitor he skates around to some classical music in a slightly
dull costume performs some excellent leaps but with out any great
artistic feel for the music.

The Judges' scores read:
Britain 5.8 Russia 5.9 United States 5.5 Ireland 6.0

Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes
costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd
clapping , but technically not so good as the Russian slightly
mislanding a triple Salchow and losing the centre during a spin. But
artistically a more satisfying performance.

The Judges' scores read:
Britain 5.8 Russia 5.5 United States 5.9 Ireland 6.0

Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey
jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice
trips straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. Tries
to get up staggers a few paces then slips again. Spends his entire
'routine' getting up then slipping over again. Finally he crawls off
the ice a tatty and bleeding mess.

The Judges' scores read:
Britain 0.0 Russia 0.0 United States 0.0 Ireland 6.0

The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison "How
the hell can you give that mess 6.0"

To which the Irish judge replies
"You've gotta remember, it's damn slippy out there"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

something burning?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k118.html

something between us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k119.html

slinky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k120.html

Silly Turkey
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270687.htm

Hunch Cure
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270688.htm

Hungry Shark
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270689.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
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Not available in stores!

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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My missus, back when we were young,
Asked the doctor to fix her torn lung;
When asked how it ripped,
She replied as she stripped,
"Doc, that man I just married is hung!"
- - - - - - - - - -

We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!
- - - - - - - - - -

My back aches, my penis is sore,
I simply can't fuck anymore.
I'm dripping with sweat,
And you haven't come yet,
And, my God! It's a quarter to four!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out

Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
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Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
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Parting Chips
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A group of one hundred freshmen from McGill University each
contributed 10 bucks to the kitty. When the money was collected,
they
drew lots to see which one would have the night's pleasure of
visiting
Montreal's most famous call girl who charges one thousand dollars
for
a super sex fling. That night the winner, a love-starved, panting
youth named Spencer, went to her luxurious boudoir and handed her
the
money. "That's a huge sum of money for a college boy to have," she
told him. He explained the entire situation to her, telling her how

all the boys had drawn lots to see who would have the joy of her
shapely favors. She was touched by the story and remembered her
early
days when a buck looked plenty big in her purse. With softening
heart
she said, "I'm going to do something that I've never done before.
I'm
going to give you back your money." Then she gave him back his ten
dollars.

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One

who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up

late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie

down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.

In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad,

fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon

boating or playing golf or tennis...

When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the

finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my

veranda again."

The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be

envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She

asked, "What's his wife's name?"

Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."

Randy

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TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!

The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!

What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.

http://buffaloschips.com/peeler

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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